Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Work Stuff and More Garter Testing 4 - In the "Cold"

I am happily on my business trip. So far, it has been pretty good, except for missing Sir. We did a puzzle room as a teambuilding exercise, then went to dinner at this historic tavern, where everyone was dressed up like it was the mid-1800s and the food was fantastic. The sessions today were really informative and well done. And they gave us tacos for lunch!!

One thing that I find interesting is how people dress here. Normally, we all wear uniforms to work. But at this meeting we can dress casually. I am 95% sure I am the only person wearing a skirt today. I am on a break right now, but we're meeting again in a bit and I am going to look around a little more closely. Thinking of skirts is making me think of the most recent "Garter Testing" that Sir and I did a few weeks ago.

So, Sir and I went out to run errands. I was being grumpy and didn't want to go. But I sucked it up and thought, this might be a good time to try and test the garter belt and socks outdoors in cold weather.

Sir checked the weather and it said it was 39 degrees. Not bad, good enough for a test in the cold, we thought.

I feel like I looked pretty presentable. Just an everyday woman running errands. You couldn't tell what was underneath. And it looked to me like a normal outfit I'd wear outside.

Sir and I went to his doctor's appointment. Then we stopped to pick up his prescriptions. Then we went to Best Buy to get a flash drive, and look at replacing his tablet.

The garter belt is fine. Very comfortable. Stays where it should. I'm really quite happy with it. The socks... while they stayed up, again they are just a bit too tight in the thigh. As time went on they were getting more and more uncomfortable. When I got home I couldn't wait to get them off!

As for testing in the cold... well it warmed up. It was 50 degrees! I even took my coat off. I was very comfortable wearing these in terms of warmth at 50... not sure again how it would hold up to colder temps.I could feel a breeze around my upper thighs, but on a day like today, it was pleasant. I enjoyed it. If it were colder... I think I will need a slip and much longer skirts to be warm in those colder temps. More wardrobe to acquire!

So while I am not wearing those garters today (I have leggings on underneath my skirt), it is something to think about. Maybe this time next year at this meeting, I won't have leggings; I'll have my thigh-highs and garters!!

It actually makes me a little nervous; being "that person". Because what if they are seen... what will my coworkers think? Will it affect my employment somehow?

Just little thoughts of paranoia. I could also get a longer skirt to be sure they won't be seen, too!! Only time will tell what will happen, though. Except getting rid of the leggings. Sir's already decreed that, so it will happen!

Saturday, April 21, 2018

FFF Twelve

Squeezing in Fit for Friday!

Really crazy busy this week. Sir started his new job. We're apartment hunting. Work issues causing me to stay late. Volunteering, too. I'm gonna do a quick update so I can maybe get to bed before midnight!

Workouts: 3/7 - Two sports practices, and a lot of hiking at work.

Eating: 2.5/7 - went to a conference on Saturday and ate whatever. Had some very snacky evenings.

Weight: Lost 0.8 lbs! :)

Stress: This week was tougher with change and work stress, but today was good. Slept in. Watched a movie with Sir. Got ice cream. Did some yardwork. Went to a fancy gala tonight.

Decluttering: I think the yard work counts! Sir and I took a huge bucket of sticks to the town compost park. I pulled weeds and got rid of the evergreens I had up for winter ( which were not so green anymore).

Sleep: 5/7 - pretty good this week! I took naps or went to bed early when I could. 7-9 hours every night!

I may be MIA next week. Going away for work. Will be eating poorly; whatever they feed us. I am being put up in a hotel though, so I plan on using the fitness center, and hitting the pool and hot tub!!

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Ask and You Shall Receive

Last Tuesday I was off work. On a lovely weekday. I had a nice lemon tart in a coffee-shop while reading a book. I got my car serviced. I made a nice dinner and spent time with Sir when he got home.

Lately, I've been feeling pretty frisky. More than "normal" I suppose. When he first got home, I was not subtle about it. At all.

But Sir was tired after a long day at work. And it *was* late. So he said he just wanted to watch TV and go to bed. So we did watch TV, and I got ready for bed too. In my long warm pajamas and my big bathrobe, and I got myself all bundled up in bed with the heating blanket on.

Just when I felt ready to pass out, Sir changed his mind.

Initially I was grumpy. You see, Sir has tended toward a habit of waiting until what feels like the last minute to get it on. When we were both off work, he'd have literally the entire day, and then right before bed is when he'd start making a move. It felt like he would do this every time to me! I would get so frustrated, since I felt like I was putting myself out there all day and now when I'm tired and ready for bed (and not feeling so sexy anymore), he's finally ready?

I did tell him, "You know, you did have the entire evening..."

On the other hand, I am his submissive. If he feels like it is sexytime, it IS sexytime.

And he was right, and it was fantastic.

Plus, wasn't I the one saying last week that this was one of the few things I was willing to lose sleep over?

I got what I asked for and it was worth it, though I lost sight of it momentarily.

Friday, April 13, 2018

FFF: Eleven - Fresh Start Friday

Time for Fit for Friday!

Hope the week is treating you all well. It's been a busy one for me with work and other things, but I'm off this weekend so hopefully I can play catch up, and be outside. It looks like spring may finally be here, for real!

Workouts: 5/7 - Pretty good this week. Friday, between hiking and walking downtown, I did over 6 miles. Sunday was sports practice, and I went for a two mile run with a teammate right after. Tuesday I did this lower body workout. Did a walk on Wednesday, and another sports practice on Thursday.

Eating: 2/7 - Sir and I went out for wings and beer on Saturday night. On Tuesday I was off work and threw myself an eating party. And I only now just finished the last of my Easter candy, which I've been eating all week. I think I am PMS-ing too.

Weight: Gained another 0.8 lbs. Maybe some of it is bloat, but a lot of it is food. Hopefully back on track this week!

Stress: Despite it all, I feel pretty good. Having this weekend off helps.

Decluttering: Maybe that will happen this week? I did bring some boxes home for our eventual move!

Sleep: 4/7 - Three nights over 8 hours, two over 7. Tuesday was another night where I was okay with losing sleep. Last night was rough though. Couldn't fall asleep after practice, and had to be up at 5:30 AM. Still, I think I'm getting used to it, and I'm not as exhausted as before.

Sir starts his brand new job on Monday! And we can finally start looking for apartments to reduce the commute times. We're going out tomorrow night to celebrate. Hooray, date night! I'm hoping to attack the garden this week. And perhaps I can have a fresh week to work on my weight goals this week too.

Happy Spring!

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

The Last Pair of Pants

Over five years ago, Sir decided to give me a dress code. I was not to wear pants or shorts anymore. I was to wear skirts and dresses only. I could wear tight leggings under them, for warmth in the cold, but that was it. Sir realized this wasn't going to happen overnight, and over time I've gotten more skirts and dresses and stopped purchasing pants altogether. I've donated and gifted the pants I did have, little by little. So, though I've been extremely compliant in this dress code for years now...

I finally got rid of my last real pair of pants:

These. This unassuming little pair of black sweatpants. They finally went to the donation pile. And with that, I now own no pairs of wearable pants. I have one pair of jeans (that I would never wear), that I keep for sentimental reasons. They're not even in my closet, not that I could fit into them anyway, ha! They're covered in paint splatters and colorful stitching from projects in high school. They live with other sentimental clothing in a box under the bed, and hardly ever see the light of day.

So now, in essence, I am a pantsless person. I still have the leggings, but they always get worn under a skirt or dress, not by themselves. And now, those are going, too. I have donated two pairs of leggings thus far. It will probably take years, but they will disappear from my life as well.

Goodbye pants! You were nice, and you were comfy. But I haven't actually put you on for a year or two, and you were a crutch. Just knowing you were in the closet, should I need you. But I don't!

Not anymore.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Kinky Tune Tuesday: U2 With or Without You

Heard this oldie but goodie on the radio the other day. It spoke to me; I could see the kink in a song I've always before enjoyed at face value.

Saturday, April 07, 2018

FFF: Tardy with Ten

A little late in getting to the Tenth Fit for Friday!

This was a busy week. Lots of exercise, lots of traveling. Lots of events. I straight up forgot to weigh in yesterday morning. Then I had a promotion event for sports right after work, and when I got home, I took a nice hot bath to ease my aching body, then cuddled up in my blankets and watched Jesus Christ Superstar Live! on Demand. Catching up now!

Workouts: 3.5/7 - I feel pretty good about the amount of workouts this week,though I made it to only one sports practice (other was cancelled for Easter). Most of the rest was due to work things and other commitments, but however it is fit in,  it counts for me! Went for a walk on Sunday with Sir and his family. Hiked over 3 miles on Wed. Should have went to sports Wed, but I was pooped. Thursday I went to practice, and we also did circuit training there, which was a killer! 

Eating: 1/7 - Oh man. Between my Uncle's party on Saturday, Easter Dinner on Sunday, and literally having candy every single day... this week was a crapshoot. A tasty one, hahaha! Sir and I made each other cute little Easter baskets. He put my favorite jellybeans in there, plus Cadbury caramel eggs (one of my few chocolate weaknesses!). Then the next day, he got me another bag of jellybeans, plus Swedish fish eggs and a Godiva bunny (cause it was the after-Easter Sale, he said, hahaha). I brought some to work, but all that means is that I'm eating it both at home AND at work! Candy and soda are my real weaknesses.

Weight:  Gained 0.6 lbs. It's less than I expected. Tomorrow is another day, another week!

Stress: I feel okay, but tired. Not so much needing sleep tired as body fatigue; muscle aches. Also, I had a migraine on Thursday, which made going to practice really difficult. I don't typically get migraines. Sir has had to explain what was happening to me every single time I get one. I don't recall getting any growing up or in my early 20's. Maybe one in my late 20's (now that I know what to look for). And maybe 4 or 5 in the past 3 years. I don't know what brings them on. I realize I am fortunate in that there are those who suffer from them much more regularly.

Decluttering: I did a little better with keeping the house in order, but no "extra" decluttering, really. I did put one book in the donation box though!

Sleep: 4.5/7 - I am trying and managing a bit better I think. Two nights over 9 hours! One night of 6 hours (the reason was so worth it). I took a nap on Thursday before practice and between the nap and regular sleep, I *almost* got 8 hours. Woo!

Hopefully Spring is springing. We were supposed to get snow, but that forecast got tossed out, thankfully! Hopefully it's warming up where you are, (or cooling down if you're on the other side of here)!

Friday, April 06, 2018

What Are You Willing to Lose Sleep For?

We all lose sleep over things sometimes.

Sometimes it is because we are anxious or worried. Sometimes it is because we are helping others. Sometimes it is because we want to have a little more fun! Stay out at that concert, dance late at that party, have a few more glasses of wine, etc.

But the next morning, sometimes we have regrets.

"Ohhh.... I shouldn't have done that!"

What are the things that you don't have those feelings about? That you may wake up tired, and drag a little through the day... but you have no regrets? Thinking of the previous night brings you happiness, or peace.

One of the things for me, I realized, is intimacy with Sir.

Lately, things have just been hard. Sir is stressed, and very anxious. My job gives me a full plate, and then we both add our extracurricular activities, as it were to them. Though we love each other and cuddle and kiss and hang out, sex things just haven't been happening. Long make-out sessions. Lazy weekend cuddles where we don't have to be anywhere. Exploring the body with fingers. Actual sex. Any real kink whatsoever. Just hasn't been happening so much. We'd even spoke about literally penciling it in. I actually keep a private calendar on my phone to document when it does go down, just so I'm more aware. When we spoke, I think we both came to the conclusion that Tuesday night, that was when it was gonna "go down".

Last  Sunday, Sir and I got in late. We were away in New Jersey. We put our things away. We had some food. We exchanged Easter baskets. We took showers and made the bed. I thought it was just time for bedtime.

But Sir made the time and had the patience to take his time. We made out. He ran his hands all over my body. And we engaged in a little dominance and humiliation, which I get embarrassed over, but definitely find hot.

I have a problem with being fingered or receiving oral. It's not that I won't do it, or "allow" it to happen. It just makes me extremely uncomfortable for some reason. Like I'm on display, and that the attention is on me way too much somehow.

Sir decided that he was going to have his fun with me, with his fingers. I was not to move away, or clamp down on his hands to make it stop. I did feel embarrassed and exposed. I sat on my own hands to help me comply. And Sir enjoyed it; this simple act of dominance that required no rope, no props, just him and me submitting to his will.

And with his patience, I eventually got into it, and we had some really fantastic sex afterwards. More showering and cuddling and loveliness.

And it was way past my bedtime when we were done and ready to sleep.

In the morning though... I felt peace. I was tired, sure. But as I sipped my tea driving to work, I could feel myself smiling, replaying the night in my head. I'm glad we didn't have to "pencil it in". I'm glad. I have no regrets. It was worth the lack of sleep.

Thursday, April 05, 2018

Phrasing - Demands vs. Questions

Two weeks ago, Sir went with me to the supermarket. He doesn't usually go with me; it is one of his most hated chores. Our financial division of labor goes such that he pays the rent (and other things), while I pick up the groceries (and other things).

But while I had been back at work for the past two weeks, I wouldn't get a paycheck for another two weeks yet. That makes four weeks, an entire month without getting paid. I simply ran out of money, things got too tight. We knew it was coming. I even put a plan in place so that this hopefully won't happen again next year. But that was the situation now.

So, Sir came with me so he could be my Sugar Daddy and pay for all the groceries, while I picked them out.

When we got back, Sir told me to pull into our driveway. Our driveway fits one car (barely), so one of us always has to park on the street. Sir was leaving that night to go gaming.

"Park in the driveway; it's okay, I'll look for a spot when I get back," he said.

I wasn't having it though.

"No, there's a spot right here, I'll take it so you don't have to look later."

And that's what I did. I parked on the street. We grabbed the groceries and brought them into the house. Sir went out to game. When he got home, he'd have a free driveway so he doesn't have to drive around looking for a spot. The later it is in our neighborhood, the scarcer the parking spots are and farther away he'd have to look.

But it got me to thinking.

While my heart was definitely in the right place; the place of wanting to make his life easier, I outright defied him. I heard him, and then decided: nope, not gonna do that, and then did what I thought was best. Now, this is a minor thing in the grand scheme of things, and I truly believe that it is not on Sir's radar at all. But I could have asked. I could have phrased it differently, and waited to hear his reply. He probably would have decided to have me park on the street had I said something like:

"Are you sure, Sir? There's a spot right here I could take so it would be easier for you later."

Phrasing and mindset are things I've been trying to work on. It's clear I need a lot more work.

Tuesday, April 03, 2018

New Garter Belt and Thigh High - Test 3!

My new "real" garter belt finally came in. I remembered that I still had an Amazon gift card, so I figured I'd take a peek at what they had on there. I chose this one:

Rago Women's Six-Strap Garter Belt

And because of my giftcard, it was essentially free!

My new thigh highs had already come in, so it was time to test. I didn't have anywhere to go until my evening sports practice, so I figured I'd just test them while doing chores around the house.

First, the thigh highs:


They're definitely better than the black ones I tested. The extra lace portion ensures that they are thigh-highs. And it gives an easier area to attach a garter clip. But they are tight! You can see my thighs muffin topping twice in these socks.

Next, getting that garter belt on:

I'm glad so far that I picked this one. It definitely is made of sturdier stuff than the mesh one I first got. It doesn't have hooks at all, so there's no risk of it popping off at the back. I have to slide it on like a skirt. And it is just tight enough that I feel like it will stay up all day. I ordered a 2X. I feel snug and secure in it.

Next are the clips and straps. They're metal! And the button is a nice hard rubber that seems to hold well. When you lift up the strap, there are teeth to hold it in place after you slide it to desired length.

I threw on a random dress and went about  my day.

They stayed at my waist. Check! The clips stayed put. Check!

The only thing I disliked about the garter belt was that it is difficult to put the clips on at the backs of my legs. But I think that is more of a me issue- that I have to get used to doing it, and less of a problem with the garter itself.

I am very optimistic that this can be an everyday garter belt. Still need some better thigh highs, but these will serve. They did feel quite tight at the thigh after awhile. But still, better than the previous black ones! Sir and I  also tried to test it in the cold weather, but the weather didn't cooperate; it was too nice out!

Saturday, March 31, 2018

March Question: Pets

Squeezing in this last question on the last day of the month! Phew! Thank you all for your questions. I'd never participated before and wasn't even sure people HAD questions! It was fun!

Without further ado...

ancilla_ksst asked:

What is the weirdest pet you've ever owned, if any? What is the strangest animal you'd like to have if time/money/space was no object?

Pets. I love animals, as Sir is aware of, much to his chagrin at times.

I think what seems weird to most folks around here is that I've NEVER had a dog. And while I like cats, I've only had two in my whole life (though Sir and I want to get another one once we move). I'd say I'm more of a cat person, as far as "normal" pets go. I consider "normal" pets as cat/dog. Because if you have pets other than those, you usually have to find a special vet to care for them, they're not in the norm.

My very first pet ever was a frog. We named him Jeramaia after the song, though we spelled it differently. And he wasn't a bullfrog. He was some little dwarf frog. He was weird, and didn't want to eat. At all. No matter what we gave him. My mom had some kind of fear of killing our very first pet so she would force feed him Tender Vittles cat food pellets. I'm sure that wasn't good for him.

I realize now that we were ignorant city folk. Ectothermic animals don't have to eat everyday. That poor little fellow. We had him for awhile, and when he passed we went to the nearest woods and buried him. Put a rock over his grave and sharpied a big "J" onto it.

Growing up I had a few goldfish. Some other kind of colorful fish (that ate each other). I've mentioned Sunny, our cute little cockatiel. My dad briefly had a cat when I was a kid. My brother had a hamster for awhile.

When I was in high school, my brother and I each got a guinea pig from my cousins. On the ride home, he decided he didn't want his (and we did not live together at the time). So I got two of them. We were told they were both girls. Since that turned out not to be true, I went from one, to two, to FOUR. I learned how to sex them pretty quickly after that.

I was not the best guinea pig owner, and I think four of them was too much for me. My dad also hated animals with "little creepy feet" as he called it. When I went away to a college couple years later, those same cousins got my little piggies.

I know I've mentioned my amazing little kitty that passed away last year. He was a very special cat that I absolutely adored, and his passing left a huge hole in both my and Sir's hearts. I loved that cat more than I loved a lot of people, even. When we were in NJ we even moved just so we could keep him.

Other than those, I do have a bearded dragon. I had two, but my male passed on several years ago. So I just have a cute little female left. She is very chill and has spent most of the winter hibernating. I hope she comes out of it soon. I poke her now and again to make sure she's alright in there.

I mentioned before that I'd like to get another cat. I've thought about getting a couple of chickens in the past, though we'd have to have a house for that. I like snakes, and birds, and fish and turtles. I'm trying to think of an animal I wouldn't theoretically want to have.

But honestly, and this is huge for me to admit... I think just the cat would be fine. Sir and I are so busy that I sometimes feel that I neglect my lizard a bit. Because she is in her tank and pretty chill and doesn't demand attention. I have to be mindful to make time for her. Whereas my little kitty would come up and demand affection, demand to be fed, cuddle up in your lap... it was easier.

I wouldn't want to take on an animal that I feel I would neglect and feel guilty about. It's not fair to the critter after all.

So hopefully a cat it will be, for me and Sir in the near future!

Friday, March 30, 2018

FFF: 9 is Fine

9 weeks in - Fit for Friday!

I feel better this week, like I'm finally starting to get the hang of this new schedule, sleep deprived and all. I switched back to a black tea in the morning. I think the small amount of caffeine helps. I was doing decaf before. If I have an additional tea, I'll do the decaf then.

Workouts: 4/7 - Not too much this week. I think I did the bare minimum; basically things that I am forced to do. Three sports practices. I don't "have" to do them, but I signed up so it's an obligation to go. Though I'm usually glad to be there. I also snowshoed again on Saturday. We still have snow here!

I am lucky in that I have a very physical job. For work, I often have to do a lot of recreational physical activity. I sometimes think to myself, I can't believe I am getting paid for this right now! Now that I am back at work, these will help with my workout and fitness goals, though.

Seriously considering reducing the sports practices from 3 to 2 a week. Two is the minimum; though I try for 3. Going again on Thursday after going Wednesday and getting up for work at 5:30 was a bit much. My skills suffered for it too; I lost points. We'll see.'

I have been doing squats and other things at work while waiting for the laminator or making copies, etc. I got some strange looks, but whatever.
Eating: 2.5/7 - This was not a great eating week. It was that time of the month for me and I wanted to eat everything in sight. And I did, haha. Workouts helped burn some of it off, thankfully. I finished the brownies I made, had a little sangria party for one. Yesterday I went to Chick-Fil-A. We just got one and I'd never been. I was disappointed. I didn't understand the appeal, and this place was packed! I got nuggets and fries; two fast food staples so I could make easy comparisons. The fries were soggy as were the nuggets. I don't see myself going back. What a waste of calories. The service was fantastic though; maybe that's why people go?

Weight:  Down a pound! I'm not sure how with my half-week eating party. I'll take it though! With the holiday this weekend I don't have high expectations for next week. We'll see.

Stress: I'm... managing. Took more baths this week. Managed to read a little. Meant to do my nails, but didn't get around to it. Maybe today. I made a new "rule" that if it is after 8 pm, I will not pick up the phone or answer text messages. Unless it is Sir, or some kinda life-or-death situation. It's too much. My mother has also relapsed and has taken to calling me completely sloshed in the evenings. I can't deal.

Decluttering: Nope. This is going to have to be my prime focus area. Today, Sir gave me one task and one task only before I leave to visit my uncle: Do the dishes. I did some before breakfast, and I'll get that sink decluttered before I leave today!

Sleep: 4/7 - Two nights over 8 hours. Got to sleep in this morning. One night under 7, the other 5 nights at 7 hours. I feel... okay. A little tired but not exhausted. I could definitely go back to bed though. I am looking forward to sleeping later the next couple of days!

That's it for me here. If you celebrate, I hope you all have a fantastic Easter holiday, or a wonderful Passover with family and friends. I went out last night and got stuff to make Sir a little Easter basket. When we get back Sunday nights, I hope he'll be happy with it! We'll be visiting his mom and sister.

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

March Questions: World's Best

I'm nearing the home stretch! Just one more question to answer after this!

Jz asked:

They've given you a trophy.
"World's Best _______"
What is written in the blank (and why!)?

This was really difficult for me. What would I be the best at? I thought of trite sexy things like World's Best Cocksucker, or World's Best Submissive. But those things don't fit me. There's improvements to be made!

I thought of  maybe an oddball one like:

World's Best at Wearing Two Different Socks to Work.

Or World's Best Cat Cuddler.

But I think the one non-kinky statement that rings true for me right now is:

World's Best Relative.

Not to brag, though it is bragging I guess: you'd want me as part of your family tree. I go above and beyond for my family, often to my own detriment. I would like to say that most people could say the same thing about themselves, but in my family, it is not true. It is not reciprocal.

I spend a lot of time, energy, and financial resources to visit, plan events, and help a lot of my family members. To the point where I am now having to learn to draw boundaries in a healthy way, and it is hard. I feel like a big jerk to say no. But it's what is right. Sir has been a great help.

But I love my family and when push comes to shove, if he wasn't here to help me with those boundaries I'd be off all the time running myself ragged.

I'm very glad I have Sir to keep me in check, though he does still want me to engage with my family of course. On Friday I'm making a special trip to see my uncle. He's like a second father to me, and he's turning 70! I'll stay there for a few days, then meet up with Sir and his family for Easter.

The other one I could think of is "World's Best Hair Bondage Wearer".

I don't see any other women wearing their hair in rope bondage. Ever. 

So just now, I googled "Rope Hair Bondage" just to see what would come up before I make this statement.

There were a couple photos I saw of women like me, interspersed with other non-relevant results.

And then....

One of my own friggen photos comes up in the top results!

So I feel pretty good about the second statement now!

Monday, March 26, 2018

March Questions: Musicals

Fondles asked:

Do you like musicals? And if you do, what's your favorite?

I do like musicals! I think Sir probably likes musicals even more than I do, too!

I grew up in New York City. Broadway was very accessible, and I went to shows starting at a young age. My elementary school even took us to see Cats and the Rockettes (more than once!). My high school also took us to see RENT, and Miss Saigon.

I would go to shows with my family too. We were not well-off. A trip like this was a special treat for a special occasion; something that was saved for. We'd get all dolled up and make a big evening out of it; going to a nice restaurant before or after.

I wouldn't call myself a theatre nerd, or someone who is really into it, though I do enjoy them. A friend of mine makes it a point to see several shows each season, waits outside to get her playbills signed. That is not me. I will go if I have the opportunity. I will give tickets as a very nice gift as well. But my small discretionary income doesn't go solely to live shows, usually. It has been years since I have seen a show on Broadway; certainly before Sir and I moved in together, and that is nearing on four years ago. Though Sir did get me tickets to see the Addams Family Musical when it came to our regional theatre.

That all being said, my favorite musical is Wicked. It was an amazing production visually, a great twist on the classic story, and the soundtrack is fantastic.

A few others I really like: Avenue Q, Dr Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, RENT, Cabaret.

Others I've seen in the past: Cats, Phantom of the Opera, Miss Saigon, Jesus Christ Superstar, In the Heights.

I really want to see: Hamilton, and Kinky Boots.

I haven't seen them live (and some don't have live productions), but I like:

 Hairspray, Rocky Horror, Little Shop of Horrors, Chicago, Les Miz, The Producers, The Wiz, Sweeney Todd, Across the Universe,  Labyrinth, Anastasia, Beauty and the Beast, CAMP, Enchanted, Frozen, Some Like It Hot, Grease, Into the Woods, Victor/Victoria, Refer Madness, The Wedding Singer, Yentl.

I could probably be more into musicals, as I enjoy them. I enjoy the gift of experiences over physical things, and seeing live theatre, especially musical would fit the bill!

Thanks for your question, Fondles!

Friday, March 23, 2018

FFF: Two Months - Eight Weeks In!

It's been 8 weeks since Fit for Friday started. That's two months! Wow, what time has flown! 

This was a good week in general for me. I got to spend more time with Sir. Sir got fantastic news about the job. I gained three points in a skill I'm working on for sports (I need another 6.5 points for this skill, but still, progress!) I got to snowshoe for the first time. And I had a good weigh-in this morning.

Workouts: 3.5/7 -  Sports practice on Sunday and Thursday. Hour long hike last Friday. 2+ hour long hike on Saturday. Snowshoed yesterday.

Eating: 2/7 - This was a week with some extravagances. Saturday was St. Pat's so on my way home from work I picked up Shamrock Shakes and apple pies from McDonald's for Sir and me as a surprise treat. Sunday, Sir took us to Five Guys for date night, then we came home and watched the new Ghostbusters with some ale. Did you know they now have shakes at Five Guys? We got more shakes! Then of course on Wednesday we had our Booze n Brownies extravaganza. The other four days I ate at or below maintenance, and one day I even had over 200 calories left over. It all balanced out because...

Weight: Down 1.6 lbs! 😊 (I'm lower than I was last week, so I guess it wasn't dehydration after all! I'm counting it! I did actually lose 2 lbs last week somehow, haha.) Since FFF started two months ago, I am down 3.6 lbs. I'm down 12.6 lbs since last year. I would like to see more progress, but I am happy with this. I have another 25 lbs to go to get to my first "goal" weight. Which is really a check-in and evaluate weight: Stop here, lose more? Tone up and gain weight/muscle? The problem for me is the holidays it seems. I do pretty well, then holidays happen. Myfitnesspal has a nifty chart that can show you your ups and downs, if you record them!

Stress: 😏 I think I'm doing a little better this week. But having time off on a random Wednesday probably helped. I also did my nails green for St. Pat's day. Taking care of feminine things like that always make me feel better about myself and definitely help with de-stressing. Its maybe an hour out of my week where I pamper myself. And since I'm doing it myself, I don't feel guilty about money, though I'd love to get professional manicures/pedicures.

Starting to chip after a week, but still looking pretty good!

Decluttering: Absolutely not. This is my struggle now that I'm back at work. I can barely keep my house afloat; the bare minimums of dishes and clutter in the living room is too much for me to keep up with on a regular basis. I try when I have nights off, or a day off, but with work, the commute, sports, and the "rest" of my life... this is where I compensate I guess.

Sleep: 4.5/7 I do feel a little more rested this week than last week. 3 days with more than 8 hours. 3 days with over 7 hours. One day at about 5.5 hours (last night, haha). My "sleep debt" is at -45 minutes right now. Last week at this time it was about -5 hours. Which may explain the tiredness I felt last week and the fact that I feel pretty okay right now (Though I do want to go to bed early tonight; tomorrow is another 5:30 AM wakeup).

How are you guys doing after two months? Are you happier? Is your home less cluttered? Are you less stressed? Are you working out more? Are you eating better? Are you getting more quality sleep?

Charting has really helped me think about these, and I think improved me working on them.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Spectacular Snow Day

Yesterday was fantastic.

We got hit by the Nor'Easter. I didn't go into work (with my boss' full approval) and instead worked a little from home. After I realized I wasn't going in, I crawled back into bed to cuddle with Sir for a few more hours. He got a call right as I was getting in bed that his job was completely closed. Score! Snow Day!! Together!!!

We both got up leisurely from our morning cuddle. I went to complete some things for work that I had to get done, and it also made me feel less guilty for staying home (though it was totally the right decision; my coworker spun out and had to get a tow when she tried to go in- she is thankfully okay).

Sir then got a call we'd been hoping for: He got offered a job! He's been interviewing for months to find a job that was A) Anywhere that is NOT his current job because his boss is a Grade-A Douchenozzle, and B) Closer to where I work so we can move and ease our commutes.

This job fits both those things! It's an hour and a half closer to my job!! Once he starts there, his commute will go from 70 minutes to about 45. Then we can move hopefully before this summer, and his commute should go to about a half-hour, and there is even a bus!! Once we move, my commute will go from 90+ minutes to about 30. I am very excited for this potential. I can stop spending literally 3-4 hours of my day, everyday in my freaking car. Squeeee!

Him getting this news was just so fantastic not just for our future but for his whole being. I could see the anxiety, stress, and frustration leeching out of him. There's benefits, and while it is a pay cut, it is enough for us to get by. Plus after moving, we won't be hemorrhaging gas money, either.

This news had Sir on top of his game yesterday too, making sure everything was getting shoveled out. He went out there and would not let me go help! I have been the one doing a lot of the shoveling since he'd been at work. It was a nice refreshing change. I got to revel in him being stereotypically manly, and making him hot chocolate.

He was in such a good mood when he got back in, he brushed and bound my hair while we watched Secretary. We do love that movie! Definitely getting a lot of mileage out of the DVD. This hair binding, though, was particularly weird. He used a very thick rope that I think we've only used once for hair bondage. He had a lot of extra rope, so he double, or even triple bound it in spots. It was very heavy. While it did put me in a submissive space, I don't think it was very aesthetically pleasing.

After the movie, I made us a banging dumpling soup, and then to celebrate our big news we had: Booze n Brownies n BJs Night! We weren't going out in the storm so I made a tin of brownies and we boozed it up while cuddling and hanging out watching John Oliver, haha.

Afterwards, Sir finally got to fully unwind with a nice BJ.

What a truly refreshing and relaxing day!

March Questions: TV Shows and Kinky Things to Try

Daisy asks:

What's your favorite TV show, and what's something you want to try in D/s?

Picking a favorite TV show is so hard for me! Sir and I usually watch TV together after dinner. We're always a few seasons behind our favorites. If I can't pick a favorite show, I can at least pick a favorite genre, which would be Fantasy and Sci-fi.

Some of my current favorites are: Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, Once Upon a Time, Fullmetal Alchemist, Shadowhunters, and The 100.

These are shows that I actually watch for the plot and the escapism. I also like things like Chopped, Property Brothers, and Stand-up Comedy. I don't really watch those for the plot, though!

As far as something to try in D/s... I can think of two.

One, is practicing our D/s more regularly. Sir and I had and have had multiple conversations on this. When he is not his best self, D/s goes out the window. He doesn't put the time or effort into it at all and it is extremely frustrating. Because I am still submitting. Following the rules and serving him. But I need more to be fulfilled, especially sexually. There are some women who are on and ready at the drop of a dime. I am not one of those women, and sometimes I wish I was. It is really frustrating. I need more. I need the mental component. I need anticipation and build-up and mental dominance. Throwing me down on the bed and spanking me won't always do it for me. I like it, sure. But without that mental component, I am not ready to take it to a sexual level. The physical without the mental seems so contrived to me that I find it really difficult to get into it. It's the same old routine each time, and I end up feeling like Sir is only doing certain physical things to try and get me horny, which makes me even less horny, if that makes sense. I would like him to plan a little more in advance so his dick isn't the only one in charge.

The other is knife play. There have been a few instances where a scissor, or wire cutters, or some kind of sharp edge has come out in the past year or so and I've been very very intrigued by it. I am thinking more and more about a real blade, feeling it across my skin and such. The potential mindfuck of knowing he could harm me, but also knowing he probably won't. But he could... The submission in opening myself up to him, being vulnerable to him in that way. I don't know if I want to be cut, exactly, but the thrill of knowing it could happen... that is what is on my mind.

Thanks for the questions, Daisy!

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

March Questions: When Did You Know You Were Kinky? First Kink Relationship?

Trying to get these questions answered before the end of March (not sure if that will happen, but I do promise to answer them all)!

I have two questions to answer today (they both kind of related to one another).

Olivia asked:

When did you first know you were kinky - what happened that made you recognize it? Is there a story to tell?

Amy asked:

Is this your first relationship like this, or were there others beforehand? How did the very first one come about?

For me, kink wasn't something I was always fully aware of. There are those people who always knew that they were different; that their wants/needs were out of the societal norm, so to speak. I was not that way.

I cover a little of this in my first post on this blog ever: A Bit of Backstory. I wrote this post before I had really started dating Sir (though we were already "talking" at that time).

I'd  had a string of failed relationships, with mostly good guys. But time and time again, they just didn't work for me. I have an outgoing, dominant personality, which I worked hard to cultivate, and is hard to let go of, now. I am typically confident and like to get shit done. And the men I was dating... well not so much. And there was always something lacking for me, something left to be desired.

The first guy I ever dated was a dreamer. Head in the clouds, kinda unrealistic. Never grew up. And I, well I did. Grow up. I see that I ran a little roughshod over him now, I was kind of the boss. We did a few kinky things, here or there in our 2.5 years together. Never anything consistent.

There was a guy after this fellow that I... engaged with... I'm not quite sure what the hell to call it, to this day. We were not in a romantic relationship. I cared for him deeply. I am not quite sure that I don't still care for this guy deeply, though I haven't seen/spoken to this guy for years (Sir is quite aware of this, just for context). It is clear to me now that he was definitely into D/s. And a lot of our interactions opened up this side of me that I didn't really know existed. I liked to give him power. I liked to please him. But he was a sociopath, and ultimately I couldn't trust him and I was damaging my own mental health. So I "broke up" with him. Which was strange and awkward because he made it clear that he was not my boyfriend. So I ended our friendship, effectively. But I never got over it, and I don't know if I ever fully will. I had a dream about this guy last night, in fact. What timing.

The next guy was an artist. But didn't really have his shit together; he still doesn't, though I care for him as a friend to this day. He was a little kinky; liked rough sex. The first time we were together I had such bruises (that I enjoyed), that when a friend accidentally saw them she was shocked, to say the least.

The man after that was someone I knew since I was 12 (and he was 13). He had a high libido and an interest in anal, but other than that, pretty vanilla. But again, still floundering in life. I helped him as much as I could, but didn't think we had a future together.

The last man (this is the last man I dated before Sir) was someone who kinda had his life together. Our first sexual encounter had him being very dominant, very physical. I found I really liked this. He was ultimately a cheating asshole, who broke up with me because I had "trust issues".

With each of these men, there were times they behaved dominantly, and I was always very very into this. I always wanted more, but didn't know how to get it. With each of these men, I also recognized that most of them didn't have their shit together, and I often had to boss them around, help them with their life. Which I hated. There is something very sexy about a man who has it together, or who is very self-motivated to work towards his goals.

So after that last failed relationship, I really started thinking about what I liked and disliked. I think it was around this time I quite literally stumbled onto some BDSM fiction stories. I was googling Harry Potter stuff, of all things, and a fanfic came up in the search list that was very adult in nature. I read it; it spoke to me. I started thinking more and more about a relationship like that; a real one with trust.  I would say the relationship I had with the man I was NOT dating was probably the closest thing before Sir. I started doing research and reading online. And I spent time on dating sites looking to see if there were men out there into this sort of thing. There were. Oh, there were.

I went on a few very awkward dates. Then, Sir contacted me. He was polite. He understood grammar and punctuation. He spent a lot of time talking to me (an entire month) before suggesting we meet. When we did meet, he was an absolute gentleman. We went on four dates before he even kissed me (on the cheek!). He took time to get to know me. We talked about our vanilla lives, and our kinky interests. We filled out BDSM checklists together. And we just kept on seeing each other.

Seven years later, here we are. Most of my BDSM experiences are with Sir, barring the very few things I tried with the men I dated before him. I find that the more we try and the longer we're together, the more my tastes evolve. Over time, I have recognized that I was probably always into bondage, but I didn't know it. I liked being in confined spaces. I liked being tied, and would fiddle and tie myself with my dress strings, etc. I always kind of liked a little pain. I liked not being in control. Most of my fantasies involved a man being in control of me; telling me what to do, etc.

So for me, it was a slow awakening that took years! I started dating Sir and really exploring this head-on when I was 27. I realize there are folks that come to this way later in life, and I am thankful that I found this earlier on. It has fulfilled me in such a deep way. My relationship with Sir is so much more intimate, honest, and open because of BDSM. I don't think I could be in a purely vanilla relationship again.

I hope this answers the questions, Olivia and Amy! 

Monday, March 19, 2018

If All Else Fails...

I was a bit cranky this morning.

When I am cranky, I usually need one of two things: carbs or caffeine. I mentioned this to Sir. He agreed.

"Yeah, when you're cranky, I just gotta shove something in your face... a ball gag if necessary."

"If all else fails, use ball gag?"


Friday, March 16, 2018

FFF: Seventh Inning Stretch

Fit for Friday today. Starting this post after work rather than right when I start my day seems odd to me now. But here it is!

I feel like I handled this week pretty well. Maybe this is me starting to get into the groove of things. I do feel really tired, though. Need more sleep. And I don't have the time to declutter; it's all I can do to barely maintain the house right now. But I am okay with that.

Workouts:4/7  Two sports practices out of three, did Sunday and Wednesday. I skipped Thursday because I was so tired and cranky. We're only required to do two a week, but I try to go for three. Not sure if I can handle it with working and having to be up early. I went to bed at 12:30 AM on Wed, and had to be up at 5:30 AM... that is not sustainable. Did calisthenics on Monday. HIIT workout on Tuesday.

Eating: 4/7  I ate under my goal for three days, and under maintenance the rest of the days. I feel I did pretty well!

Weight: Down 1.2 lbs! 😊 (I'm actually down 2.2 lbs, but I think some of it was a bit of dehydration, so I didn't want to over-count it.

Stress: 😐 I am still a little stressed, but managing better than last week. I need to make choices to keep myself calm, and sleep plays huge into how I feel and how I'm able to handle things.

Decluttering: Nooooooooope. And The house needs some work. Clothes on the bathroom floor, sink FULL of dishes, too.

Sleep: 2/7  I only got two nights with 8 or more hours of sleep. I know I said my initial goal was 7 hours, but I'm finding that I had 4 nights with 7 (and one with 6) (and one with over 10, and another with 8 on the nose), and I still feel exhausted. If I need 8 hours to function well, and I get 7 each night, by the end of the week that is a deficit of 7 hours! So I really need to be aiming for 8. Last night I had an irrational sleep-deprived breakdown. I couldn't take it, I was so mad and so overtired that I couldn't nap, even. So I really have to figure out how to get eight hours. I don't know how people with kids do it; I don't have children, and between my job, and sports, I feel so very tired. I can't imagine having to handle little ones too. I am feeling judged by others for "being tired" when I don't have kids. Its probably in my head though.

I have to work tomorrow, but I go in late so I can sleep in. I don't have to go anywhere tonight, so as soon as Sir gets home we can hang out! I definitely feel like we're just passing in the night the past few weeks. We live together and don't see each other as much with our schedules conflicting.

You guys are doing so well! Keep at it!

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Favorite Toys

For Q & A  month, Roz asked if I had a favorite implement. Funnily enough, I had already nearly finished writing the following:

Do you have a favorite in your kink toybag? If so, what is it? Why does it appeal to you?

I think I have two favorites. One, is the spreader bar that Sir made.  He made three different sizes, but for my legs, the longest is my favorite. I suppose it is my favorite for how it makes me feel. There's something about being forced to be spread eagle, out on display that just does it for me.

The other is this flogger:

It's beautiful. Just lovely to look at, in a way that a lot of our other toys aren't. I so enjoy the impact it provides. It gives more of an intense thud than a sting, but I find I can take it longer. 

It's versatile. Besides the impact, the falls make for great tickling. And that handle. It's smooth against the skin, held to the throat, or sensuously slid down the spine. And the metal holds temperature - usually, cold. It can cool a burning ass, or perk up a nipple. 

What are some of  your favorite toys?

Saturday, March 10, 2018

March Questions: Movies & Memories

I was really pleasantly surprised to see that I actually had questions for Question and Answer month! I've been blogging here for about 7 years now, and I've never participated before.

My first two questions come from Roz (she actually asked three, but I already have half a post in my draft folder pertaining to her third question that I will finish up!)

"What is your favorite movie? Favorite childhood memory?"

Movies! That's a hard one for me. I don't think I have a single favorite. But you know you have those movies, that anytime you see them on TV or at a friends home you just have to stop what you're doing to finish watching them? I have a few like that. I'll pick two of them, so we won't be here all day, haha.


The entire Harry Potter film series. I loved when Freeform/ABC Family had their Harry Potter weekends. I first got into Harry Potter in 2002. The first four books were out, but I was already an adult. I didn't think those books/movies were "for me". Then, HBO had the first HP movie on. I caught it almost from the beginning and I was HOOKED! I even got out the TV Guide to see when it would be playing again, just so I could tape it. I watched that tape so many times. Shortly thereafter, the second movie came out in theatres. I went to see it with my then-boyfriend, and loved that one even more. I got the first four books that Christmas, and the rest is history. I really adore that first movie for getting me into that world, and for helping me to acknowledge my geeky side. I am a huge part of the HP fandom, to this day. A cosplay-making, convention-going fan!


The other movie I'll list is Where the Heart Is. I don't know what it was about that movie, but I adored it; this coming-of-age tale filled with overcoming struggle. It just spoke to me. Any time that movie is on, I will stop what I am doing to watch it. I've never read the book though!

Memory: I had an interesting childhood. There were good times and bad times. Love and struggle. My parents were mostly good people, but they had their faults and there was some really bad shit that went down when I was growing up. My mom is a manic-depressive alcoholic, who raised me and my brother essentially on her own (though my dad was always around and helping as much as he could) until I was 14. Things got crazy, living with her, but she always tried really hard. I remember there was a summer when I was 11 going on twelve. She wanted us to get away from all our crazy problems. Her brother had just passed away from AIDS. Her and my father had separated years ago, but had an on-again off-again thing going. And it was off-again and my dad was parading around his new girlfriend to her neighbors next door. Cause she wouldn't see that or anything. Things were just stressful. 

Somehow on her limited government assistance budget, she rented us a small run-down bungalow in Queens. Right next to Rockaway Beach, a two block walk. It was the shittiest little shack ever, but we loved it. The shower was outside. There were "worms" in the drinking water. The entire inside was unfinished exposed wood, pipes, etc. It was rickety, and dark, and creaky. When the remnants of Hurricane Floyd came through, I remember huddling with my brother as the lights flickered on and off, and the old window panes rattled. The sound was deafening! In the morning, the beach was GONE. There was part of the boardwalk, and then water. No sand. No beach. It took years to rebuild. 

I look back on that summer as one of the happiest ones of my life, though. We went to the beach everyday. We swam, and boarded, and made sandcastles. We made friends with other kids who lived in their own little run-down shacks nearby. We'd eat bologna sandwiches that always seemed to have a little sand in them on the beach for lunch. At night, we'd bundle up and walk the boardwalk, looking at the moon. We'd run after the ice cream truck at dusk. My mom even let us bring our bird, a little cockatiel. Many mornings, she'd get us up when it was still dark, and we'd bring Sunny, our bird, cage and all out to the beach. We'd climb up on the lifeguard towers, Sunny between us, and watch the sunrise. Watch the sandpipers flit out to grab clams and sand crabs, and then flee hilariously as the two-inch tide would roll in. There are so many funny (and not-so-funny) stories from that summer that my family still tells all the time, to this day. But I remember my mom, trying really hard to give us a good summer. Away from our questionable neighborhood, away from real life, and the heat. For one summer, I felt like we were the richest kids on earth - sun, and sand, and fun everyday.

This is one of the very few pictures I have from that summer. My family didn't have a camera, I don't think.
 But my uncle came to visit with his and took a few shots. This is from me and him on the boardwalk at sunset

The beach is my absolute favorite place ever since. Doesn't really matter what beach. If there's sand and some waves, I am a happy chick.

Thank you for the questions, Roz!

Friday, March 09, 2018

FFF: Struggle in the Sixth Week

Another Fit for Friday is here! I made it through the week somehow, hurrah!

This was a rough week for me. I started back at my "real"  job on Saturday (I work super part-time at another job in the winter). The first day was pretty intense, we had a big event that required a lot of physical activity. And then... just getting used to it all again. The 5:30 AM wakeup, the 1.5 hour drive each way, managing the rest of my life in a very small window of time. Throwing sports practice into the mix, being sick... I definitely don't have it figured out. I am exhausted and hoping that another week or two will have me feeling "normal" again.

I am off today, though! So I am going to use this day as much as possible to do the little things I couldn't all week, and relax a bit. I'm going to dye my hair. Do my nails. Take a long hot shower. Catch up on all your blogs! Do some core exercises. Play some video games. Maybe write a bit here, even.

Onto my week. I'm not expecting much, honestly.

Workouts: 😞 I did not work out at all. I did literally drag myself to two sports practices. I skipped out on one this week, and one last week! I'm tired and still sick. Going to practice on Wednesday was a real struggle. I felt awful and that I went backwards in progress, even.

Eating: 😏 Apparently I didn't even log food last Friday, so it must have been bad! I have no idea what I ate that day. In general ate more this week than I have been, either at or slightly under maintenance. I find myself hungry at work and I'm not used to the schedule yet. I see myself adjusting and eating a little less and a little less each day as the week went on though! At least I was mostly under maintenance, so I will take it for this week! I have to figure out how to pack  healthy filling snacks so I'm not hitting the candy bowl. I pack snacks, I'm just still hungry.

Weight: 😊 Down 0.8 from last week. That is great! I do feel like the past few weeks I've been hovering though. I'm currently 177.0 lbs. If I could get to 175 and continue from there, I think I'd feel like I'm making progress. I've been going from 176ish to 178ish for the past few weeks. Ups and downs.

Stress: 😵I am stressed. Lots of new change, A LOT of new responsibilities at work... I'm essentially being trained for another position, but really just throwing myself in there. But right now, I still have my current position. So, I'm doing both jobs. It will probably work out fine, but I'm anxious because of it. That plus lack of sleep and I am a bit frazzled.

Decluttering: 😐  Hahahaha. It was all I could do this week just to keep our daily messes contained! I think I did that, more or less, but didn't have time to work on focused areas. I want to get to reorganizing the bathroom shelves and medicine cabinet. Eventually. Next week, maybe? 

Sleep: 3.5/7 Three nights I managed to sleep about 8 hours or more. One night I managed 7. The other three nights, was a bit less than 6 hours. I need to work on this. Having sports practice on a worknight is hard. I get to bed around midnight, and have to be up around 5:30 am. Six o'clock if I really rush myself and have most things ready the night before. Last night I was able to take a nap before practice, for about a half hour. Not sure if it helped.

I was so tired getting in last night that I forgot to put my collar on before hopping into bed. Sir said he was going to punish me, except I have to leave for the dentist in about ten minutes.

What I'm looking forward to the next couple of days: Sleeping in. And cuddling with Sir. If he doesn't change his mind and punish me first.

I hope you all have a fantastic week-end and a great week!
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