Thursday, November 13, 2014

Freak Out

I love my Sir. I love my Sir. I love my Sir.

I've been having episodes of panic in the past couple of days. Two days ago, I started medication for the next 9 months. I went through everything with my doctor. Possible side effects, when to take it, what to take it with, what to do if I miss a dose, what to do if I start having side effects, how it will interact with my birth control.

They gave me a pamphlet that I could keep to have the information at the ready.

I started taking it and a few times now, I've had what I feel are all the classic signs of a panic attack. Lightheadedness, shortness of breath, waves of anxiety through the body. Increased heart rate. Weakness, pressure, chest pain. Most of these symptoms are listed as side effects of the drug on my pamphlet, and to call my doctor right away if I experience them (I am calling first thing tomorrow morning' they are closed and I don't think this warrants a visit to the emergency room).

I've dealt with anxiety since I've been about 17 or so, but I haven't had an attack in a long time.

So I go online and it turns out that there are certain foods that should be avoided when taking this medication. Foods that I've eaten correlating to the time of these attacks. None of this was listed on my pamphlet. At least now I probably know the reason why. The side effect feelings do trigger panic for me though, which makes it worse.

Sir has been so good to me. Just holding me and helping me calm down (to not make it worse). Petting my head. Piling me up with my sweater and blankets and his hoodie so I can smell him and not feel so cold. Helping me get around the house when my balance seemed out of whack. Carrying things for me. He even let me have THREE Oreos from the cabinet (and I didn't ask for any) (and they weren't on the list of foods I can't eat). Just letting me cuddle on him while we watched comedy to take my mind off of it.

He is a good Sir, and I am lucky to be his submissive.


  1. Panic attacks are no fun. i suffered from panic attacks, anxiety, and depression for a long time. After reading your blog (just finished after going back to the beginning), i feel like we are very similar. Thank you so much for writing and for following me so i could find you. :-)

    1. I'm sorry anxiety affected you too.

      I feel like we have a lot in common as well. I look forward to learning more about you and your dynamic!


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