Sunday, December 04, 2011

Headspace Rituals

How do you mentally prepare yourself to meet your Dominant? Whether you live with that person, or not, do you have some sort of ritual to get yourself into the right headspace?

If you do live with your Dominant, I think having something to recenter yourself could be important. Though you would be 24/7 and there would be less of a line between your public and private selves, there must be times where it is necessary to remind yourself of your role.

If you do not live with your Dominant, I think this is even more key. When not with them, you’re often forced to play the dominant role in your own life. Things that you would defer to them, you deal with yourself. In the workplace or in the home, you’re often in the driver’s seat, and when it comes time to give that up and take the role that you want to take with them, it can be really difficult to switch gears.

I’d been having a bit of a problem with remembering to say “Sir”. I’ve been getting so much better lately. I have noticed that sometimes I forget to respond if its not a direct question, like thanking Sir for unexpected praise. Or sometimes I will comply to his command, but silently. I’ve been working on addressing him every time he commands me to do something, and thanking him when he praises me. Praise embarrasses me a little bit, so I suppose I get shy and quiet, which I’m working to change.

A bit ago, MagnusCattus made a suggestion of having a ritual for when I meet my Sir. That way I’m getting into the correct headspace before we meet, and I’m not working to switch gears once I do finally get to see him. Though I’ve not gotten formal instructions from my Sir, I have developed a mini ritual before I see him.

When possible, I like to take care of my personal appearance before I meet with my Sir. Sometimes, this is not always possible; if I meet him directly after work, I don’t have time to go home and prepare. I should come up with something else for those situations. When I’m home, I like to bathe before we meet. I like to prepare my body for him. Besides getting clean, I shave for him. Typically, I don’t go completely shaven; I usually let it grow a bit and then make a small patch. But his preference is for me to be completely clean shaven down there, and so I comply. Each time I prepare myself for him, I am focused on his desires, and his wants. I am focused on serving him, instead of myself. So in a small way, I am preparing myself mentally as well for meeting him.

This is just one small thing that I’ve noticed that has helped me. What are some things that you do?
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