March Questions: World's Best

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Spectacular Snow Day

Yesterday was fantastic.

We got hit by the Nor'Easter. I didn't go into work (with my boss' full approval) and instead worked a little from home. After I realized I wasn't going in, I crawled back into bed to cuddle with Sir for a few more hours. He got a call right as I was getting in bed that his job was completely closed. Score! Snow Day!! Together!!!

We both got up leisurely from our morning cuddle. I went to complete some things for work that I had to get done, and it also made me feel less guilty for staying home (though it was totally the right decision; my coworker spun out and had to get a tow when she tried to go in- she is thankfully okay).

Sir then got a call we'd been hoping for: He got offered a job! He's been interviewing for months to find a job that was A) Anywhere that is NOT his current job because his boss is a Grade-A Douchenozzle, and B) Closer to where I work so we can move and ease our commutes.

This job fits both those things! It's an hour and a half closer to my job!! Once he starts there, his commute will go from 70 minutes to about 45. Then we can move hopefully before this summer, and his commute should go to about a half-hour, and there is even a bus!! Once we move, my commute will go from 90+ minutes to about 30. I am very excited for this potential. I can stop spending literally 3-4 hours of my day, everyday in my freaking car. Squeeee!

Him getting this news was just so fantastic not just for our future but for his whole being. I could see the anxiety, stress, and frustration leeching out of him. There's benefits, and while it is a pay cut, it is enough for us to get by. Plus after moving, we won't be hemorrhaging gas money, either.

This news had Sir on top of his game yesterday too, making sure everything was getting shoveled out. He went out there and would not let me go help! I have been the one doing a lot of the shoveling since he'd been at work. It was a nice refreshing change. I got to revel in him being stereotypically manly, and making him hot chocolate.

He was in such a good mood when he got back in, he brushed and bound my hair while we watched Secretary. We do love that movie! Definitely getting a lot of mileage out of the DVD. This hair binding, though, was particularly weird. He used a very thick rope that I think we've only used once for hair bondage. He had a lot of extra rope, so he double, or even triple bound it in spots. It was very heavy. While it did put me in a submissive space, I don't think it was very aesthetically pleasing.

After the movie, I made us a banging dumpling soup, and then to celebrate our big news we had: Booze n Brownies n BJs Night! We weren't going out in the storm so I made a tin of brownies and we boozed it up while cuddling and hanging out watching John Oliver, haha.

Afterwards, Sir finally got to fully unwind with a nice BJ.


What a truly refreshing and relaxing day!

Lucky Number Seven!

Seven scintillating years with Sir! We had a pretty good day today, and a decent weekend too.

Friday night Sir had me bring him some gaming stuff he forgot at home to him at his local gaming store. I ended up bringing some food too, and we had a little date night. We played Photosynthesis - such a visually beautiful and fun game. It is deceptively complex. Definitely recommended!

Love this game!

Sir had work on Saturday. But today, he was off. Last night he chained me to the bed, something he hasn't done in a very long time. He also tied my hands together and had me sleep like that. This morning he undid the chains, and I "got" to make him breakfast.

Part of my sarcastic, sassy ass shot back "Get to? Like it's some honor or something?"

I definitely wasn't fully awake. Sir simply said, "yes", and went to take a shower. We both knew I was going to get up and do it. I made him some Ham and Eggs.

I got better once I had food and tea in me. We had a nice little breakfast and talked about our relationship. Sir is changing a few of my rules, all of which officially pertain to my dress code. We don't have the necessary items as of yet to make these changes immediately though. Sir had a quick appointment to get to, so I bathed while he was out.

When he got back, I was all cozy on the couch in my bathrobe with my towel still on my head. After a bit of a cuddle, we went into the bedroom. In the winter especially, I usually put lotion all over my body after bathing. Well, Sir decided he was going to apply it. He got me on the bed, and tied my hands. Then he had me lay face down.

Putting that lotion on was definitely an experience. Because it is so cold, I felt like it was almost like reverse wax play! I have a pump lotion bottle, so Sir would decide where he would let the lotion drip, straight from the bottle. Each time the lotion hit my body was a little intense. It could have been worse. I told Sir, "You could have put that bottle in the fridge first!"

Sir was nice after that though, and made sure to warm that lotion up, rubbing it into my skin, all over my body. Across my back, into the flesh of my ass, down my thighs and calves. He had me turn over,  chained me to the spreader bar, and repeated that process on my chest, down my abdomen, and again on my thighs and shin.

The thing about freshly applied lotion: it makes the skin sting when spanked, almost like being wet! Sir definitely drove that point home making my legs and ass sting! With the spreader bar, he could get into the sides of my thighs, that does have a bit of an impact! We had a nice little fuck after that; it had been a pretty long time for Sir (with me being away and all). I like looking up into his eyes while he is teasing me; I revel in feeling his power over me. My legs and hips were jello-y after; its been awhile that we've used the spreader bar. Even with the discomfort I always tell Sir: I think we need a longer one!

Sir had made us dinner reservations for a lovely Nepalese restaurant that we went to for Valentine's day last year. I was so thrilled he did that! Before we went, he wrapped my hair a little:

I like the way it looks like this; just a hint.
If he had done the whole thing; we'd have been there for hours and missed our meal!

I was happy he did my hair like this. Just a little thing between me and him, and maybe a tiny hint for the public, if they know what to be looking for?

We had a fantastic dinner at the restaurant, we definitely enjoyed the meal. Perhaps too much. We came home to cuddle and be sloths and digest on the couch, listening to The Cranberries (sad news, that).

It was a good celebration of our love. We're in a good place, and I'm so excited for what the future will bring us!

Happy seven years, Sir!

Have a Little Faith

I need to stop being such a Negative Nancy. Things are good. Why do I dwell on the downsides?

We've been having a bunch of issues with stuff that are undoubtedly first world problems. Oh, the cable people didn't ring the doorbell when they came so we have to wait an entire day for TV, and our plans are on hold. Oh, the store didn't have the things I wanted to buy. Things that should be minor. We have food. We have a roof over our heads. We have heat and electricity. We now have good incomes and bills are paid. We even have enough for some niceties (though the cable thing - it was actually cheaper to get a package with TV over just internet).

I was having a bad night a couple of days ago and it was spiraling. Sir wasn't going to be home for hours. I was trying to get housework done, feeling overwhelmed. I was worrying about work issues. i was thinking about the house and never catching up. I was dwelling on what he had said about his job. I was thinking about our D/s... or lack thereof. I got really heated and upset, feeling like I should just throw in the towel and accept that we are now vanilla and we will always be vanilla and because other things in the relationship are great (don't throw the baby out with the bathwater), I better figure out how to deal... I even wrote a pretty scathing rant on here that I didn't post. I'm glad I had the sense not to. I was in the heat of my feelings in that moment, and honestly things are not all doom and gloom.

So I decided to cut the shit. If you want it to be better, make it better! Make YOU better. A while ago I wrote wondering whose responsibility it was to rekindle a D/s relationship. Obviously it is both persons. As the submissive, however, I do have the... expectation, I suppose, that the Dominant will lead. But that doesn't mean I should just wait around, like I have been prone to do in the past. I can be proactive and anticipate the situation and prepare accordingly. So, I decided to get off my ass and tidy up the bedroom (it was pretty bad). I turned on the radio for some background noise and at that exact moment NPR was having a talk about expressing gratitude. Take a moment and be thankful for what you have. I needed to hear that, and it it is something I am going to try and work on. Sir and I have so many great things going for us; I really shouldn't let the negative weigh us down and go nuclear over trivial things.

After cleaning, I checked our location app to see what time Sir should be home, so I could have dinner ready and hot for his arrival. I styled my hair in a way he finds appealing. And I put on a nice satin dress. Something about dressing for his pleasure gets me in the right frame of mind. Funnily enough, I was trying to put this dress on, and I hear him pull into the driveway. So it was a mad dash to get myself into it and not looking unkempt. In that effort, I didn't have time for underthings; I just threw the dress right on. I was kicking my slipper socks off as Sir was walking in.

Sir noticed right away and appreciated my efforts with my appearance, with dinner, with the house. And it turned it all right around. We ate together and it wasn't until the meal was over that he noticed I had no underthings on! This is something he has mentioned he likes in the past, the idea of me wearing something nice but there is no bra, no panties, nothing underneath. I think it jumpstarted his brain again. Things are good. We don't have to stress. We can start reintroducing some of the missing pieces of our D/s lives back. We had been talking for weeks about how certain things have been lacking, but I try my best not to harp on it (though it can be difficult for me). He is the Dominant, it is up to him to decide and me to follow. I can help, though.

And I think the effort and gratitude is what we needed. I need to have Faith that it will work out, if I make the effort.

Help comes to those who help themselves. Things will get better but I have to make an effort. And I think it IS helping us.

I think Sir has been feeling more confident. Maybe I showed him that I want to be his, that I want to make the effort, and that has helped his mental state?

In the past few days, Sir has brought out my big collar again. He made me sleep with it on the past couple of nights, too. He even made me wear it in the car on the trip to/from his mother's house! He has restarted spanking my ass at night before bed. He's been more demanding in service during the day. He has corrected my speech and behavior to his wishes... just, simple things that make me feel more like us. Pulling me aside and kissing me at random times during the day holding me in place until he is finished.

I'm glad we're getting back on track. I just need to keep reminding myself of what would please him and make him happy.

I just needed to have a little faith in Sir.

Sir's Confidence and Evening Rituals

Sir being back to work is a blessing in many ways. Of course, there is the big one: financially. Forget buying upgraded foods or getting fancy toys or going places - we're excited to pay bills and reduce our debts. I reworked our budget spreadsheet and actually felt giddy.

Another big blessing is how it is helping Sir. Having work in his field has really helped his psyche and it shows. He is more confident at home and more easily dominant over me. He is growing as a person too, having to adjust to this new schedule and new environment and deal with new people outside his comfort zone (read: fancy rich people). It is helping him to think about other long term goals as well; additional certifications, long term job prospects and environments.

Sir started a new little ritual for us. It was going to be every day, but then he got his work schedule. Every day after we both get home from work, Sir had me sit in our bedroom in front of him. He would brush my hair and we'd talk about our day. Then he would put a little bind in it. I would wear it either until we went to bed (if we had work in the morning - taking it out takes time), or until the next day sleeping in it.

It is a really lovely way to connect after a long day, and to serve him by wearing my hair. Sleeping in it is difficult, so it is a nice service for Sir. I find my service more meaningful when things aren't easy. We're probably only going to be doing this on our weekends since by the time Sir gets home from work, there is about an hour before bed. Still, it is a nice little ritual between us.

Hair Bondage Silhouette

New Year's Day, Sir beautifully bound my hair.

Here is another shot he took of me standing at our front door. I like how the light is coming from the window through the curtains, almost silhouetting my hair. I enjoy the halo of our Christmas Wreath still on our door. I enjoy how fluffy my exposed hair is, highlighting the constraint.

And of course, I enjoyed Sir first brushing my hair, then so tightly binding it, trying out a gift I gave him for Christmas. I suppose it was a gift for me, too.

Sinful Sunday Monthly Prompt: 

Windows.

Click the lips to see who
else is posting this week!

Hair Bound for the New Year

New Year's Day. Sir and I had a bit of a lie-in since we got home from the party pretty late (well, late for us, haha).

Upon waking, Sir said that my hair looked like it could be brushed. Would I like him to brush my hair?

I wasn't fully awake and not making sense at first.

"Make your choice... this is a limited time offer," he said in a singsong voice.

Well, I certainly wasn't going to refuse such an offer; I love having my hair played with, touched, brushed,.. pretty much anything.

I jumped up out of bed to grab my hairbrush.

It was sitting on the windowsill in the bathroom. Upon handing it to Sir, he noticed that it was cold. He certainly used that to his advantage, pressing it to my sides, shocking me into being awake, then lulling me back into that dreamy haze by using those long strokes of the hairbrush, teeth scraping my back as my hair became untangled. I certainly enjoyed every stroke of that brush.

"Do you know what is going to happen now?"

I wasn't. Maybe make breakfast, clean something, start sucking?

"Whatever you tell me to do, Sir?"

"Well, that's a given. You're going to put your hair into a ponytail."

...I am? I am! My brain clicked into place and I finally realized what was probably going to happen. I darted back to the bathroom to grab a hair tie and put my hair up.

For Christmas, I had given Sir two 16-foot lengths of purple paracord as a stocking stuffer. It was sitting pretty at the craft store, and I figured I should get *something* kinky for him for Christmas, right?

I felt Sir take the paracord and start lacing it around my ponytail. This of course attracted the interest of our cat. How dare we use string and not invite his highness!

All string belongs to me, humans.

I did my best to keep my head straight while  keeping kitty away from the paracord. Several times Sir had to yank on my hair and remind me to stay still. 

I enjoyed the feeling of the paracord whipping against my back as Sir made loops around my hair. I enjoyed feeling the initial ponytail become tight against my head. I loved feeling the weight slowly being added. I wore it all day and right now it feels natural, as if it's part of me.

When Sir had completed his work, he had another task for me.

"Do you know what you are going to do now? You are going to suck my dick."

After Sir took a quick shower, I got to work, licking and sucking him. I was really into it this morning, despite me being silly (but what else is new).

"Bitch, if you're not already, get yourself wet."

Sir had me get on top and ride him. This morning I felt electrified as if I had goosebumps everywhere. Everything tingled.

"Come for me...You better come for me. If you don't, I am going to punish you, you hear me? Come for me."

Hearing that is almost like encouragement rather than a deterrent. Which I suppose it's meant to be. I think my brain treats it more like permission and gets more into it over worrying about what will happen if I don't finish. I suppose it removes my inhibitions about certain things, so I can enjoy it more.

I did come, and it was intense. Not sure if it was loud. We recently got new neighbors upstairs, but fuck it, we are who we are I guess. After I finished, I resumed riding Sir until he unceremoniously flipped me over, fucking me until he came. Wonderful. Sir has a hard time finishing while using a condom so I felt such joy that he was obviously enjoying himself as much as I was. I am also sporting an enormous hickey on my shoulder.

We'll soon be done with these stupid condoms. I finally got my birth control and will be starting on Sunday.

After letting me lay a bit since my legs felt like Jell-O, Sir had me rise to make breakfast. I got my apron on and whipped up some bacon and eggs. Sir spent time studying and I've been cleaning the house of all the holiday mess.

I adore my hair, thank you Sir!

What a lovely way to start 2016!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to any and all who celebrate! Though it's been a really difficult year, Sir and I have been blessed in so many ways.

I had my tooth extracted a few days ago. Though that is never a fun thing; the process was quick. It wasn't quite painless, but my fabulous dentist had that sucker out before Sir could even settle in for what he and I thought was going to be a long wait. The kicker for me is that they didn't prescribe me any pain medicine. They told me just to take "whatever over the counter stuff you usually take".

I've never had an extraction where my dentist didn't try to ease that pain a little, so it was a bit of a shocker for me. I've been taking ibuprofen, and the PM version when applicable and I've been doing okay. A few times the pain has been a bit much for me though. I'm definitely not a pain wimp (or a pain slut for that matter), but extreme mouth pain is not something I handle well.

Sir has been absolutely amazing. He has been taking great care of me. Because of my big dental anxiety I was prescribed Valium before the procedure, so he got me up, ready, drove me over there, and waited like a champ while I had this thing pulled. Afterwards he brought my loopy self to get medicine, went to the market to get all soft foods, and then put me to bed when we got home and put everything away. My appointment was around 10 o clock, by 11:30 we were home, and I slept until after 8 pm. When I got up he made me some soup and just kept me company for a few hours until I went back to sleep.

He has had a break from his school program so we've spent the whole week together. Finishing up holiday shopping, cleaning, and actually being around each other for more than a few hours per day. It's been a good thing.

Last night he decided we should see Star Wars again. He made an "executive decision" while I was in the shower and bought tickets online. I went with it, even though I had apprehensions since it was Christmas Eve and we had much to do, and we don't exactly have a lot of disposable income right now (plus the tickets were bought, and well, he said so, so what else could I do?). We had a good time. He brought a spoon and got me an Icee so I could have a movie snack. After the movie we went to pick up some cat essentials since our kitty is going to be alone for a couple of days... but we live in Central PA and it was Christmas Eve. We had to go to 3 stores all at the opposite corners of town to find a place that was open. I was initially really pissed off, thinking... what should you do when your Dom clearly makes the wrong decision?

Well, you should get over yourself and go with it. Because it all worked out in the end, and second guessing and throwing anger around solved nothing. We found everything we needed. We still had time to come home and have a nice dinner together. And me sulking and lashing out helped not one bit. What I should have done was what I initially did. Voice my opinion in a calm manner, let him make his choice, and then just go with it. I did the first part, it's the second part I should have scrapped (the anger and seething when we were having a hard time). Hopefully I will learn for next time.

We had our first Christmas together; just me and him. Lovely candlelit dinner with the Yule Log on. We sat after dinner and just enjoyed each other's company. Talked about the past year. Got up for Christmas morning, had breakfast, did gifts, sat and enjoyed more Yule Log. Sir was extremely thoughtful in his gift-giving. We each came up with a budget for each other. We each went over by a little bit.

Sir and I got a lot of thoughtful things for each other, but my clear favorite from him is this Minecraft baby sheep plush, now oh so cleverly named Sheepie. I asked Sir if we could bring him with us on our road trip (he said yes).

We've since made our way to New Jersey to visit with his family and it's been lovely. His mom spoiled us; truly. And just seeing her is a great thing. I know Sir misses his mother more than he probably lets on, and she definitely misses him with us being so far. A friend of her's actually put us up in a hotel for a couple of nights so we could visit together without being a burden on her already over-encumbered house. Another great blessing.

Before I try to get to sleep (I think this Advil PM is finally doing its job), I wanted to share my new hair, because I love it, I'm really excited, I just realized that pic with Sheepie is the first I'd posted of it (and it's just the top of my head), and Sir told me that I'm allowed to be pleased by my own appearance; I can be proud of my hair!

Now that I'm on winter hiatus from work, I don't have to conform to normal hair color for the next couple of months. Having brightly colored hair is a joy of mine, one I haven't had in at least 7 years.

I started with something simple, just a little taste:

Just a little stripe of purple in the front of my head. Once I had that taste though, I really wanted more. So, as of last week my head is now red on top (fading to pink) and purple at the tips. I am totally in love with it. I hadn't dyed my hair in years! And for my first time attempting something like this, I'm pleased and proud.

Sir likes it too, and has indicated that he'd really love more purple. He's usually pretty indifferent when it comes to my hair (other than brush it and don't cut it), so I'm even more excited!

Merry Christmas! I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday!

Don't Trim Your Tree, Trim Your Submissive

I think I'm finally up to decorating our place for the holidays. It's been difficult before; Christmas music and the thought of the holiday makes me melancholy.

Sir helped me take out our decorations and tree and we got to decorating.

But not the tree - yet.

Hope you're all starting to have a good holiday season, no matter what you celebrate!

This was inspired by the 

Sinful Sunday Prompt: 

Festive.

Renewal

Sir finally decided to make the renewal of our relationship "official" - at least for us.

This is what I am currently wearing around my neck as a symbol of my service to him:

New collar. As an aside, I'm totally loving my purple hair.

I have worn a chain around my neck before, as a punishment in a way. Because I needed an attitude adjustment. I thought about it much and did my best to accomplish it in the spirit that Sir had intended. I hope that I can accomplish this again.

I was taking a bath the other night when Sir came into the bathroom.

"When you are finished with your bath, I want you to come find me."

Gulp.

I was immediately nervous. When I was done with my bath I came to him before anything else - no dressing or drying off.

When I came into the office, I saw that on his computer screen was my previous post about who should re-initiate a D/s relationship.

My anxiety magnified tenfold.

He asked me, "Are you nervous?"

"Yes, of course I am!"

"Why?"

"...Because you're going to do ... something!"

"What am I going to do?"

"I... I don't know!"

I think that is the biggest part of anxiety - the not knowing.

"You have my post up there like it's on purpose for me to see; of course I'm nervous!"

"It is on purpose."

Part of me overthinks and over-analyzes and wonders if all this was prompted soley because of my post. Sir likes getting into my head, but I don't want to try and manipulate situations through him reading my blog. I should just get over myself though. If he didn't want to take action; he wouldn't. The blog is just another tool for him to take a peek  in my brain.

At this point he grabbed my wrists and pulled me over his lap, proceeding to spank my ass. I started counting in my head while I was wiggling around and he made it to over 130 before he stopped and had me stand before him.

He took out the chain and secured it around my neck, pressing a kiss there once he was finished.

Then he yanked me over his lap and beat my ass some more.

When he was done, he told me to get a paper and a pen. To start some dictation.

The seven year old in me wanted to giggle. But I got the paper and pen.

He had me write the following per his instructions, and read it back to him a few times:


1. I will sleep naked unless on my period or given permission to do otherwise.

2. I will wear the collar that has been provided to me by my Sir.

3. I will maintain the house to the best of my ability. Specific circumstances and events which may interfere with that task will be approved by Sir.

4. I will greet my Sir when he comes home in a submissive and respectful manner.

For number three, I helped him rework it a few times so it made grammatical sense. I asked him too many questions about how each of the rules would play out, so he added this:

5. I will obey the rules that are given to me in the spirit in which they are given and I will not nitpick about technicalities.


It's been a few days. Sleeping naked is an adjustment, but it's not as hard as I thought. I think it will be more difficult when it gets colder. Yesterday it was in the 50's, which is unseasonably warm for December in Pennsylvania. I keep a set of pajamas by the bed so I don't freeze when I wake up. I ask Sir for permission to put them on while in the house.

I need to work on greeting Sir when he comes home. That was a rule introduced.... before. I think this is the one that will take most of my attention.

Having the chain is a joy for me. It helps me get in the right mindset. It's different than before. I do feel like I have the chain because I'm not ready for a proper collar yet, like before. But I feel less punitive about it this time. Things went awry, and we have to build ourselves back up. We can pick up and move on, but I don't think we can just pick up right were we left off before - too much has happened, too much has fallen. Though I am in control of my actions, I think given the circumstances of why things went south, I don't feel like I am being punished. It's not so much that I lost my submissive nature; it's just that everything else was sucked out of me, submission included. I've been running at bare subsistence level and it's time to build that up. The chain as a collar is a first step in that direction; that's what it means to me. It's more controlled by the environment; temperature and the like. It's got holes. But over time perhaps I will fill those holes in my heart and my submission and work my way back.

Sir said if I do well, perhaps a new collar is in order. I hope I can become worthy of that.

Definite Hair Progress

I've been growing my hair out for years now. Definitely since meeting Sir, but probably a bit before then too - just not as purposefully.

Today I had a day off from work due to the Easter Holiday. I used it to relax and pamper myself. I took a really long bath, did my feet and toenails, did my fingernails, and I also straightened my hair. My hair has a bit of a natural wave to it, so I like to use a flat-iron to straighten it when I can. I don't do this regularly - it is too much for me and a work routine in the morning. I was meeting Sir at his place of employment so I wanted to look extra spiffy.

I haven't straightened my hair in a few months, but today was a great day to do it! I got to see some real progress on how my hair is growing. Sir likes long hair and I've been growing it for him for over 4 years. We've had some setbacks - major split ends and unhealthiness causing many inches to be cut and a stylist who cut wayyy too much off last year. But today, my hair is nearing my hips! A few months ago, I couldn't cover my own breasts with my hair. But today I can!

I'm going to go for a really short trim (1/8 inch) soon to keep my hair healthy and continue the progress!

Catsuit Ropework

I've had a little catsuit for a couple of years now. It was originally meant for some cosplay that I no longer remember. So it has sat in my closet unused, and then brought to our new apartment, where it has sat, still unused and taking up space.

Not any longer!

Sir had me throw it on the other day, and put a quick tie over my body. I quite liked it! I think I may want to investigate bondage suits like this more!

I hope we try this again soon. I think the catsuit would be very helpful for rope classes as well. Last time, I wore a skirt and it definitely got in the way!

GKE Sunday

Geeky Kink Event - Part Deux!

After getting back to our hotel room on Sat night/Sun evening, and Sir torturing me with the gag, we had a good sleep. We got up on little sleep, having stayed up till the wee hours. Since I was so good, Sir decided he would bind my hair for me. We did it in pigtails!

We found the loveliest rope from Agreeable Agony on Saturday just for this purpose! We had some pretty skinny hemp rope, but this had even less circumference, held tighter, and had the best results. We bought 120 feet of red  MFP rope, in 2 sections. We had about 30 feet total left over, I would guess. 

It took almost 2 hours to bind my hair like this, but I really enjoyed it. It is a very striking visual. Its application is very intimate between Sir and I - and it highlights one of his loves - my long growing hair. He also enjoyed the many compliments we received on his work! Someone even remarked that they kind of look like horns, which, now that I can see the back myself - isn't too far off. It wasn't the original intent, but it does have such a resemblance. We went back to Agreeable Agony and bought another 120 feet in grey! 1/8 inch apparently does the trick!

The people at the booth were really nice, especially considering the pain in the ass quantity of rope we wanted. They also very nicely taught sir a new and improved method for coiling his rope, which is definitely better than what we'd been doing. Exchanges like that is part of the reason why doing things in person can be very beneficial.

While Sir was binding my hair, I decided to show him that I can do what he does too!  So I took the extra rope that didn't go into my hair and made these arm braces:

I used the same tie that he was doing on my hair to make them. The red goes well with my pretty dress. <3

We went to some pretty nifty workshops, and Sir let me go back into the ball pit, which is so my favorite thing. I think there is a bit of a little in me. I don't think we're quite into full on ageplay, but I do have a little side in me. And a brat side too. I think they're parts of the same coin. I'd guess my little side is maybe 6 or 7ish - old enough to be potty trained, but young enough to brat and whine and regress. And seek protection and lurve from a big strong guy. <3

Hooray Ballpit:

Sir and I in the ballpit.

Such a sexy Sir.

We bought a lot of fun things this weekend, spoke with neat people, learned new skills and information, and really opened communication on our needs.  And I think this time we've really taken physical steps to get there. Since it'll be a year till the next GKE, I'm going to start getting excited about Wicked Faire..... NOW!

Movement and GKE

I have internet again!

I recently moved, and its been quite a process. Finding a place, painting and renovations, the actual move, and now: unpacking and setting things up. I love decorating and such, so this has been fun, though tiring. Sir and I still live in separate homes, but this move overall is great for me. Bigger better space. Wonderful neighborhood. Closer to work! Less gas and no tolls!

Sir and I are still an hour apart, which isn't great, but at least we're not farther apart. We are planning on getting a place together in  a different state, in about a year or so. Realistically - probably two years. Though I'd rather it be this summer.

I've now had three work-free weekends, and I have to say; it's wonderful. The first weekend was the move. Then Sir and I went to the Geeky Kink Event (which was awesome). Then we had this past weekend together (also awesome). Perhaps we can actually spend time together if I'm not working 6 - 7 days a week!

I had such a great time at the Geeky Kink Event! Initially, I was ridiculously nervous. I nearly had a panic attack while packing. I didn't even pre-pack because somehow in my brain, not packing meant not going yet, and then I don't have to freak out if we're not going  yet. Sir was displeased, as one of our rules states that I will be ready if we're to leave for an event before he arrives. He has been much better about making me accountable, and less lenient - though he does give me a reprieve now and again if there's a really good reason.

I'm still uncomfortable with my sexuality and how I define myself. Every day, I get better and more accepting of myself, my desires, and the type of relationship that I want, but it's been a struggle. Couple that with going to a publicly Kinky event, and my heart starts to race in a bad way. I don't know if it was officially labeling myself to "the world" as something to which I'm still becoming comfortable, or the possibility of being outed, but I think my fears can rest. Firstly, no one at such an event is going to harshly judge me and my proclivities. Secondly, while I did meet someone at this event from my vanilla life, I doubt that its going to lead to bad stuff in my vanilla life. For one, they were also there, and their main link to my life is as a sibling to someone I know that would have no personal gain from screwing with me, and has been a good friend in the past.

Once we got there, I calmed down. Mostly. There was a bonfire that I crept close to for warmth. Sir stayed by me, and we socialized a bit. Saw vendors.

Saturday I got my nerd on and wore a Kaylee Frye dress that I altered a few months ago. There were so many neat workshops! And... the ball pit! Easily the most fun thing for me. The workshops were very informative, and I learned a lot. Sir and I went to a Fast Rope workshop in the evening, and by the end of it frustrations came out that forced us to talk more about our relationship. Not that we don't talk - but some of the topics weren't previously expressed in such a clear way. Though the venue and mechanism for this talk weren't ideal - in the middle of a con due to frustrations in a workshop - I don't regret it. Sir was having trouble with some of the rope mechanics. The point of the workshop was communicating intent, but since he was so focused on rope mechanics, that part was lost for us. Things escalated quickly and a recurring issue of us not spending enough time together (coming out because if we spent more time together, he'd have more practice and be better able to do stuff like this), came to a head. He was just frustrated because it brought to light how we haven't been spending enough time together. It allowed us to talk and for me to express my hurt. I gave up my weekend job and volunteer position so that we could have more time together. It was very difficult for me to do so, and I still miss the work. But he's worth it. And, having that time to reconnect takes... well time. With more available weekends, things will get better. It hasn't been long, but I think they are getting better. We also talked about my need for continuity and D/s things during the week. He finally checked his messages (that I sent back in June), to help him with ideas in this vein. I don't want to top from the bottom, but I do want to help him. No need to reinvent all the wheels if there are resources out there. It's only been a week, but I think we're finally headed in the right direction. He's reviewing and possibly revising my old rules, and I have noticed him being much more on his game, even in the past few weeks.

Sir was able to find a ball gag that actually fit into my mouth as well! It's a training gag, so there are 3 different sizes. The smallest one was small enough to get into my mouth. Perhaps with time, I could get to the middle sized gag. I don't think the large one is ever going to fit, though. Sir is so pleased with the gag. He's wanted to gag me forever, and since I have an anatomically small mouth, that's been difficult to do with most products that were on the market. He's tried some DIY stuff, but for reasons other than the gag itself, it didn't go well. Getting back to the hotel room and trying it out was an experience. I am very talkative, so it was difficult for me to not talk. It was also funny, as I still tried to talk - it was just incomprehensible. Sir says that I am more willing to let go and vocalize in a non worded manner when gagged, which he likes. What was most frustrating of all though - I couldn't kiss him! I love kissing. He made sure to kiss me all over my face and body, and especially on my lips, as it was driving me crazy. I think he's got a fun new way to torture me. There are downsides to the gag though - the straps really bite into the corners of my mouth, and I fear saliva going everywhere. Drool isn't really sexy. I have enough leverage to more or less prevent myself from drooling, but if we get to the bigger gag, that leverage will be gone.

I'll write more about Sunday of GKE later (don't want to turn this into a full-on novel), but I'll end with this:

We did get something out of the Fast Rope Workshop after all! (the presenter was excellent, the issues were our own). I was able to do this to myself behind my back! Sir is usually the one doing all the ties, but I was able to show him my capability this weekend.

Also, if you know you're going to rope bottom, know that wearing a dress will lead to inevitable bunching and fabric awkwardness.

Photo Post

I meant to add some photos to  this post a week ago. Just getting around to it now.

So, a couple of weeks ago, Sir bound my hair into a handle:

Bound with a ring!

Not just pretty, but useful too!

Sir then handcuffed me, took my head and hooked me to the top of his over-door coat rack.

I had to remain on my tip-toes or feel like my hair was going to be ripped out of my skull. I liked this intro into predicament bondage.

Sir also forcibly beat my ass all over the room with his hand and various implements until it was a lovely shade of pink. He manually restrained me in an upright position. I really enjoyed feeling just how much stronger he is than me; for him to be able to overpower me in such a fashion. He also clamped my nipples. He took photos of those too that I'd like to post, but even edited my nudity is just for him.

I suppose I am a bit of an exhibitionist. Good thing he's here to keep me in check! One more way I can submit to him.

Rollercoaster BDSM

This weekend had its ups and downs, but overall it was oh so good. I haven’t had much time to spend with Sir as of late; a few hours here, an evening there… but nothing long lasting.

We got that this weekend, and Sir was so very kind to me. I worked 12 hours on Saturday until 9 o' clock, jetted home to eat, take a shower, and pack a few things, and then I made the hour’s drive up to my Dirty Old Man.

Usually when we’ve spent so much time apart, Sir and his not so little sir are anxious to see me and raring to go. I am usually exhausted, like I was on Saturday night. They’re usually ever so persistent and we typically end up reconnecting as soon as humanly possible. Sir wanted to be thoughtful, however, and he let me sleep uninterrupted the whole night, because he said that I needed the sleep more than he needed me at the moment. I am grateful for those restful hours of sleep, and the warm cuddly comfort of his arms that I missed. I just hope that he wasn’t too deprived; I like to meet his needs, and it can be fun when he wakes me up in that special way of his.

In the morning, Sir was quick to make up for lost time. For our anniversary, I gave him some lovely red hemp rope from VenusRopes, and he used it to bind my hair. I always feel so spoiled when he does this, but he assures me he enjoys it just as much as I do. And my hair is growing! I got a 25 foot rope a few months ago, but I probably need to purchase 35 or 40 feet for the length my hair is currently (we’re aiming at the moment to get to at least my hips; right now my hair is just past my nipples).

A picture of my lovely bound hair:

Afterwards, Sir informed me that we would be trying something that we’ve talked about for awhile – gags. We have a problem with gags because I have an abnormally small mouth, and haven’t been able to find a suitable ball gag for me. He used a piece of cut up fabric (a new sock, of all things) and used some athletic tape around my head to secure it. He tried using the athletic tape on its own, but it did not restrict my speech enough. I found this to be extremely uncomfortable, and not in just a strain sort of way. My eyes felt like I had a lot of pressure behind them, my chin was forced down into my neck, my jaw was hurting, and my lips were being forcibly bitten by my teeth. I think most of this was worsened by the fact that my hair was bound; 25 feet of rope is heavy. Sir could see that I was NOT liking this, and after several questions he told me that I could choose to get it removed, but I had to choose right now. On or off.

This made me really upset. I wasn’t in immediate danger. I could breathe. But I did feel uneasy, as though something potentially COULD happen with this strained position. I think now that my response should have been “yellow”, but in the moment I couldn’t think of that. I could only think of the looming choices. Power through this even though I feel uneasy, or make the choice to end it, and thus FAIL at this task.

Failure.

I’ve written about it before, but I have a huge problem with failure. I started to tear up, and eventually my eyes started to leak. I could not bring myself to make the decision to end it, and thus be a failure at this task. Sir misinterpreted my tears (as I could not speak) and thought that we were hitting an unknown limit of mine with the gag. I don’t think this was the case, and I do think we should try again with different circumstances. He decided to cut me free, and I just felt like a wretched pile of human. I just wanted to curl up in a ball of misery in the corner of the bed. Sir did permit me a bit of that; he allowed me to cry it out while he held me and reassured me of everything. Eventually I calmed down.

Then Sir made a really good choice in choosing to continue our session, but choosing a different tack. He chose something else that is new for us; thus giving me an opportunity to succeed at something else. This did take the sting away from my perceived failure (He does not see it as such, and insists that he has much to learn as well).

After a few light warm up swats, he had me lay on my stomach, and he proceeded to spank me. This isn’t something we’ve really done before; it’s pretty new territory for us. I’m VERY new at it, and he has some experience in his previous relationship which was a very long time ago... but for us, I think we’ve tried it once or twice before. I found that I was really enjoying it. The feel of his hand; the sting, him soothing the burn after while stroking my bottom. Then he brought out something I forgot he purchased. I could hear him fumbling around in our play bag, but wasn’t sure for what. And then –

WHAM!

It wasn’t actually THAT hard, but it was much harder than his hand. He had purchased this ENORMOUS paddle while we were together ages ago, and I forgot all about it. I think its original intent was for paddleball or ping pong, but this thing is BIG. He seemed to be enjoying himself, and he said he loved the pretty red color on my ass. He even took a picture, a rarity for him (which I can’t show; he has a rule for me about public nude photos).

When he was done with my backside, he flipped me over and started on my front, lightly swatting my breasts. He enjoys the way it makes me squirm, and the response my nipples have to it; it DOES make them quite sensitive and brings them to attention.

Eventually we reconnected as we’ve been so missing, and it was completely delicious. I missed him, and I needed him; it had been too long. What a crazy good weekend. BDSM does bring out a rollercoaster of emotions.

Oh, before I forget – a picture of this huge paddle:

I think even though it seems large and imposing, all of it doesn't connect upon striking... and that's a lot of air resistance as well!

Also, a picture of it in front of Sir’s head (and he does have quite a sizeable cranium!):

Have a great week!

I Love Rope

Goodness I’ve been busy. I took some time off to go on vacation (which was wonderful!), finished up my old job (today), and my new job starts on Monday. In the middle of all that insanity though, with the Dom I’ve had a realization.

I. Love. Rope.

Honestly, rope is just amazing. The way it’s restrictive and binding, the way it slides around your skin, the aesthetic; it’s just incredible. I love being tied up! There’s so many things you can do with it, and it creates a really personal and intimate feeling in different ways.

The Dom put me in my first hogtie recently, and it was just fantastic. He didn’t let me know what he was planning to do; he just gave me instructions. I really liked that. It was very enjoyable to listen to the quiet, yet assertive sound of his voice telling me what to do and complying. I was face down as he went to work on me. It was driving me crazy having him so close, pressing into me at times, while the rope would lightly slap my skin (which I love) as he completed his ties. Finally he connected my legs to my arms and the pieces clicked into place. I’m surprised it took me so long to realize what his intentions were, but I really enjoyed the anticipation. I loved being so restrained, the squirming - I really indented the rope into my skin with all my struggling, leaving rope indents on my limbs, which I found pleasing. I had some mobility in this tie; I was able to get onto my feet. A practical note however - remember that you CAN’T stand up when on your feet/knees. I know that sounds obvious; but I would just forget, and I actually tried standing up, unthinkingly, and went falling, crashing onto the floor/furniture. That certainly killed the mood, even though it was sort of funny. He was able to save the situation though, and got me back where I belonged.

A different but lovely experience is hair bondage. He loves my long hair, and I’m continuing to grow it out. Binding it is a different from a hogtie, or the other ties we’ve tried but it’s also a very close experience that I cherish. I will calmly sit at his feet as he intricately wraps my hair. I loved having my hair touched, so it’s very pleasant. It’s also a very intimate and personal thing to have someone touch your hair, and it’s something that I feel brings a new closeness to us; I feel very connected to him. It’s also very aesthetically appealing. The weight of the rope is heavy on my head, but I like it; wearing it for him. I get enjoyment knowing that he finds it pleasing, and the weight is like a bit of a reminder of him, wherever we go. When we go into public, this is one of the things we can do. It's exhilarating being "out there", yet it could just be a funny hairstyle to some.

Smaller Rope Hair Bondage.

Thicker rope hair bondage. You can also see the Big Bad Monster Collar. It's huge!