Sunday, July 28, 2013

On the Other Foot

This past year has been pretty hard on me. Sir has been my absolute ROCK. He listened to me every night, dried my tears, helped me with my work, and tried to think of solutions.

Now, Sir is going through something, and I understand how he felt. I love him. I want to be there for him. And I want him to know that I will continue to love him, no matter what. I can see how he felt to be an ear, but not be able to help.

Sir is seeking his own solutions and soon, which I hope work for him. In the meantime, I'm being as supportive as I can by listening to him, or distracting him when I can.

We had a nice evening alone and I did my best to make sure there wasn't enough blood in his brain for him to focus on his troubles.

I may be getting unexpected vacation time soon. If this happens, we're going to try and get time off together. I am so excited by this prospect; it's unreal!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Photo Post

I meant to add some photos to  this post a week ago. Just getting around to it now.

So, a couple of weeks ago, Sir bound my hair into a handle:

Bound with a ring!
Not just pretty, but useful too!

Sir then handcuffed me, took my head and hooked me to the top of his over-door coat rack.

I had to remain on my tip-toes or feel like my hair was going to be ripped out of my skull. I liked this intro into predicament bondage.

Sir also forcibly beat my ass all over the room with his hand and various implements until it was a lovely shade of pink. He manually restrained me in an upright position. I really enjoyed feeling just how much stronger he is than me; for him to be able to overpower me in such a fashion. He also clamped my nipples. He took photos of those too that I'd like to post, but even edited my nudity is just for him.

I suppose I am a bit of an exhibitionist. Good thing he's here to keep me in check! One more way I can submit to him.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Jekyll and Hyde

Since I'm only working the one job right now, I have my weekends free. This is such a blessing. There's more time for Sir and I to see each other. Therefore, Sir is much more on top of his Dom game. He does cater to me, and care for me. He's been very lenient with me lately, as I've been having some health issues. But I shouldn't let that get to my head. Last night I was a bit sleepy and whiny. Sir catered to me. I went to sleep with a teddy bear.

I woke up to the animal.

I woke Sir up with kisses. After his eyes were fully open, it was like a switch went off in his brain. He grabbed me by my hair, and proceeded to remind me of just who was in charge. He made me repeat it over and over. He forcefully reminded me of his title, as I still have issues remembering at times. After he stripped me down, he dragged me by my hair to the door, where he handcuffed me. And there I stood for 34 minutes while he ignored me and played his game. Id been bad for not completing his punishments when we were apart, and he'd not forgotten.

It made me feel small. Little. And wonderful.

It's harder for me to assume the right headspace at his whim, but I'm loving this.

I guess we never know what we'll wake up to!

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Back with a Bang

I haven't posted in over two weeks, so I owe Sir a collective 160 minutes of corner time. : / I'll do as much as I can each day until it is complete. He insisted I post here first - I think he's rather proud of himself. I am too. I am also proud of him for NOT going soft on me. It actually strengthens my resolve to improve myself for him.

The past few weeks have been crazy. I work in education, so this time of year is just a roller-coaster. I'm happy to say it's all over now, and I only have one job for the next couple of months, and no weekends at work!

Sir and I finally had actual time alone this past weekend. The last time we were truly alone was probably in January, when we went away for our anniversary. The last time we had time alone where we didn't get a hotel room.... I can't actually remember. It was perfect.

On Friday I was off from work. I drove an hour to his place on Thursday night. We just hung out and enjoyed each other's company while watching Doctor Who (my new favorite).

He went to work on Friday, and I stayed home. I cleaned. I did our laundry. I went to the market and planned a dinner, which I had executed almost perfectly for his arrival home. I felt very much like a 50's housewife, and I have to say that I really enjoyed it! I felt like I was doing things that would make his life easier. I don't know if I could be a full time stay at home sub/wife, but I think if we were in a position where I could work part time and stay at home the other time, it would be good!

I  made us a cake to celebrate after dinner. There's so much to celebrate. The beginning of summer. The end of my first  job for this year. A summer where I have time to spend with him. More relaxation. Time alone since forever! So to encompass all that, I wrote "YAY" on the cake in decorative sprinkles.

Before I started cooking, I took a nice shower and wore a cute dress for Sir's arrival home. I also tried to find my collar (he's the one who keeps it, naturally). I could only find my sleeping collar, so I put that on. I didn't think that he would mind that I chose to put the collar on myself because of the spirit in which I did it. Happily, I was right. I think he appreciated seeing me in a nice dress with my collar on, cooking and things being clean. The day put me in the right headspace.

After dinner, Sir had me sit in the wooden chair in his room. He wanted to try something, he said. I wasn't allowed to look, but I could feel him binding my hair. I love it when he binds my hair. This time, however, he chose to place a ring in my hair and bind my hair around it so it became a place where he could attach things, or grab me or...

Attach my head to the top of his door with a door hanger and leave me there. I couldn't place my feet flat on the floor without feeling like my hair would rip out of my skull. This suited Sir just fine. The first time, I was able to unhook myself, so he attached me to the higher hook - no detaching myself there! The evening was extended and laced with nipple clips, flogging (which I loved), paddling, and bare hand spanking around his room. He seemed to know just when I couldn't take any more, to give me a respite. I felt so in my place. I like it when he holds me in place so I have to take what he's giving. I fear not being able to handle what he's dishing out, but he always seems to give me a break at just the right time.

Being that we were completely alone, I had no inhibitions about sound. I'm usually paranoid that someone will hear us and our unorthodox activities. But this weekend I was free to scream, shout, and forget about other people to just be in the moment. Sir says that he relishes every sound that he gets me to make, and when we're in close proximity to others (even through a door), I just don't feel comfortable. I can't really let go because I'm constantly worried about what people will hear, whether it's me, or things striking me.

I made a comment a bit ago about how I sometimes feel that Sir and I are "just playing dress up" when it comes to BDSM and I feel like I'm waiting for the day when it becomes real. I'm not sure when that day will be (likely when we cohabitate), but this seemed like a step in the right direction. I think I just want to feel that part of our relationship more often. When days or weeks go by when we're not actively engaged or trying something, I suppose I feel that we're not progressing and things aren't real. I realize that BDSM is different for everyone, so I'm not saying that I wish I had what someone else does - I'm just hoping that we can figure out what works for us in our current situation sooner. We live an hour apart, so we don't see each other everyday. But I'd still like to feel submissive to him everyday in a deeper way.

We'll figure it out.
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