Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Uniform: Continued

There is more to the uniform story here.

After the comments my last post, where Sir was thinking (key word here) about having me wear a black leotard as a uniform, I feel the need to reply here and continue the story.

Some are under the impression that Sir and I have not already had an open discussion on the matter. Weighing the options. Of course we have. Sir and I have been together for over 8 years now. There is nothing we hide from each other, and though he does have the final say, I am not afraid to let him know how I feel. When I wrote my post, we had already had a discussion on the matter. I already told him my thoughts about it. I was waiting to find out what he decided.

Another thought was that asking me to do this arbitrary thing for the sake of feeling dominant might breed resentment. I do not think so. I don't think it is arbitrary for one. I don't think of it as something I would hate, either. Just because you're not overjoyed for something doesn't mean you feel hatred for it. Control over my dress and appearance is not arbitrary for us. I have been growing my hair out for 8 years, as an example. For another, I have already had a dress code for the past 7 and a half years. This is more of an extension of that. At first, changing the way I dress was difficult and I have been pissy about it at times. Sometimes it still is difficult. But I have never resented Sir for it. And it certainly has helped my headspace, though less so now.

If there was something that you knew made your partner happy, wouldn't you do it? A thing that does not cause you harm, but perhaps a little inconvenience into your day? A change in your routine? I know I want to make him happy. How is this different preparing a great dinner, putting on the perfume that they like, or keeping a clean house for them, as an example?

One person commented on the eventual "rote-ness" of it. That is a great thing to consider. I still wear skirts or dresses everyday when I am not at work. At first, it make me feel incredibly submissive, and reminded me of Sir, especially as we were not living together. When we first moved in together it also helped my headspace as I liked looking good for him each day. Today, it has become more or less part of me, and I don't think it affects me from a submissive point of view as much. But if it makes Sir happy, I am still happy to do it. It has become a little bit of my identity, I think though, in general.

A few months ago Sir asked me to stop growing my hair out. It was completely jarring. He said it had finally reached a good length. I don't know how to be the person who is not growing their hair. After all those years, it was part of me, and I still am not sure how to deal with that at present. One day at a time. Eventually this would become part of my identity, too, even if it wasn't something that I initiated or was in love with doing. It becomes part of you.

So, if Sir wants a new addition to the dress code, he will have it. I have brought up my concerns to him. He listened and thought about it, and came up with a different idea on his own. He's my Dominant, not an unthinking douche who doesn't consider my needs or what I have to say. I am not afraid of him, or of telling him how I feel and think. He likes that about me. Though he does make mistakes, we all do and he tries very hard to make me happy. What makes me happy is being submissive. So what Sir decides goes.

Instead of a leotard, Sir is now thinking about having me wear an A-shirt. (One of those long men's undershirt tanks). He is not sure if it will be white, or black. I will not be wearing undergarments with it unless I am on my cycle.

We talked about this idea too. It does solve some of the concerns I had about practicality, so while I am not initially wild over it, I think it will work. And while I don't find them particularly sexy at the moment, they have their appeal and I do know that if this is what he decides, the first time I put that shirt on I will definitely be in the right headspace, thinking about him.

Thanks for your input, I truly do appreciate it.

Friday, August 16, 2019


Sir says that he is thinking about modifying my current dress code a little.

As of right now, when I am not at work, or working out, I am to wear a dress or skirt. I do own some leggings to wear under the skirts in the wintertime and to exercise.

I have gotten a little lax in that there have been times I wore leggings with no skirt, when I was not exercising. But it has not been very often. I have also pretty much stopped exercising, and as it is not winter, I suppose I've been adhering to dress code more.

Sir is thinking of adding a requirement to my dress code, for indoors only.

Basically, a black leotard.

So that when I am in the house, it would be my uniform.

We looked at a few.

The one he liked best thus far was this:

We would of course need multiple items, enough to get me through a week or so between laundry.
And I don't know if it would change in the winter. Would I be expected to sleep in it? How would having my monthly cycle impact this?

I'm not yet sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, it is another level of control. On the other... part of me wonders what the ultimate goal is. I wonder how compliant I would be. Especially when I am cold. If I will be bratty.

When we talked about it, he said it was a way to direct what I wear, and it would be easier.

Easier for whom, I asked? Certainly not for me. If you have worn one of these, they're not the easiest to get into or out of. They're not the most functional if you have to use the restroom. If you are menstruating, they're a downright pain in the ass. And what about underwear? Do I not wear them now?

But while those are valid things to consider, they're not really the point. Whether it is easier for me or not is irrelevant. If Sir decides it, this is what will be.

Sunday, August 11, 2019

Invisible Tether

It seemed like it had been a good long while since Sir and I got to engage in any real sex or kink or scene. We'd been on conflicting schedules, and the last few times we did get a chance, something awkward or awful happened.

I was starting to be concerned that we were going to go through a really dry spell vanilla, kink, or otherwise.

Luckily I was wrong.

We had some time to ourselves Sunday afternoon.

Sir gave me a good reminder on his control over me. Without using anything but himself. No toys. No constraints. Just him and me.

Just his hands on my body. Caressing...coaxing. Cracking. A pinch here, a tap there.

Getting me completely in his thrall. Keeping me there with only his hands and his voice.

It felt like his words were around me, binding me in place.

Reminding me that I am his.


Sunday, August 04, 2019

Abort: A Scene Fail

One night after work, Sir let me know that something was going to go down after dinner. 

I love that; the anticipation. Thinking about it during our meal.

After dinner and a shower, Sir wasted no time, grabbing me by the hair and gently but firmly pulling me to the living room, where he had set up one of our dining chairs. He had me sit. I was naked and still slightly damp from the shower.

He tied my thighs to the chair, near my knees, pulling them apart; keeping them open and therefore me exposed.

He tied my ankles.

He tied my hands as well, down at each side to the chair legs.


He then tied my hair to the back of the chair. Upon completion, he circled like a waiting vulture. A smack here, a pinch there.

He got out our purple paddle, running it over my body, up to my neck, settling under my chin, lifting it up to force me to meet his eyes.

I could feel the paddle sliding just a little. More and more forward, away from my neck.

Finally, it happened.

It came free and struck me right in the mouth.

My stupidly open mouth.

And right on to the tooth I just had dental work on. (It was so bad, Sir had actually brought me to the ER before we could see a dentist).

The pain was excruciating. I felt like it exploded through my face, though it was just a little tap.

I now fully understand the phrase "burst into tears". They too, exploded out of me, while I tried to contain myself. I couldn't, though, and it just seemed like I was hyperventilating.

Sir did not mean to do it.

Sir feels extremely awful about it.

I think he was at a loss for what to do first. So he settled on holding my head until I calmed down a little. He then untied my hands, which flew immediately to my face. He knew that a normal reaction would be to try and "protect" the area, but my hands were bound. It made me feel more vulnerable not being able to do so and probably increased my reaction. I think I was also crying because it had been so long since we were able to get together like this, and I felt like it was all ruined. We were going to miss out. I was disappointed.

After, he took me over to the couch and let me snuggle in all the blankets.

Thankfully, after another dental visit, the tooth is okay (but requires additional unrelated work).


Hopefully we'll get to revisit this again.
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