Thursday, May 28, 2015

Sir's Scent

I am a very scent-oriented person. I just like to smell things. I love to use Febreze. Sir says I should buy stock in the company. I adore the aroma of delicious food permeating through the house. I love the smells of clean laundry- I just want to curl up in it sometimes. I love the smell of books - there's so much history in that smell. It's why I can't get rid of them even though I have TWO e-readers now.
The smell of leather. The scent of my collar as I place it on each day when I walk in the door. The smell of the leather cuffs as they go on. The soul-cleaning smell of the wind on a beautiful day walking outside. The lovely grass-gasoline smell following a freshly cut lawn. I am just constantly smelling the world.

The number one thing I smell, though, is actually Sir. I think this was weird for Sir at first. I am not really... subtle about it. When we're hugging, I'll just take a deep breath and just breathe him all in. Or just bury my face into the crook of his shoulder and inhale. I just love the way Sir smells. It makes me feel warm inside to be close to him. wrapped in his scent. Even when he's got a little bit of man-smell on him from the day, I just love it.

Besides the warm and happy feelings that wash over me from his scent, there's been studies on this sort of thing. Women find partners more attractive, scent wise, based on immunological compatibility. So, I suppose that if Sir and I were to have kids one day, they'd have a good chance at fighting off infections!

Friday, May 22, 2015

No Shirt, No Service

A few days ago, Sir switched up the rules. We've been doing this thing where I only have 5 rules at a time. Sometimes, they stay and I get new ones in their place. Goodbye to the rules that weren't working for us. Sometimes, they stay and become part of us, and I get a new addition while still keeping the old rule.

Gone are the masturbate 3x a week rule, and the offer Sir fellatio nightly rule. I'm not exactly sure why. I think Sir didn't like refusing me, or holding me to it? As far as masturbating - thank heavens I will be off this medication in 2.5 months. It has killed my libido and even getting myself off is a chore. Hopefully when this medication is over my libido will return. It's not totally gone, but it needs a lot of coaxing and persuasion for it to come out. I'm scared that it won't come back once I'm off this medication. That somehow I'll be stuck trying to get interested. That even if my mind is ready my body couldn't give two fucks. I think Sir has seen my struggle and possibly didn't want to "rub it in my face" when the purpose of the rule was to keep me interested, perhaps.

I'm still maintaining the house, making lunches, adhering to my diet/exercise routine, and wearing my collar. A new addition is that I am to include "Sir" when addressing Sir in every sentence, either before or after the sentence. This will be hard. Hard to remember each time, and hard to watch myself in public once achieved. I think it will be difficult for Sir to police as well. I am also to welcome Sir home if he comes in and I am already home, or let him know I am home if I arrive after him. "Welcome Home, Sir." or "I'm home, Sir".

Secondly, I am not to wear anything (other than my collar) from the waist up when in the house. I think this may be easier to implement and enforce than the other rule, but I like it much less. Sitting here in my pajama pants only, I feel very exposed, and ...floppy. I'm also cold. I want to cover up, just for warmth and comfort. Maybe a blanket wouldn't get me in trouble? I always have blankets - even in the summer.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Like I Need a Reason to Cuddle

I am a HUGE cuddler. Definitely a cuddle-whore.

Before Sir and I started dating, he had not had a girlfriend in many years. So I think perhaps he was unused to someone wanting to hug and touch and cuddle on him. Then I come along and not only do I want those things, but I want them to the Nth degree.

He often has to verbally (and sometimes physically) restrain me when getting into bed because I can't wait for him to get in and settled before I am trying to cuddle on him.

We even have our own dorky term for cuddle time. We need to absorb "cuddle units". This comes from playing Sims and the needs bar getting filled up when certain needs were met. Because cuddling is a NEED.

In the past 4+ years, Sir has definitely embraced my need for cuddling, though. I daresay he may even love it! It has gotten to the point that if we are hanging out on the couch, and my feet and legs are NOT on him, he starts to wonder what is wrong.
I heard on the radio recently that cuddling is good for you (well of COURSE it is!) so I dug up this article:

10 Incredible Facts About Cuddling

Also, this:

Cuddle Like You Mean It

All joking aside, this just adds even more fuel for reasons why we should cuddle.

Number one reason: Because, cuddles.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

My Collar in Public

Last night, a friend of mine from New Jersey was in town on vacation with her family seeing the local sights around here and visiting the amusement park. She wanted to meet up so we might see each other.

After a few failed attempts to coordinate, she let me know that her family was back at the hotel and her kiddos were about to go to bed, and she could slip out for a bit to chat.

I pretty much ran out the door and jumped in the car to meet her. Turns out, her kiddos wouldn't go to sleep so we hung out with them and her husband just walking around their hotel, and burning off some of the kid's energy. About 15 minutes into this visit, I feel my collar pull away from and hit my neck.

My collar.


Which I had been wearing the entire time.

Since Sir has had me switch to the smaller more comfortable collar, it does feel more natural to wear. So natural in fact, that I forget I am wearing it. In a way that is good - it should be natural and feel like it belongs at my neck. But I suppose it's bad if I forget to take it off. One of my fears has been forgetting to remove it and showing up at work with it on.

Luckily, they didn't notice. Or if they did, they said nothing. Once I realized, I  surreptitiously pulled my shirt over it to hide it, but I was very very aware of it from that moment on.

I'm not sure if they actually didn't notice, or didn't want to ask. I'm hoping its the former. I have a hard time believing it wasn't noticed though. They are the epitome of a vanilla couple, but with pop culture  being exposed to kink, I feel like they must have some knowledge of these things.

No use dwelling on it any longer though. Hopefully this will teach me to be more careful in the future!

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Checking In

Been laying low lately. Super overwhelmed at work (they changed my position a few weeks ago... again. No warning and a mountain of work and stress). Just another month before this job is over. It will be both a blessing and a curse. Less work stress but more financial stress and we're already strapped right now. Somehow it will all work out. It has to.

I actually had my first migraine ever yesterday. Probably something to do with this job. Sir had to explain what had happened to me. I've had headaches before, but never the flashing lights and tunnel vision, etc. I thought I was having a stroke! I think I had another one today because I was seeing weird things with my eyes combined with the headache. I hope this isn't a recurring thing.

Yesterday while in the checkout line at Walmart an older gent chatted me up about my hair. Apparently he has a fetish for long hair on women. He was actually cute - I believe he thought he may have offended me, but I assured him that I wasn't taken aback. I think it's that line of being truthful but trying not to be too forward and stumbling over your words... I suppose I found that part of it cute.

Not much to report D/s wise. Sir and I work our butts off everyday, get home late and then pass out after a quick dinner. We've had some late night talks about our stress levels, exhaustion, and being consistent. But I think that right now, this may just be the ebb and flow of things. You can't do everything at once and just keeping our heads above water is about all we can focus on right now. We've stopped going to munches too. Not because we don't want to or because of any members of the group. It's purely a financial thing.

I have an interview later this week for a full time position starting in a couple of months so maybe there's hope yet.

Sir did make a decision to switch me to the smaller comfy collar. He said it was because of the heat. I do think he feels it more acutely than I do. Don't get me wrong - when its up in the 90's, the big collar sticks to me, and it is uncomfortable. But I wasn't even thinking about not wearing it, and I didn't think it was that bad yet. And now that I've been wearing the big collar all the time (even to bed) for the past few months, wearing the comfy collar almost makes me feel naked!

Sir also decided that I will no longer wear a top to bed (but bottoms are okay). He's not officially enacted that rule yet, but it's coming!

Hope you've all been doing well this Spring!
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