Married!

 2020 was a heck of a year, and a lot of it was awful even without Covid gumming up the works.  I think it's best to just move on. Goodness.

But Sir and I kicked off 2021 in a HUGE way. We got married on our 10th Anniversary! Finally!

Sir is not only the Dominant, he is the Husband! I am not only the submissive, but I am the wife!

It is surreal. The entire ordeal was really stressful, and the week leading up to it ranks pretty high up there with the worst experiences of my life. All the things we had to go through just to get to this moment... Plus, my family is just awful sometimes... I just can't. His was not helping, either. This was not just normal wedding stress... sometimes it feels like these people go out of their way to make shit more difficult than it has to be. I asked my maids of honor, who are both married and they confirmed that what I was dealing with was above normal. I wish it weren't, but it can be nice to be validated sometimes.

I started going to therapy for the first time this past year to help myself navigate this mess and stand up for myself, but as one of my friends said, this was like being dumped into the final boss battle of boundaries and skipping all the other levels and power-ups along the way. I couldn't handle it properly and ended up doing everything for everyone else when I needed to be getting things done for and focusing on us. I am salty, but I am trying to let it go and focus on the good things.

Once I was walking down that aisle, everything did melt away. It was just me and Sir. With about a week's distance from the event, I can finally start to release the awful parts and embrace the good parts. And process that it is real. It DID happen. I can start to be excited!

We got hitched in a simple but lovely ceremony with just 10 people in attendance - our immediate families plus the maids of honor and best men. The minister was just perfect in representing us.  We are hoping to plan a "Part II" next year and have an actual reception with all our loved ones and the customary traditions. We pretty much got married, then had a quick dinner to thank those that stood up for us this year, and bounced.

 We are wed!

We honestly passed out on our wedding night - all the stress and sleeplessness catching up with us. But after our families left the next day we were able to have a good wedding weekend. We were able to celebrate each other properly with a 'wedding night', and reinforce the D/s side of things in our relationship. It was reassuring to me - just because we are married, that part of us is not gone! After 10 years, we are still surprising each other, still experiencing new things. Sir did things to me on my wedding night I'd never experienced before. He also made sure I knew who I belong to. It makes me love him all the more. 

And I still want to be Sir's submissive, more than ever.

Submissive wife now! <3

Betrothed

We went away this weekend to visit friends in another state.

While we were away - Sir asked me to marry him! Of course, I said YES!

He got down on one knee in a semi-secluded treehouse. It was perfect.

He'd been plotting for a bit, with my friends' help.

I had no idea, and was just so shocked that my first response was "Are you serious?!"

I didn't understand what he was doing down there.

I got hold of my senses and said of course and jumped down into his arms, nearly bowling him over.

Its been a couple of days and I'm just so... shocked. But in a happy way!

Sir put a ring on it!

We're Home, Finally!

This long post is long.

We're finally here in our new apartment, moving in July 1st! We have the first floor and basement of a cute rowhome. We didn't have internet for the past two weeks, though, because the genius who lived here before us cut the wire for some reason. We had to get a technician out here to rewire the house, at our cost. But they only work Monday - Friday, and we work too. We had to wait until I had a random weekday off so I could be here for the technician. Who would arrive anywhere from 8 am to 5 pm. I got lucky yesterday and they got here just after noon, so I was able to get stuff done on my day off. And now we're connected!

The place is cute, or it will be once we can unbury it from the boxes. We have been unpacking a little every night after work, and we do what we can on our days off, but it will take time. This place is bigger than our last one, so we will need to buy some more furniture too. All in good time.

I'm glad for this new chapter of our lives. My commute went from 1.5 - 2 hours each way, to about 20-25 minutes. I am actually getting proper sleep every night! We get so much done, that when I ask Sir what time it is, it's always early, like 7 pm. I'm not used to that! I'm also not used to having central air. We've been using it during the heat wave, but I also fear the cost; I'm sure our electric bill is going to make me hyperventilate. We have a dishwasher too! I've never had one before. It's a little one, but it's still a dishwasher. I'm not sure if I'm loading it "correctly" but it is neat to have. We'll figure all these new luxuries out with time.

The past few weeks have been really hard, but things are getting better. I definitely feel like June was the month of "if it can go wrong it will". Nothing was easy. A few updates:

My knee is still healing. It is making progress, but at what feels like a glacial pace right now. I just started physical therapy, and I have a real fear that it is not going to heal sufficiently for me to be fully functional at work, or to go back to my sport!

I was able to get a new (to me) car! It was a bit of an ordeal, since my loan company never sent me my title when I paid my previous car off. And because I needed the title NOW, and not 30 days later (since we were moving and I couldn't leave my defunct car there), I had to pay to get my title, driving two two DMV locations (one 45 minutes away!), even though it wasn't my fault. 

My mom did help me out with the down payment for it though, bless her, since our savings were/are locked into moving. Once I got it, I had a hangup with one of the tires. It had a slow leak. I brought it back to the dealer who "fixed it" for free, but it still had a problem. So I ended up having to buy a brand new freaking tire 11 days after getting this car. Ugh. I don't think it was the dealers fault, I don't think they did anything to it. It was just my crappy luck.

I was able to see my grandmother before she passed away. I had a Thursday off, so I got up really early, and walked about 2 miles to a car rental place. My knee took it pretty well. A bit twingey, but it was mostly flat, so that was good. Then I drove about 3 hours to my Aunt's house. My grandmother was basically comatose by then. But she knew I was there. At one point she did open her eyes, looked at me, and said my name. She passed away two days later. Saying goodbye to her before leaving my Aunt's was extremely hard; knowing that it was likely for the last time. I am so glad I was able to see her one last time; it was the right decision.

The funeral was nice; as far as those sorts of occasions go. My family was being pretty difficult about it though. My mom refused to talk to my aunt (who was making the arrangements) because she didn't want to "stress her out", but she was going around trying to make her own arrangements and since she is computer illiterate, I was making them for her. A bunch of my family does not drive, my mom and brother included, and she wasn't sure how they were going to get to the cemetery from the funeral home. I'd drive them, but I couldn't fit them all. I spent a lot of time looking things up for her. My mom wanted to rent a limo. I let her know that would be very expensive, and suggested we rent a minivan instead. When I gave her the cost of the minivan, she freaked out, saying it was way too pricey... um, the limo would be much more than that - what are you thinking? After all that, my aunt who was making the arrangements figured it out, and it was all unnecessary. My mom also fought me over getting flowers for the service. I told her that her mom didn't want flowers; she wanted donations to a special organization. I ended up getting the flowers to make my mom happy, and was berated about it at the funeral later. During the few days I was back in NY for the service, my brother was being a complete ass. He showed up to the first day late, and drunk. When we went back to my moms he stayed up literally all night drinking and snorting pills. I got 30 mins of sleep. I got up, got my mom ready, and tried to get him up too. But he was completely non-functional, puking and what not. I had to leave him there. I told him the day before that I was leaving when I was leaving and if he wasn't ready, he was going to get left behind. I wasn't going to let my mom be late for her own mother's funeral. He was surprised, asking me if I thought this would happen. Well, yes. This is what he does. So we left him. I get a bunch of crying voicemails from him. Messages from his wife, too. He feels terrible, etc. Like, what do you want me to do now? I told him that it was up to him, I just don't want him to have any regrets later. He shows up abruptly at the church 5 minutes before the service started. I had to do readings for the mass, and then there was communion. When I got back to my seat from communion, he was gone. Just up and left in the middle of service. I guess he couldn't handle it, but then everyone is going to my mom, like "where's your son?" We drove up to the cemetery without him. And since he didn't go, I had room for my mom, uncle, and aunt in the back of Sir's car, so we drove them home. I was asked if I was going to stay at my mom's an additional night (since I was taking off work the next day). No.... thank you. I want to go home and leave this craziness. I know we're all grieving but some people don't think about anyone but themselves, it seems like.

The day I was leaving for my grandmother's wake, one of my cousins tries to hit me up for money. I was thinking, I am moving in 2 weeks, I don't have a car, I can't even walk with my knee, and my grandmother just passed. I wasn't sure if she knew all of that, but she did, and she asked anyway, which was really ballsy of her. I initially thought, I am not going to help her. But then I thought to myself, "What would your dad do?"... and he would help. So I offered to give her $20. I asked her for her Paypal. Nope, she doesn't have one. Bank account? Nope, doesn't have that either. Western Union? Well... that's a really far walk, she said.

Like, bitch, do you need this money or not? Cause even if I had a car, I wouldn't drive 2 freaking hours each way to loan *you* money. How are you going to ask me for money with no plan on how you were going to receive it? I truly believe she expected me to drive the 2 hours... I told her I was leaving for the wake in 2 hours, and if she had a plan call me back. She didn't.

There's a bunch of other crazy shit going on with her addict sister that I'm not even going to get into.

All in all, I'm glad June is over, and I feel like I need a vacation. A few days of sun and sand, perhaps. Maybe Sir and I can take a weekend trip? I hope so.

Speaking of Sir, he's beckoning to me from the other end of the apartment. He wants to christen the house in the best way we know how!!

Injury Update

I've been a little MIA lately, and I expect that will be the norm for the next several weeks until we move and are settled into the new place. There's just... a lot.

I ended up really injuring my knee. My hamstring tendon is torn. I'm wearing a brace, and I'm on light duty at work. I can't walk for extended periods of time, and sports practice is definitely out. I'm still going, but I'm just observing now. Its the worst timing too; I have nearly met all my requirements to join the actual team, and this is going to set me back, by months probably. Sir and I are also trying to pack to get ready for the move, and my injury is definitely not helping.

I have a long commute to work and driving in my car hurts. Plus, it is causing strain at work as we try to figure out how to have other people balance the physical responsibilities I cannot do right now. Everyone has been very understanding about it; I just feel terrible.

I am picking up Sir from work in a little bit, and then he is going to drive us to NY (so I can rest my knee). It is my mom's 60th birthday tomorrow. My brother and I chipped in to get her a new computer. She has been without a real computer for a couple of years now. We got her a tablet, but she hasn't taken to it. She's just not used to it, I guess. So I hope she'll be more comfortable with the new technology. We tried to pick things that would be as familiar to her as possible. I don't consider my mom to be old, but she has always been what she calls an "electronic nightmare". She doesn't take to technology well. Conversely, my 81 year old grandmother is pretty tech savvy! I guess it skipped my mom.

Tomorrow we're going to surprise her with Red Lobster and a cake. My mom broke her back last month and while she isn't paralyzed, she isn't very mobile while she is healing. She had "a procedure" on her spine last Friday (she refuses to call it surgery), and hopefully she can start healing, but it is going to take time. So we are going to bring the party to her. Red Lobster has an online to-go ordering system. I'm going to tell her that I'm picking up my brother, and while I am going to do that, we'll swing by the restaurant to pick up her surprise food and get a little cake.

Tomorrow night, Sir and I are going to a fancy get-together for his family. His aunt and uncle are celebrating 50 years of marriage! I always enjoy getting all dolled up with Sir. It will be nice to schmooze with his extended family too; I definitely feel like we don't do that enough.

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

FFF 15 - On Time with Good News!

Fit for Friday!!! I'm liking FFF not only for the health challenge, but this has become where I've started doing my "regular life" updates each week as well.

Great news this week. Sir and I got the apartment we applied for!

We'll be moving in July, less than 2 months away! We're very excited. And now, we have a LOT of packing to do.

In other news I screwed my knee up on Saturday.  Finally got to the Doctor today, it's likely sprained. If it doesn't start to heal in the next 4 days, then it might be torn, and I'll need an MRI. I really hope it starts to heal. I have a very active job which isn't helping, and I can't play my sport like this.

I hope it starts healing so I can get back into the swing of things.

Workouts: 3/7 - Two sports practices. Lots of walking and physical activity at work. My knee made it difficult to do more.

Eating: 3/7 - Three decent days. I went out with the girls after practice and made some poor life choices on Wednesday. The rest of the days I threw myself a bit of an eating party. Its how I cope with stress, pain, and PMSing.

Weight: ⚖ Maintained this week. I'll take it!

Stress: 👎 It's been a bit rough at work, and with my knee. 

Decluttering: 👎 None really this week. But now that we have a place I expect there to be much purging and packing! I'm off on Monday, I expect to start then.

Sleep: 5.5/7 - 👍 Did great this week, totally made up for last week. Just gotta try to keep it up. Wednesday I didn't do too hot, staying out till about 1 am, then going to work, but the other days

FFF: 14 - Late; Life Asplode

Super late with my Fit for Friday. It is Sunday night right now, ha. Better late than never, though!

Life has been crazy this week. I worked overtime 4/5 of my work days. I went to sports practice three days this week, plus I volunteered at our game last night. Sir and I are also apartment hunting, contacting people and doing showings and whatnot. We think we have found a suitable one. We're meeting this Tuesday to apply - keep your fingers crossed! I can't wait for it to be July, and for life to be just... less. This is not the kind of asplode we need. We need this kind:

One of the few downsides to the place we want is we can't get a cat. But we also don't have to be there forever, either. Onto this past week!

If you haven't checked in with Fondles for Fit for Friday, do so! 

Apparently I am not the only late one this week!!

Workouts: 5/7 - Three sports practices. Did an interval running thing with Sir tonight, then we finished that up with a walk. On Monday, we went out for dinner and had a longer walk to and from the restaurant. I love living in a walkable area! I was also pretty active with work and volunteering, though I didn't count them as specific workouts.

Eating: 1.5/7 - I logged, but between getting brunch with a friend, movie popcorn with Sir, pizza Sir got cause I left out the taco meat all day and went to work (he is awesome by the way, no complaints about the pizza), and eating fast food out while we were apartment hunting, I definitely overdid it. But increased activity must have balanced it out.

Weight:  👍 Down 1.2 lbs! Starting to lose the stuff I gained while I was away. I'm still higher than where I need to be. I go up, I go down, like a yoyo, but I keep gaining and losing the same 2 - 3 lbs. My next breakthrough, I feel will be getting to 172, then lower!!

Stress: 👎This has been a crazy week. Sir and I are both feeling it.

Decluttering: 👍Though my house is a total wreck and every dish we own needs to be washed (tomorrow!), we did donate our cat stuff to the local pet pantry. Out went his litter box, litter mat, food and water dish, food mat, cat scratcher, toys and balls, fur brush, pet carrier, and fancy water fountain. It was actually more stuff than we realized, and I'm not convinced there's not more down there (I know we bought him a bed). My heart is a little heavy with giving it away. I miss my little furball. And though we want another kitty, I wondered if it would be weird (for us, kitty won't care) for new kitty to be using old kitty's stuff. It is a moot point though; we figured that we're not going to be able to get another cat for awhile, plus we don't want to pack it up when we move. So out it goes. And it's a good cause!

Sleep: 3/7 - Definitely feeling sleep deprived. With everything going on, there were quite a few nights with about 6 hours. That is not sufficient for me. At the end of this week I was at a 9+ hour deficit (my sleep app tracks that). Hopefully I can "catch up", though that's not really how it works.

Hope you all had a good week. I'll try to get around and play catch up with you soon!

FFF: Mean Thirteen

 Fit for Friday!

I'm back from my work trip. It was a good trip, and I feel I learned a lot. I definitely did not work out much, and I overindulged on the food. But I feel that life is meant to be enjoyed in moments like these, and as long as you don't make it an everyday habit, indulge a little. Getting back to the healthier routine today!

Sir is over the moon that I am back. We took a little evening walk last night and reveled in each other's company. I'm glad to be back too. Onto the recap!

Workouts: 1/7 - No sports. I barely worked out during the business trip. I got to swim for about ten minutes one night before a hoard of noisy teenagers overtook the pool.

Eating: 0/7 - I didn't even log it. They had some nice catering for the meeting, and we were going out to neat restaurants and meeting up at bars to drink heavily network. Back on the horse this week though!

Weight: Gained 1.6 lbs. I'm not feeling bad about it though, I expected it. It's okay as long as I start anew today.

Stress: I was away and enjoying myself. I have a three-day weekend right now. Life is good at the moment, haha.

Decluttering: Definitely not. Maybe this weekend!

Sleep: 4.5/7 - Not bad for this week! Had trouble getting to bed last night, and one night at the meeting there was a truck backing up so loudly and I was up a few hours early. But other than that, sleep was good!

I feel almost safe to say that spring has sprung here. It's wet and rainy, but the temperatures are good! Hope you get to go out and enjoy it!!

Work Stuff and More Garter Testing 4 - In the "Cold"

I am happily on my business trip. So far, it has been pretty good, except for missing Sir. We did a puzzle room as a teambuilding exercise, then went to dinner at this historic tavern, where everyone was dressed up like it was the mid-1800s and the food was fantastic. The sessions today were really informative and well done. And they gave us tacos for lunch!!

One thing that I find interesting is how people dress here. Normally, we all wear uniforms to work. But at this meeting we can dress casually. I am 95% sure I am the only person wearing a skirt today. I am on a break right now, but we're meeting again in a bit and I am going to look around a little more closely. Thinking of skirts is making me think of the most recent "Garter Testing" that Sir and I did a few weeks ago.

So, Sir and I went out to run errands. I was being grumpy and didn't want to go. But I sucked it up and thought, this might be a good time to try and test the garter belt and socks outdoors in cold weather.

Sir checked the weather and it said it was 39 degrees. Not bad, good enough for a test in the cold, we thought.

I feel like I looked pretty presentable. Just an everyday woman running errands. You couldn't tell what was underneath. And it looked to me like a normal outfit I'd wear outside.

Sir and I went to his doctor's appointment. Then we stopped to pick up his prescriptions. Then we went to Best Buy to get a flash drive, and look at replacing his tablet.

The garter belt is fine. Very comfortable. Stays where it should. I'm really quite happy with it. The socks... while they stayed up, again they are just a bit too tight in the thigh. As time went on they were getting more and more uncomfortable. When I got home I couldn't wait to get them off!

As for testing in the cold... well it warmed up. It was 50 degrees! I even took my coat off. I was very comfortable wearing these in terms of warmth at 50... not sure again how it would hold up to colder temps.I could feel a breeze around my upper thighs, but on a day like today, it was pleasant. I enjoyed it. If it were colder... I think I will need a slip and much longer skirts to be warm in those colder temps. More wardrobe to acquire!

So while I am not wearing those garters today (I have leggings on underneath my skirt), it is something to think about. Maybe this time next year at this meeting, I won't have leggings; I'll have my thigh-highs and garters!!

It actually makes me a little nervous; being "that person". Because what if they are seen... what will my coworkers think? Will it affect my employment somehow?

Just little thoughts of paranoia. I could also get a longer skirt to be sure they won't be seen, too!! Only time will tell what will happen, though. Except getting rid of the leggings. Sir's already decreed that, so it will happen!

FFF Twelve

Squeezing in Fit for Friday!

Really crazy busy this week. Sir started his new job. We're apartment hunting. Work issues causing me to stay late. Volunteering, too. I'm gonna do a quick update so I can maybe get to bed before midnight!

Workouts: 3/7 - Two sports practices, and a lot of hiking at work.

Eating: 2.5/7 - went to a conference on Saturday and ate whatever. Had some very snacky evenings.

Weight: Lost 0.8 lbs! :)

Stress: This week was tougher with change and work stress, but today was good. Slept in. Watched a movie with Sir. Got ice cream. Did some yardwork. Went to a fancy gala tonight.

Decluttering: I think the yard work counts! Sir and I took a huge bucket of sticks to the town compost park. I pulled weeds and got rid of the evergreens I had up for winter ( which were not so green anymore).

Sleep: 5/7 - pretty good this week! I took naps or went to bed early when I could. 7-9 hours every night!

I may be MIA next week. Going away for work. Will be eating poorly; whatever they feed us. I am being put up in a hotel though, so I plan on using the fitness center, and hitting the pool and hot tub!!

FFF: Eleven - Fresh Start Friday

Time for Fit for Friday!

Hope the week is treating you all well. It's been a busy one for me with work and other things, but I'm off this weekend so hopefully I can play catch up, and be outside. It looks like spring may finally be here, for real!


Workouts: 5/7 - Pretty good this week. Friday, between hiking and walking downtown, I did over 6 miles. Sunday was sports practice, and I went for a two mile run with a teammate right after. Tuesday I did this lower body workout. Did a walk on Wednesday, and another sports practice on Thursday.

Eating: 2/7 - Sir and I went out for wings and beer on Saturday night. On Tuesday I was off work and threw myself an eating party. And I only now just finished the last of my Easter candy, which I've been eating all week. I think I am PMS-ing too.

Weight: Gained another 0.8 lbs. Maybe some of it is bloat, but a lot of it is food. Hopefully back on track this week!

Stress: Despite it all, I feel pretty good. Having this weekend off helps.

Decluttering: Maybe that will happen this week? I did bring some boxes home for our eventual move!

Sleep: 4/7 - Three nights over 8 hours, two over 7. Tuesday was another night where I was okay with losing sleep. Last night was rough though. Couldn't fall asleep after practice, and had to be up at 5:30 AM. Still, I think I'm getting used to it, and I'm not as exhausted as before.

Sir starts his brand new job on Monday! And we can finally start looking for apartments to reduce the commute times. We're going out tomorrow night to celebrate. Hooray, date night! I'm hoping to attack the garden this week. And perhaps I can have a fresh week to work on my weight goals this week too.

Happy Spring!

FFF: 9 is Fine

9 weeks in - Fit for Friday!

I feel better this week, like I'm finally starting to get the hang of this new schedule, sleep deprived and all. I switched back to a black tea in the morning. I think the small amount of caffeine helps. I was doing decaf before. If I have an additional tea, I'll do the decaf then.

Workouts: 4/7 - Not too much this week. I think I did the bare minimum; basically things that I am forced to do. Three sports practices. I don't "have" to do them, but I signed up so it's an obligation to go. Though I'm usually glad to be there. I also snowshoed again on Saturday. We still have snow here!

I am lucky in that I have a very physical job. For work, I often have to do a lot of recreational physical activity. I sometimes think to myself, I can't believe I am getting paid for this right now! Now that I am back at work, these will help with my workout and fitness goals, though.

Seriously considering reducing the sports practices from 3 to 2 a week. Two is the minimum; though I try for 3. Going again on Thursday after going Wednesday and getting up for work at 5:30 was a bit much. My skills suffered for it too; I lost points. We'll see.'

I have been doing squats and other things at work while waiting for the laminator or making copies, etc. I got some strange looks, but whatever.

Eating: 2.5/7 - This was not a great eating week. It was that time of the month for me and I wanted to eat everything in sight. And I did, haha. Workouts helped burn some of it off, thankfully. I finished the brownies I made, had a little sangria party for one. Yesterday I went to Chick-Fil-A. We just got one and I'd never been. I was disappointed. I didn't understand the appeal, and this place was packed! I got nuggets and fries; two fast food staples so I could make easy comparisons. The fries were soggy as were the nuggets. I don't see myself going back. What a waste of calories. The service was fantastic though; maybe that's why people go?

Weight:  Down a pound! I'm not sure how with my half-week eating party. I'll take it though! With the holiday this weekend I don't have high expectations for next week. We'll see.

Stress: I'm... managing. Took more baths this week. Managed to read a little. Meant to do my nails, but didn't get around to it. Maybe today. I made a new "rule" that if it is after 8 pm, I will not pick up the phone or answer text messages. Unless it is Sir, or some kinda life-or-death situation. It's too much. My mother has also relapsed and has taken to calling me completely sloshed in the evenings. I can't deal.

Decluttering: Nope. This is going to have to be my prime focus area. Today, Sir gave me one task and one task only before I leave to visit my uncle: Do the dishes. I did some before breakfast, and I'll get that sink decluttered before I leave today!

Sleep: 4/7 - Two nights over 8 hours. Got to sleep in this morning. One night under 7, the other 5 nights at 7 hours. I feel... okay. A little tired but not exhausted. I could definitely go back to bed though. I am looking forward to sleeping later the next couple of days!

That's it for me here. If you celebrate, I hope you all have a fantastic Easter holiday, or a wonderful Passover with family and friends. I went out last night and got stuff to make Sir a little Easter basket. When we get back Sunday nights, I hope he'll be happy with it! We'll be visiting his mom and sister.

Spectacular Snow Day

Yesterday was fantastic.

We got hit by the Nor'Easter. I didn't go into work (with my boss' full approval) and instead worked a little from home. After I realized I wasn't going in, I crawled back into bed to cuddle with Sir for a few more hours. He got a call right as I was getting in bed that his job was completely closed. Score! Snow Day!! Together!!!

We both got up leisurely from our morning cuddle. I went to complete some things for work that I had to get done, and it also made me feel less guilty for staying home (though it was totally the right decision; my coworker spun out and had to get a tow when she tried to go in- she is thankfully okay).

Sir then got a call we'd been hoping for: He got offered a job! He's been interviewing for months to find a job that was A) Anywhere that is NOT his current job because his boss is a Grade-A Douchenozzle, and B) Closer to where I work so we can move and ease our commutes.

This job fits both those things! It's an hour and a half closer to my job!! Once he starts there, his commute will go from 70 minutes to about 45. Then we can move hopefully before this summer, and his commute should go to about a half-hour, and there is even a bus!! Once we move, my commute will go from 90+ minutes to about 30. I am very excited for this potential. I can stop spending literally 3-4 hours of my day, everyday in my freaking car. Squeeee!

Him getting this news was just so fantastic not just for our future but for his whole being. I could see the anxiety, stress, and frustration leeching out of him. There's benefits, and while it is a pay cut, it is enough for us to get by. Plus after moving, we won't be hemorrhaging gas money, either.

This news had Sir on top of his game yesterday too, making sure everything was getting shoveled out. He went out there and would not let me go help! I have been the one doing a lot of the shoveling since he'd been at work. It was a nice refreshing change. I got to revel in him being stereotypically manly, and making him hot chocolate.

He was in such a good mood when he got back in, he brushed and bound my hair while we watched Secretary. We do love that movie! Definitely getting a lot of mileage out of the DVD. This hair binding, though, was particularly weird. He used a very thick rope that I think we've only used once for hair bondage. He had a lot of extra rope, so he double, or even triple bound it in spots. It was very heavy. While it did put me in a submissive space, I don't think it was very aesthetically pleasing.

After the movie, I made us a banging dumpling soup, and then to celebrate our big news we had: Booze n Brownies n BJs Night! We weren't going out in the storm so I made a tin of brownies and we boozed it up while cuddling and hanging out watching John Oliver, haha.

Afterwards, Sir finally got to fully unwind with a nice BJ.


What a truly refreshing and relaxing day!

March Questions: TV Shows and Kinky Things to Try

Daisy asks:

What's your favorite TV show, and what's something you want to try in D/s?

Picking a favorite TV show is so hard for me! Sir and I usually watch TV together after dinner. We're always a few seasons behind our favorites. If I can't pick a favorite show, I can at least pick a favorite genre, which would be Fantasy and Sci-fi.

Some of my current favorites are: Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, Once Upon a Time, Fullmetal Alchemist, Shadowhunters, and The 100.

These are shows that I actually watch for the plot and the escapism. I also like things like Chopped, Property Brothers, and Stand-up Comedy. I don't really watch those for the plot, though!



As far as something to try in D/s... I can think of two.

One, is practicing our D/s more regularly. Sir and I had and have had multiple conversations on this. When he is not his best self, D/s goes out the window. He doesn't put the time or effort into it at all and it is extremely frustrating. Because I am still submitting. Following the rules and serving him. But I need more to be fulfilled, especially sexually. There are some women who are on and ready at the drop of a dime. I am not one of those women, and sometimes I wish I was. It is really frustrating. I need more. I need the mental component. I need anticipation and build-up and mental dominance. Throwing me down on the bed and spanking me won't always do it for me. I like it, sure. But without that mental component, I am not ready to take it to a sexual level. The physical without the mental seems so contrived to me that I find it really difficult to get into it. It's the same old routine each time, and I end up feeling like Sir is only doing certain physical things to try and get me horny, which makes me even less horny, if that makes sense. I would like him to plan a little more in advance so his dick isn't the only one in charge.


The other is knife play. There have been a few instances where a scissor, or wire cutters, or some kind of sharp edge has come out in the past year or so and I've been very very intrigued by it. I am thinking more and more about a real blade, feeling it across my skin and such. The potential mindfuck of knowing he could harm me, but also knowing he probably won't. But he could... The submission in opening myself up to him, being vulnerable to him in that way. I don't know if I want to be cut, exactly, but the thrill of knowing it could happen... that is what is on my mind.

Thanks for the questions, Daisy!

March Questions: Movies & Memories

I was really pleasantly surprised to see that I actually had questions for Question and Answer month! I've been blogging here for about 7 years now, and I've never participated before.

My first two questions come from Roz (she actually asked three, but I already have half a post in my draft folder pertaining to her third question that I will finish up!)

"What is your favorite movie? Favorite childhood memory?"

Movies! That's a hard one for me. I don't think I have a single favorite. But you know you have those movies, that anytime you see them on TV or at a friends home you just have to stop what you're doing to finish watching them? I have a few like that. I'll pick two of them, so we won't be here all day, haha.

One: 

The entire Harry Potter film series. I loved when Freeform/ABC Family had their Harry Potter weekends. I first got into Harry Potter in 2002. The first four books were out, but I was already an adult. I didn't think those books/movies were "for me". Then, HBO had the first HP movie on. I caught it almost from the beginning and I was HOOKED! I even got out the TV Guide to see when it would be playing again, just so I could tape it. I watched that tape so many times. Shortly thereafter, the second movie came out in theatres. I went to see it with my then-boyfriend, and loved that one even more. I got the first four books that Christmas, and the rest is history. I really adore that first movie for getting me into that world, and for helping me to acknowledge my geeky side. I am a huge part of the HP fandom, to this day. A cosplay-making, convention-going fan!

Two: 

The other movie I'll list is Where the Heart Is. I don't know what it was about that movie, but I adored it; this coming-of-age tale filled with overcoming struggle. It just spoke to me. Any time that movie is on, I will stop what I am doing to watch it. I've never read the book though!

Memory: I had an interesting childhood. There were good times and bad times. Love and struggle. My parents were mostly good people, but they had their faults and there was some really bad shit that went down when I was growing up. My mom is a manic-depressive alcoholic, who raised me and my brother essentially on her own (though my dad was always around and helping as much as he could) until I was 14. Things got crazy, living with her, but she always tried really hard. I remember there was a summer when I was 11 going on twelve. She wanted us to get away from all our crazy problems. Her brother had just passed away from AIDS. Her and my father had separated years ago, but had an on-again off-again thing going. And it was off-again and my dad was parading around his new girlfriend to her neighbors next door. Cause she wouldn't see that or anything. Things were just stressful. 

Somehow on her limited government assistance budget, she rented us a small run-down bungalow in Queens. Right next to Rockaway Beach, a two block walk. It was the shittiest little shack ever, but we loved it. The shower was outside. There were "worms" in the drinking water. The entire inside was unfinished exposed wood, pipes, etc. It was rickety, and dark, and creaky. When the remnants of Hurricane Floyd came through, I remember huddling with my brother as the lights flickered on and off, and the old window panes rattled. The sound was deafening! In the morning, the beach was GONE. There was part of the boardwalk, and then water. No sand. No beach. It took years to rebuild. 

I look back on that summer as one of the happiest ones of my life, though. We went to the beach everyday. We swam, and boarded, and made sandcastles. We made friends with other kids who lived in their own little run-down shacks nearby. We'd eat bologna sandwiches that always seemed to have a little sand in them on the beach for lunch. At night, we'd bundle up and walk the boardwalk, looking at the moon. We'd run after the ice cream truck at dusk. My mom even let us bring our bird, a little cockatiel. Many mornings, she'd get us up when it was still dark, and we'd bring Sunny, our bird, cage and all out to the beach. We'd climb up on the lifeguard towers, Sunny between us, and watch the sunrise. Watch the sandpipers flit out to grab clams and sand crabs, and then flee hilariously as the two-inch tide would roll in. There are so many funny (and not-so-funny) stories from that summer that my family still tells all the time, to this day. But I remember my mom, trying really hard to give us a good summer. Away from our questionable neighborhood, away from real life, and the heat. For one summer, I felt like we were the richest kids on earth - sun, and sand, and fun everyday.

This is one of the very few pictures I have from that summer. My family didn't have a camera, I don't think.
 But my uncle came to visit with his and took a few shots. This is from me and him on the boardwalk at sunset.

The beach is my absolute favorite place ever since. Doesn't really matter what beach. If there's sand and some waves, I am a happy chick.

Thank you for the questions, Roz!

FFF5: Trying to be Fit while Sick

Fifth Fit for Friday is here!

I'm not expecting too much for this week. I went to my little cousin's birthday party this past weekend, and it turns out she was really sick, ended up going to the ER (Boo to her mom for letting her potentially infect everyone, though the little one is starting to feel better). So I got infected and now I'm sick too. Poo. I don't have high hopes for this weeks goals, I've been pooped. I've been intentionally eating more too, trying to give my body the energy to heal itself.

You Should Eat More When Sick

Workouts: 3/7 Barely. I did two sports workouts. I skipped last night. I did go for a quick jog on Sunday after practice though.

Eating: Friday and Saturday were awful. I didn't even log it. Family parties, and reunion with my cousins at night. Much alcohol and snacking. I did stay at about maintenance the other 5 days though. Not enough to counteract that increased eating for the other two days, however.

Weight: + 1.2 lbs. I expected this with the cold and overeating, though. I just hope I get over it soon so I can go back to kicking butt.

Stress: I'm not really stressed this week. I'm sleeping and resting a lot. I think I have a bit of cabin fever, actually. I've been playing video games and watching a lot of TV, which I fall asleep to.

Decluttering: I started working on the bathroom shelves, but didn't finish. I'll get to it next week, hopefully.

Sleep: Friday I didn't get much sleep. Up hanging with my cousins. But I slept over 8 hours, sometimes 10 or 11 hours every other night. Yesterday I spent most of my time unintentionally dozing. Hopefully it will help me get over my cold faster.

I go back to work, tomorrow! Eeek. While I'm very excited and I love my job, I am a bit anxious about getting into my new (old) routine. Early wakeups, long drives, managing the house, and life, and serving Sir with the new things I have going on. I figure it will be about 2 weeks of hell before I get used to it again.

In other news, my laptop is starting to crap all over itself. I can barely use it. I can't open certain programs, it overheats, it has display issues, there's something rattling inside it. It's 7 years old, which in technology terms is ancient, so it's probably time for a new one. I am not financially ready to get a new one though, so we'll see what happens. If it completely dies, I can get on through Sir's computer, though I'd prefer not to be a burden on him. Hopefully I won't disappear from blogland though.

Have a great first week of March! Spring is coming!

FFF: The Wrong Kinda DOMS; the Not-Fun Kind

Fourth Fit for Friday is here!

I really overdid it on Sunday at sports practice and have been combating a big ol' case of DOMS all week. And not the kind of DOMS I usually like talking about, either!

So, what's DOMS? Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness. When you work out strenuously, you can get micro-tears in your muscle fibers, causing a deep lasting soreness, that usually doesn't appear until a few hours later, lasting up until 4 days! It can be difficult to do basic tasks. For me, my soreness was all in the legs. So standing up, sitting down, walking, even trying to get onto the toilet were very difficult. This is not my first case of DOMS. My first week of sports practice I had a really bad case of it, too. And I've had it in other instances. Its pretty common, I'm sure we've all experienced this at some point.

More on DOMS here: DOMS 101

I'm still actually hurting right now, but I can now function at least! Onto the goals:

Workouts: 6/7 - I did some form of exercise almost every day this week, only missing Saturday. Three sports practices, a 40 minute walk, a Dance Dance Revolution session, and Open Roller Skating!

Also, this week we had the first of a few skills assessment tests that comes with trying out for this sports team (it's a 4-month process). I PASSED! I passed my first one! There are three things I need to work on, but I did so much better than I thought I would! I'm extremely excited and proud.

Eating: 5/7 - Sunday was a bust. Total grief eating with the family. I entered it into my meal tracker as "Bereavement Dinner". Plus, Sir took us to McDonalds before we even got there. I just looked and Saturday wasn't too good either. I forgot I went to the diner with my coworkers and got a Cuban Panini and fries. And I ate them ALL! I also had some valentine's chocolates after dinner, cause the day was already wasted, haha. It's hard for me not to indulge myself when I've already screwed my day up, eating wise. The other 5 days I was pretty good though. Within 100 or so calories of goal, and under maintenance all 5 days.

Weight: 😄 Down 1.4 lbs!!

Stress: 😊 I did yoga this week, and I took time out to do my nails. I always feel like I'm pampering myself when I do that, and don't have to feel guilty about spending money for a manicure. I colored a little in one of my coloring books, too.

Decluttering:  😊 I tackled the hot mess that was underneath the bathroom sink. I tend to just throw crap in there and forget about it until we need it and then cause an avalanche.

I ordered an undersink shelf from Amazon. Put it together and organized!

Sleep: 5/7 - I've been even more mindful of my caffeine intake (I'm not supposed to have any, but I do, so I try to limit it severely). I added night filters to my computer and phone to aid in sleep. And I put a really simple sleep tracker on my phone. I just wanted something that would tell me how long I slept, and maybe how much I should sleep. I don't need a REM graph, or ocean music or anything. This is the one I went with:

Sleep Debt Tracker

I like it so far. I've gotten over 7  hours every night this week. 5 nights over 8 hours. It's going to be difficult to manage when I go back to work next Saturday.

It's my last full week before I go back to work! I'm excited to get back, but I'm also hoping to revel in this last week, and enjoy it as much as possible! Hope you have a fantastic final week of February!

FFF: Good Week, Need to Track Sleep

Another Fit for Friday is here!

Fondles had some interesting articles on her FFF blog about Interval Weight Loss. I looked up more after reading her post. Essentially, you reset your body's "settling" point. The weight it seems to want to be at. I don't know if you've noticed that, but my body certainly has! It seems to want to settle at 190 lbs. So you do a month of losing (a small amount, 2 kg or about 4 lbs for the month, followed by a month of maintaining. Then another month of losing. I may look into trying it.

Here's my wrap-up for the week:

Workouts: I did two sports practices this week, on Wednesday and Thursday. Saturday I did a quick interval training workout. On Sunday, I also threw in a cardio/strength workout video right before bed, since I ate too much and I felt guilty, haha. I didn't make it through the whole video but I'm still proud. Its been a rough week and I'm glad with what I did. I didn't even want to go to practice yesterday (felt nauseous), and I definitely didn't want to do that cardio workout after all the eating I did Sunday!

As an aside, I got my tax return back and happily spent about half of it on all-new gear for my sport. Sir went with me to try everything on and pick it all out, which was awesome of him. He's even thinking about getting some of his old gear out so we can practice together (his sport is different but has some similarities to mine. He also hasn't played in years. I forget sometimes that his team won their National Championship back in the day!) I've only had my new gear for two practices and I'm noticing a big difference in my performance! I was borrowing gear, and using some literally ten year old gear I had up until this point. Now I just gotta break it all in!

Eating: I ate under maintenance for 5 days. I ate under my goal for 1, and went over maintenance one day, on Sunday. Not by much, but still. My aunt is visiting my mom from Alaska and she made these amazing lamb steaks with roasted asparagus!! My brother also bought me donuts for breakfast that morning, hahaha. Could have been worse! Sir and I had a great dinner for Valentine's Day but I still managed to stay under maintenance!

Weight: I lost 0.8 lbs compared to last week. I was being sulky about it (was hoping I would be less than I was when I started FFF, hoping the initial gain was water weight or something... But Sir put me to rights... "What I heard was that you lost weight! Good job!"

Stress: I didn't make time for Yoga this week. But, I did take an extended hot bubble bath, while reading a book and enjoying a decaf coffee. Definitely felt relaxing!

Decluttering: I brought the giant pile of clothes to the donation place this week. I also amassed a small laundry basket full of other assorted items to donate. A couple books, an old backpack, picture frames, a ladle... I honestly don't remember all what was in there, but it was good stuff that hopefully will help out another family at the local thrift shop! I started a pile of books to go through (donate, give away, maybe read and then donate)... I have a LOT of books. This is going to be my struggle. Its hard for me to not amass books, and will be harder still to give them away if I haven't read them yet!

Oh! While I was cleaning the bedroom, I realized just how much random kinky stuff Sir and I have just... laying around. It's just him and me living here, and we don't have friends or relatives close by that drop in. Ever. So stuff just accumulates. This is what I amassed to actually put away properly (definitely not getting rid of this stuff):

Sleep: I'm going to add this category starting this week. I haven't slept right the past few nights and I really need to be more mindful of this, especially once I return to work in a couple of weeks! I really want to aim for 8 hours, that's typically when I feel my best, but 7 is a good minimum goal, I think. Last night I got 5.

Hope you all had a verifiably good Valentine's week working on your goals!!!

I Like Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

I am a happy, corny, type of person that loves little holidays like these. I know that you don't need an excuse to show your partner that you love them. I know that you can, and should show your partner that you care each and every day.

And Sir and I do definitely show each other that, in myriad little ways. But Valentine's Day is a good time to do more. When life gets crazy, in the hustle and bustle of everything, sometimes we just don't stop and make that time. Make it special.

So I like holidays like these as times to be extra special. To take time and revel in each other's company for a few quiet moments.

I was getting hung up a couple weeks ago on the fact that on the actual day, it wasn't really feasible to celebrate. Not without foregoing my sports practice night (and I am behind by two practices already). I was leaning on just not going to practice and then be behind by three practices, because Sir is that important to me, and I wanted to celebrate with him.

But then it occurred to me. Just like you don't need Valentine's Day to show your partner that you care, if you are choosing to celebrate, it doesn't need to be on the actual day.

Plenty of people chose to celebrate over the weekend. And plenty will celebrate this upcoming weekend. What is the difference if we celebrate on Tuesday rather than Wednesday?

None!

So, Sir and I had a nice evening last night. I got dressed up. I wore my garter and my new thigh highs (more testing). I prepared for us an indulgent dinner meal by candlelight. I got him a cute card, and some candies he likes. And when he got home, we had a nice dinner together, with soft music playing, and the light from the candles flickering. We usually don't have dinner at our table like that. We usually eat at the end of a long day by the TV watching a show, and talking about our days.

Taking that special time is nice. The novelty of the situation makes it even more so.

Dinner and candy!

Sir's card this year. I thought it was cute and funny. And so us.

I always enjoy seeing his big "Man Mug" next to my delicate "Lady glass".

...There's a euphemism in there somewhere, haha!

I didn't realize it, and he somehow snuck it right into the house without me knowing, but Sir got me a little something too! We usually don't do gifts on holidays like these (Valentine's, Anniversaries)... We just strive to do a date night or spend some special time together.

Sir got me this awesome giraffe pillow. It means a lot to me. One, Sir knows I love giraffes. I even have a little giraffe collection of figurines and such in the house. And I LOVE pillows. I have way too many for Sir's taste on the bed. So the fact that he got me ANOTHER pillow for the bed, AND it's a giraffe one to boot? Awesome. He even managed to pick colors that match our bedroom (though that was a total accident, he said).

We ended up watching the Michael Bolton Valentine's Day Special. It came out last year and it was surprisingly funny, so if you haven't seen it, it's on Netflix.

And after all that, I got what I wanted most of all: Kisses from Sir. That morning, Sir kissed me goodbye, and I swear I could feel him on my lips all day. Kissing him was on my mind for the many hours until he returned home. And we also had sex for our requisite "Fuck Day" (I wish I could find that bit by George Carlin). It was vanilla and lovely. Definitely the "making love" type of sex. Sir had a nice massage and blow-job too.

All in all, it was a good celebration.

Happy Valentine's Day! Hope you're all having some kinky, sexy fun!