Thursday, November 20, 2014

Sir's Birthday Part 2

So, Sir and I had a great day for his birthday, and then had a good sleep. When we awoke, my plan
was to give Sir a nice blowjob (that I meant to give him the night before) using this special spray that numbs the back of my throat so I can take more of him, and really focus on pleasing him.

Sir had other ideas.

As soon as we got up, Sir headed to the back room, and I heard the classic noises of him fiddling with our toybag.

"Bitch, come here."

I came into the room still in my pajamas, and Sir immediately cuffed and locked all my limbs. I admit, I got a little whiney, probably because I had literally just opened an eyeball. I really need to keep myself in check sometimes.

Sir marched be back into the bedroom, changed my comfy collar to the big leather collar, then stripped me bare. He then tied my wrist cuffs together using rope, and bound my arms above my head using the door for leverage. I was whining a little bit, because it was cold. We turn the thermostat down at night, so the house hadn't had a chance to warm up yet.

He brought out the body marker and scrawled across my breasts. When he was finished, my right breast said "Happy", my left breast said "Birthday" and across my chest was "BITCH". I am his "Happy Birthday" Bitch! I'm glad he wrote on me - it's not something we do often. I just hope BITCH is not peeking through my shirt at work tomorrow, haha.

As I faced the door, I felt a lot of sensations, tricking me and making me wiggle. He started off soothing, running his hands up and down my back. Then, Sir brought out a pointy back massager I got at a dollar store somewhere. I could feel it biting into my back and the top of my ass. I could feel the skinny bite of the wartenberg wheel, which felt more like a thin knife across my skin. I think he brought out the metal back scratcher too. I liked when he tried to trick my body, using them simultaneously down my spine, then separating each across my skin. It leaves me trying to figure out which sensations are from which implement.

From there, he brought out the thin whippy belt, leaving little stripes across my back. He hit me hard a few times to leave a deeper mark, and probably also just to show me he could; that he was in control, and if I'm liking the light whipping, it's because he wants me to. He could turn it at any moment. He had me face him, twirling on my toes, arms suspended above my head.

"Whose submissive bitch are you?"

"Yours, Sir."

"What are you?"

"I'm your submissive bitch, Sir."

He then whipped me lightly across the front of my body. I always feel more vulnerable when the front of my body is exposed.

He had me face the wall again. I mentioned that I felt selfish. Here it was his birthday, and I'm the one getting all the attention. He didn't want a blowjob, he wants to do things I like instead?

"It's my birthday, bitch, and I'd like to spend it putting you in the right headspace. Plus, I enjoy doing these things to you, hearing your sounds, watching you squirm... and it's not like you're not giving me a blowjob later!"

Touche, Sir.

Sir then swatted my ass a few times with the big paddle.

He had another implement, and was alternating until he said, "Hard or Soft?"

"Um, what, Sir?"

"Hard or Soft?"

", hard, Sir?"

I felt a soft tickle down my spine. "Hard, or Soft?"

", Soft, Sir?"

-WHAM!- He wailed down on my ass. "Hard or Soft?"


-A gentle tap on my bottom.-

This continued, him asking me "Hard or soft?", me hesitatingly responding, and him either complying or not. I wasn't ever sure what to say, because he's going to do what he wants anyway.

He asked me if I knew why he was doing this. I wasn't sure. He knows I dislike having to make decisions, especially when he asks me what I want. I feel put on the spot and out of ideas. I liked this activity because it was a choice, but it was controlled. Instead of infinite options, there were a few selections. It made it easier. But if he was going to give me a choice, and then do what he wants, why bother giving me a choice in the first place?

Sir educated me. "You can choose, but it is up to me to decide if the choice is the best thing for you. You can ask, but I decide."

It was a little bit of a mindfuck for me. A small part of me still feels like he is going to do what he wants anyway, he knows what he feels is best for me anyway, so why have me choose? That being said, I like the choices, even if he doesn't acquiesce to my selection. Because he can do what he wants.

I started to reach my arm suspension limit, so Sir unbound my arms. I was a lucky girl, for he let me serve his cock! I trimmed him nicely, and then after applying my "Deep Throat" spray, got to sucking. I'm glad Sir got his birthday blowjob after all!

Monday, November 17, 2014

Sir's Birthday Part 1

It was Sir's birthday this weekend. I did my best to try and make sure he had a great weekend, especially with our limited resources at the moment.

He actually woke up before me! I wanted to serve him breakfast in bed, but that didn't work out.

I woke and selected a dress (below) that I thought would please him. I'd never worn it before. I thought he would like the color and leather touches. I put on my black stockings and my knee-high black leather boots for him to finish getting myself ready.

The dress I wore for Sir's birthday. 
I was not wearing those socks at the time!

For breakfast he asked for scrambled eggs. I of course made those, but I also made some bacon and cinnamon rolls. I tried to be fancy and roll some bacon into each cinnamon swirl. They came out okay, but I know Sir appreciated the effort. We snuggled on the couch while we ate breakfast and watched Netflix. Eventually Sir was acting like a little kid.

"Presents now?" ... "How about now?"

I told Sir that I can't say no to him on his Birthday! (Or anytime else, really!)

So I gave him his gifts.

I got us 2 movie tickets for next week to see Mockingjay. I also got him a new I-phone cord because he needed it. He wanted to go to the gaming store, so we took a trek downtown (after realizing we probably could have walked). Then we went to Goodwill, hoping to find him a new coat (his is beat). There weren't any coats for him, but I found a new pair of work shoes (I can't stand all day in the knee-high boots without my feet screaming at me).

We came home for a late lunch, and then headed to the movies! Sir LOVES going to the movies. He used to go almost every week before we moved. We haven't gone once since the move. mostly due to time and resources. But for a special occasion, we can splurge! We went to see Big Hero 6. Sir loves animated films and robots. We took a corny picture in front of a promotional display, and Sir decided to hug the robot! I want to frame that photo; Sir is so cute in it.

The movie was excellent. We were both surprised by how much we enjoyed the film. We both want toy Baymaxes now, haha.

After the movie, we stopped at this sushi grill for dinner. We ordered chicken udon soups, futomaki and tuna rolls. Sir likes sushi, but we don't eat it a lot. We've also been looking for a place to get udon soup, so that was good. 

Upon returning home, I barricaded the kitchen (I put a chair in front of the kitchen doorway) while I got his cake together. Ice cream cake for Sir, his favorite! My cake writing skills leave something to be desired, but it tasted good!

After watching a not-so-good comedy special, we passed out. I thought we were going to get down to some more exciting activities, but I should have known. With Sir it was only a delay; he didn't put it off the table entirely.

And so upon waking, we had a fun morning...

Part 2 to come!

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Freak Out

I love my Sir. I love my Sir. I love my Sir.

I've been having episodes of panic in the past couple of days. Two days ago, I started medication for the next 9 months. I went through everything with my doctor. Possible side effects, when to take it, what to take it with, what to do if I miss a dose, what to do if I start having side effects, how it will interact with my birth control.

They gave me a pamphlet that I could keep to have the information at the ready.

I started taking it and a few times now, I've had what I feel are all the classic signs of a panic attack. Lightheadedness, shortness of breath, waves of anxiety through the body. Increased heart rate. Weakness, pressure, chest pain. Most of these symptoms are listed as side effects of the drug on my pamphlet, and to call my doctor right away if I experience them (I am calling first thing tomorrow morning' they are closed and I don't think this warrants a visit to the emergency room).

I've dealt with anxiety since I've been about 17 or so, but I haven't had an attack in a long time.

So I go online and it turns out that there are certain foods that should be avoided when taking this medication. Foods that I've eaten correlating to the time of these attacks. None of this was listed on my pamphlet. At least now I probably know the reason why. The side effect feelings do trigger panic for me though, which makes it worse.

Sir has been so good to me. Just holding me and helping me calm down (to not make it worse). Petting my head. Piling me up with my sweater and blankets and his hoodie so I can smell him and not feel so cold. Helping me get around the house when my balance seemed out of whack. Carrying things for me. He even let me have THREE Oreos from the cabinet (and I didn't ask for any) (and they weren't on the list of foods I can't eat). Just letting me cuddle on him while we watched comedy to take my mind off of it.

He is a good Sir, and I am lucky to be his submissive.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Attitude Adjustment

Sir and I are slowly transitioning to what our "real lives" will be like out here. I cook us dinner, we watch nerdy shows at night. We cuddle. We go shopping. All the vanilla trappings of living together.

Except... it's not quite vanilla and I love that. I wear my collar more often than not. A few times, Sir has moved my collar to the collar cabinet when I was taking a shower (and I forgot to put it back on once moved), so I've gotten more familiar with the big monster collar. I am getting more used to wearing the bigger collar more often, but I like that Sir will take it out for special occasions; to remind me of my place, or to emphasize a scene he's planned.

Sir is getting more vocal in asking me for things when we're in the house. Asking is not quite the right term, it's more like giving me a task. To look over his work, to give him a massage, to bring him a snack or drink. I like these moments to serve him, even in a small way.

Sometimes I do get grumpy. We're all human. When I get grumpy, Sir has to give me an attitude adjustment. Sometimes it means that I get smacked on the ass until I cry. Another time, he tied my arms over my head to our bedroom door, and then.... calmly brushed my hair. This weekend he forcibly pushed me through the apartment, to the kitchen where I was told to clean the entire thing in an hour. I was pouty because I had a catsuit on with shibari locking me in, and cuffs on all four limbs. I loved it at first, but after a few hours it because tiresome on my limbs, and the thought of doing all that work with such constraints made me grumpy I guess. I just wanted to lay in bed and read. Sir won out in the end, as he should, and over the hour, my attitude changed. I became more needy for his approval and to show him that I could accomplish his task in an hour. He wasn't going to check my work, but I suppose I needled him about it a bit,, and then he did. My attitude changing, I desired his approval, and it's hard to approve of my work for him if he didn't look at it!

When I was working last year a supervisor mentioned that you have to "Inspect what you expect." If you don't check to see if your expectations are being met, it seems like you are not serious about that expectation. I can see it applying here a little.

I asked Sir if he wished that I was more submissive to his desires all the time; that I never fought, or got grumpy against him, and that all my responses would always be "Yes, Sir!"

He said... sometimes. But not always. There are times when I am being a pain in his ass and he doesn't want to have to discipline me. But he admitted that life would be boring if I didn't keep him on his toes now and again. As long as I'm not pre-meditatively planning disobedience. Which I'm not.

Monday, November 10, 2014

No Oreos

I really, really, want to eat some Oreos. Or Cake, Or cupcakes, or cookies. Or some kind of sweet pastry.

We have Mint Oreos in the rewards cabinet.

I asked, and Sir said... No.

Though I really do want to eat those Oreos, sometimes I'm glad when Sir says no.

It makes me feel more of his control.

More control at the price of tasty Oreos. 

From the Mouth of Sir

"You're a one-man slut, that's what you are."


Monday, November 03, 2014

Collar Cabinet

I think I found the perfect place to keep my collars when they're not in use!

Sir has said for a long time that once we're living together, he wanted me to have a place near the front door to keep my collar so I can put it on right away when coming in from work, etc.

So, I have this small piece of furniture that I took from my mom's a few years ago (she was going to throw it out!)

 So, I added a cute surprise to it!

I had some leftover red satin from a cosplay project (I upgraded the cape to a leather material, so I no longer need the satin). I placed that nicely in the drawer, and voilà! Now we have a nice place to keep collars. I like that the satin makes it... fancy. It lends a sense of reverence and importance to it, as it should. In the bottom, I am thinking of putting a kneeling pillow, therefore making this entire piece purely for D/s purposes. I don't like the idea of my collars being on top with random stuff strewn in the bottom.

I love how this drawer came out!

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