Wednesday, December 31, 2014

A New 2015

We're back from the Holiday Family Visit craziness (seriously, 8 Christmas visits in 4 days, 3 states, and a good 600 miles on my car). We have a New Year's Party tonight, and then we can finally relax from the Holiday insanity. Sir and I are doing better. After the day I lost my cool and flung my collar, we had a series of conversations that restructured things a bit. Fixing how our relationship works wasn't something that could be talked about quickly. We had a lot of talk before we left for Christmas, and a lot of time to talk in the 3 hour (each way) trip to see our families, plus traveling between homes.

Sir has decided to take on more responsibility in the home. He had  me make a list of all the things that I do around the house (and he was surprised by the length of the list). He took a bunch of items and made them his responsibility. I am struggling with letting him do them (it's hard not to, when you're used to handling everything). I am also trying to remind him gently, and give him quick tasks to help me faster when I'm doing the house.

I'm also to make a basic schedule for myself in hour-long increments and schedule in cooking, cleaning, relaxing, bath time, etc. Sir will change what he sees fit. I think this will help me because I am often in the house thinking: I don't know what to do. Even if there is nothing TO do. It is hard for me to accept that and just read or play a video game. I guess I feel like I always have to be productive or doing something. Hopefully that will change. Recharging my batteries is productive.

He's started revamping my rules. which lead to more conversation. They'll go officially into effect in 2015, though I'm starting to follow them now. He's included mandatory time for me to decompress and relax, a bedtime, a relaxation/back exercise time before bed. He's also reinstated my dress code, which is proving challenging. He's also for the first time ever, included an orgasm rule, in that I must climax at least 3 times per week (not including any orgasms given by Sir). Perhaps this will help me feel more sexy and help with my libido issues. He's still editing the rules with all our conversations about our relationship, my needs/wants, his needs/wants, and my abilities/limits.

It is hard for me to accept that I cannot do everything. It is hard for me to ask for help. But I am one person and I cannot do everything. I was letting it make me feel like a failure, or as not being a good submissive, but I need to recognize that I have limitations. I need to have time for me, in order to be a good submissive. If I don't have downtime, I will burn out, and not be able to serve Sir anyway. This was something that Tamar helped me realize. Sir is not a jerk who demands me do everything and him nothing, but he doesn't always think about everything to the fullest extent. It is something of a pet peeve of mine (being that my brain almost never turns off), but I recognize he's not actively trying to be a jerk or work me into the ground. As soon as we realized what was happening, he took immediate measures to make things better, and for that (and much more) I love him.

I can't wait to see what this New Year brings!

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Beating the Blues

Sir and I think that maybe some of what I'm feeling may be sub drop. I've been just down, achey, irritable and depressed. Maybe that helped contribute to the episode the other day, but for a couple of days I was just....dejected. Sir wrapped me up in a blanket, and let me be on the couch for the first time in weeks. He put on comedy specials, and we cuddled.

It helped, a lot.

This weekend I gave him a nice blowjob where he finished (usually he demands to finish with sex). The next day he spent the evening focused on me - beating my ass, tying me up, spreading me wide. I admit I got a little bit bratty while being tied up. But once he tied me, I was much more receptive. It's hard not to be when my choice is taken away.

I reveled in it and when Sir was done I was a puddle of goo. Sometimes I guess he just has to beat the blues out of me. That, followed with a good deep fucking and I feel like a new person.

I hope the effects last for awhile.

Monday, December 22, 2014

When I Flung the Collar

The other day, we had a "bad day". I'm not sure exactly what the trigger was - but at the end of the evening, when I had been working on the floor writing for about two hours, it was time for bed. I was achy, and exhausted, and realized that I couldn't go to bed yet. There was a sink full of dishes, food from dinner still out, I hadn't made lunch for Sir or myself, etc etc. Something just snapped in me.

I had just had it. I could feel the weight of my responsibilities all around me, and as they added up in my head, I felt like my collar was becoming tighter and tighter, until I couldn't take it. I was feeling like I do EVERYTHING around here, and vanilla girlfriend brain was really fighting to keep cool.

It seemed like for the first time, I could feel the weight of my submission in the collar around my neck. And it was uncomfortable. But... should submission be comfortable? I think there is an argument for either case. Submission is hard work, and hard work can be arduous and uncomfortable. But over time, the things that were new, weird, and uncomfortable, become familiar, and comforting. I just don't think I'm there yet. I think part of it is that sometimes I don't feel I'm supported around the house. Sir pretty much leaves everything up to me as far as taking care of the household and our lives. And I can accept that as part of my responsibilities, but pretty soon, I won't have the free time I do now to handle it. I'm trying to get a job where the hours and workload are going to be crazy (for increased pay so we can live, we're just not making it on my crappy salary right now), and there will be no way I can possibly do it all and fulfill my work duties unless Sir picks up the slack. Which.... he really doesn't. He'll help me if I ask him, or if he sees that I'm 3 seconds from a breakdown, but other than that, it doesn't occur to him.

So, I'm in the kitchen, trying to get the things that I absolutely have to do complete before bed, and this huge fucking collar is just digging into me, and squeezing and I felt like if I didn't do something about it, it was going to lose it. Initially, I wasn't even going to remove it, I was just going to loosen it one notch, so I didn't feel so claustrophobic. But the silly thing just wouldn't come off, and I was getting more and more frustrated and hyperventilating. When I finally got it off, I flung it across the room. I remember looking angrily at it. Sir came in to see the commotion. I picked it up, immediately regretting flinging it and he helped me adjust it to a looser state.

We didn't say anything, but this is a BIG. DEAL. At least, I feel like it is. I mean, I took my collar, which I just "earned" back, removed it, and flung it across the kitchen, where it hit the floor. I threw my collar on the floor. Is that not a moment of rejecting everything it stands for? My submission to Sir, our relationship?

After I finished my tasks in the kitchen, I joined Sir in our bed. I was too worked up now to go right to sleep, so I sat there, stewing. I didn't know what to say. No matter what my feelings, throwing my collar is wrong. Letting it be on the floor, at all, is wrong. Even when I take a shower, I make sure it is on a shelf, or windowsill, just anywhere that is not the floor because I feel like letting it be on the floor removes it as a thing of value, and is disrespectful.

What was I thinking? We talked about it and Sir thinks that I am feeling the strain of the house. I suppose I am. I am doing all the Holiday stuff right now, Christmas cards, and gifts, and holiday plans. I'm also interviewing for jobs in between taking day-to-day jobs. I'm still doing all the chores and bills and day to day things.  I guess that I feel like... it is absolutely okay if Sir decides that all this is part of my submission. I just wish that it was purposeful. This all being part of my domestic service seems like an afterthought. Sir doesn't think about it, but someone has to and it has to get done, so it falls on me. I suppose that sometimes, I wish he felt like he wanted to help out here. And I don't think he does until he can see the stress breaking me now and again. He told me that he was going to take the dishes as his responsibility. I appreciated the offer. But I also felt awful. I feel like I am failing him in a way. This is what I'm supposed to do to help him, not the other way around. But another side of me wanted to see how that would work out. So for 2 entire days, dishes accumulated in the sink until Sir realized I couldn't cook because there were no dishes. He said I wouldn't get in trouble for doing them, that he'd never punish me for doing chores. But I wasn't sure because he told me I was not to do them. Sir did them yesterday, and I took over finishing. It makes me feel bad to see him doing "my" dishes. So, I'm not sure where we stand right now on that. I also feel like if I leave this up to Sir, I might as well do them anyway.

When Sir and I talked, in the most tactful way possible, he asked if it was nearing my time of the month. And, actually, he's right, it is. We have found that I do have hormonal changes. My body responds differently to pain, and I get crabbier for no apparent reason. Usually, if I'm crabby it's because I haven't eaten.

So maybe its just a ball of stress and hormones that exploded all over the place and after the holidays it will all be fine.

In the meantime, Sir emailed me 4 collars and asked me to choose one and why. He said that he doesn't think I'm ready to wear this collar 24/7 yet. I think he might be right, but I wish he wasn't.  He wanted to pick something for everyday wear that might help me progress to wearing this collar everyday. I feel like I am going backwards in progress, but that being said, sometimes, I do hate this collar. I don't really hate what it means, but it is just... annoying. I hate sleeping in it. Sir woke me up last night because I was snoring (this collar makes me snore at night). It sticks to my neck, digs into my flesh and is a pain to sleep comfortably in. During the day there are times where I feel like all I can feel is the collar. I wish I didn't feel like that, and the resistance wasn't there. But it is. I don't know how to combat it and be at peace with this huge collar. I suppose working up to it everyday - training is a start. But I know that I am going to feel like I've failed Sir for awhile.

I suppose we'll see how we are in January after all this madness subsides.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

New Goals and Tasks

In part of that long conversation we had the other night, Sir and I talked about how we've not been using any sort of official rules. There are expectations that are assumed by both of us, even things that I have been punished for, but nothing was ever established as a rule.

So, one of my new tasks is to make a list of what I perceive are my current rules and expectations. Then Sir can see if they mesh with his, and we'll make something official. I'd already done a list of all the household things I take care of around here. He said the list was a lot longer than he thought it would be. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not.

A few things that Sir mentioned for the future:

He wants to work on getting me into a thicker, more restrictive collar. This is why comfy collar is now gone; no use going backwards away from a goal. He measured the "big monster collar" and.... it's only two inches high. That doesn't seem like much, but I asked Sir to consider the size of the neck it's on. Two inches might not be much for some necks, but if you've got a short neck to begin with, two inches can feel cumbersome.

He also mentioned an interest in corsets. He would like to eventually get me into a place where I am wearing a corset every day, at least in the home. He doesn't want to do extreme waist training, just comfortable corset wear and a little cinching I suppose.

Which also means that I now have to work harder on my posture and back issues, more than ever. I've been slacking on my physical therapy exercises. Sir says that perhaps a half hour before bed every night, that will be time for exercises, winding down, etc. Which also means he might re-institute an official bedtime, but since we've been living together, I've not had one. We pretty much go to bed around the same time between 10 - 11 o'clock.

I'm looking forward to the next few weeks as we mesh all this out and really make it official - what the rules/expectations are and are not, and future goals for me as a sub. I want to please Sir, and it will very much help me to know what he really wants from me, long term.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Wearing his Collar Again

The other night, Sir and I ended up having an unplanned in-depth conversation about our relationship.

He'd said that because of how I'd been thinking about my submission, he'd been thinking of returning me to a collar. The big collar. And only the big collar. That I haven't earned the comfy collar yet.

He said that he was waiting for me to "earn" it, but that he believes that my mind doesn't work like that, working to earn something.That I haven't been doing anything "new". I beg to differ and I think it depends on the situation. In this case, no. my mind wasn't working to earn it, per se. As in, if I do X, Y, and Z, I will prove that I am ready to have my collar back.

Because there were no parameters given. Usually when you are trying to earn something and work for it, you know what you have to do in order to earn it. If you're earning grades, a promotion, etc. You know what it is you have to do to achieve what your goal is. But here, I really don't know. There weren't parameters given for the task. And through talking about that, we started talking about how we don't really have a long term goal in mind for me. Where is this heading? What does Sir want from me as a submissive? What are the skills and behaviors that I'm to work towards in the lofty notion of "the ideal"? That slate is blank, and has been for a long time. Without really an inkling of where to go, I'm not sure how to go about earning things given free reign.

So I chose a different path. I took what I had been given, and tried to go deeper into it. Not specifically just to earn my collar, but to truly make progress. I used the parameters of the chain, household chores, and not being allowed furniture to try and really deepen my submission through those things. And I honestly think that it is working. It will take time, of course. I get sulky and not resisting is a difficult thing to do. So I've kissed the corner 3 times this week.

But I still think I'm making progress in how I serve; my mindset, if not behaviors and tasks.

The conversation was good, and some goals came of it, as well as a turning point where I didn't let resisting overcome me.

So, I am re-collared by Sir. The big collar. And as part of the new goals, I am not getting the comfy collar back. Not even to sleep. I need to learn to sleep and be comfortable in this collar, as it is his will.

Now I have some things to work towards.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Purposeful Thinking and Headspace

Today I arrived home much earlier than usual; it was a half day for work. There was a lot to do, and I thought I would spend my time wisely, getting some household chores done. But today, I wanted to change my thinking about how I approach my household duties.

Today, I kept my mind on Sir as I completed the task of cleaning the kitchen. 

When I cleaned the stove, I thought to myself: I am scrubbing this stove so Sir will have a clean apartment to come home to. I am cleaning this stove of stray bits of food so as not to attract insects. Sir will like living in a clean home free of pests. 

When I washed the dishes, I though:t Sir will appreciate seeing a clean sink. If I spend my time wisely, I free myself up more to spend time with him when get gets home. 

When I adjusted the thermostat, I thought: Sir will want to arrive to a warm home. He shouldn't have to wait for the house to heat up.

I am finding that this thinking is definitely helping me keep myself in the right frame of mind. Keeping these thoughts in mind gives me purpose. I am happy to complete these tasks instead of just going through the motions. I feel in my mind that I am not scrubbing the stove in my dirty boots and work shirt, but in my mind, I am a sexy maid completing these tasks for Sir. I am going to try to remember and apply this thinking when I do household tasks.

Completing the stray thought of feeling like a sexy maid in my mind when thinking of Sir as I do household tasks, perhaps wearing some kind of maid uniform when doing these tasks would help both my headspace, and spark my libido more. Especially if Sir controlled and picked such a uniform. That aspect of control over me, what I do and wear is always appealing to me.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Things Discovered While Wearing the Chain

Noticed while wearing the chain...

If I leave the chain on the heating vent in the bathroom while I take a shower, when I go to put it back on ... it is NOT cold. In fact, it is VERY hot.

Same goes for bending over the oven to put meals in/out - the few moments over the stove makes that metal HOT!

I think I MIGHT prefer the cold shock.

In other news, there are too many corners in this house. I am becoming acquainted with them.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

The Chain

I've been thinking more and more about this chain that I have been wearing around my neck instead of my usual collars. The chain has its advantages even if I don't necessarily like it.

Sir instructed me to wear it for a reason, so I need to see those reasons and embrace what wearing the chain means.

The chain becomes cold when it is sitting in the collar cabinet drawer and I am not wearing it . Putting it on each day is a mini-shock to my system. Initially, I was dreading this shock, and I would avoid putting it on if I could. After my bath, I'd go right into bed so I didn't have to have the shock of it. But that cold shock is a good thing. It is the jarring moment that can change my headspace. When I wear this chain, I free myself from the outside world where Sir and I live our vanilla lives. I am free to be his submissive in a safe space our home.

The chain does warm up as it absorbs my body heat. It becomes comfortable. My submission is like that. At first things are uncomfortable and I seem resistant, but over time I gain confidence and become comfortable in my submission and I'm becoming comfortable wearing the chain. The chain reminds me that I am Sir's and I need to work for his collar. I cannot stay too comfortable in my submission, or I will not grow in my service to Sir.

There is also a big difference in wearing the chain locked around my neck compared to wearing either the comfortable or bulky leather collars. One is that Sir doesn't let me sleep with the chain on, whereas I am permitted to sleep in the other collars (usually the comfortable collars). I find that when I remove my chain for the evening, I feel less submissive somehow. As if I am removing part of my submission when I am removing the chain. It affects my brain, and my headspace. With the other collars, except for going outside of our home (or bathing), my collar is on continuously. It is reassuring, and helps keep me in my place. So I miss that - having it on nearly always, instead of the chain where I am actually unchained more during the day than otherwise.

Wearing the chain in one was is more "real" in one aspect. When I am chained and locked in, it is much more difficult to remove. Yes, my collars are lockable. But if I really had to get out of them, even if they were locked, I could. I could grab a scissor or a knife and start cutting the fabric. It might take some time, but I could do it. I could free myself. With the chain, this is not so. Were that key to be lost, I'd be pretty stuck in these chains. We'd need to get some boltcutters to free me, and I probably wouldn't be able to do it myself. I'd be uncomfortable putting something like that close to my neck at an awkward angle to self-apply. So once it's on my neck, it's really on.

I think that is part of the point, though.

Friday, December 12, 2014


We had a pretty intense session for the both of us two nights ago.

I am still sore.

Every time I sit or attend myself in the bathroom, it is a pleasant reminder of what he can do.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Floor

I am doing my level best to appreciate my place... below Sir. At the floor. Every night, our evening routine is something like this:

I make dinner, serving Sir and myself. Sir takes his meal at the couch. I take my meal on the floor just below him. We watch Once Upon A Time on Netflix while eating. I use the coffee table for eating, and when I'm done, wrap myself in blankets as we finish the show, sometimes pausing to get an after-dinner snack for Sir or myself.

I am starting to like these moments. I feel like I have a little spot in the one area of the floor. A couple of mornings ago I had time to eat a bowl of oatmeal before work (usually I grab something that I can eat in the car on my commute). I remembered that I was restricted from eating at the dining room table. I took my breakfast to my little floor spot and breakfasted there. And it was nice! There were no distractions. I quietly ate my breakfast, alone with my thoughts. It was almost meditative.

I am thankful that Sir lets me sleep in the bed. I really need the support for my back, and I like sleeping next to him. I think I need to up my game on my furniture restriction rule, though. I am appreciating my time spent on the floor, but there is one area that I'm pretty consistently using furniture for: my computer. I have a foldable chair next to my computer desk that I sit on, even as I type this. I think it is high time that I folded it and put it away to remove the temptation or absentmindedness of sitting here. I can put this computer right on the floor just as easily as I eat on the floor (it is a laptop, after all). I am also going to move my dining room chair to help with that temptation also. The last thing that I am going to work on is eating from my lap when I am on the floor in the living room. Yes, the coffee table is there but that is technically furniture also, so perhaps I shouldn't be utilizing it. I can eat with my plate in my lap. Maybe I'll move the coffee table a little bit too.

I want to show Sir that I am taking his intentions to heart. Sure, he has not said anything about my sitting here at the computer, but just because he hasn't said anything yet doesn't mean that I should do it. Maybe this is how I take a more active role in my submission. Sir gave me a restriction; a task: Not to use the furniture. He didn't go around to each piece of furniture and specify its potential use. But that's where I should come in and apply myself to his wishes. This is a way that I can take my service and submission to a greater level.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Lost Libido

Lately, my libido has been nearly nonexistent. We're not sure if it is from the medicine, being tired from domestic things, or what but its definitely not there. It's not even that I'm disinterested, I'm actively NOT interested and trying to get out of sexual encounters. Sir would come by and try to initiate something, and my reaction is always to pull away, or huff in annoyance, or say something like, now?

Setting aside the issues of "is it my place to refuse?" or "In our dynamic, does Sir have that kind of access to me at all times?" (I guess we've not figured that out yet, though my response to Sir has always been: if it's what you want, continue on - Sir always gets me warmed up and it's those warm up advances I've been rebuffing that has shut everything down). Sir and I have to figure something out.

I mentioned to Sir that perhaps making sexuality more a part of our daily lives, service, and tasks could help. Our D/s seems very compartmentalized. I think Sir tends to think of big D/s acts in the realm of sex (whipping, spanking etc.); they go hand in hand. And all other tasks, like domestic service and anything he asks me to do, don't go in that realm. I think they can be combined. I think you can have a spanking or a whipping without sex. And I think introducing sexual things as part of my tasks or service will really help. Like giving me a sex related task to do, such as finding some type of video clip I find appealing and send it to him. Or masturbating at a certain time of the day, or with a certain implement, etc. That might bring my focus more to sex things.

As it is, I've taken Sir's disappointment with my libido to heart. I've hit the internet, looking at different video clips (I rarely ever look at porn). I've made myself ready and initiated activities.

My new favorite?

The Fruity Blow Job.

Take a fruit roll up. Wrap it around his cock, and start sucking! Sir liked it too, and he is usually pretty indifferent to these types of things.

He was watching the new Star Wars trailer when I crawled under his computer desk, and started undoing his pants. He got the idea and stripped himself quickly, robbing me of the task. I set myself to work with my mouth, making sure he was good and interested... it didn't take long. Then I took the fruit roll-up and wrapped it around him sealing it as best I could.[ Next time, I would wrap it closer to his head. Sir is a good size, and putting it lower on the shaft means I couldn't get it all and had to readjust, hahah].

The flavor was good, like a candy, and the sensations were nice for him too. It was better for him when there was a little bit of skin exposed, since the roll up is pretty thick at first. He also liked the feeling of a small bit of fruit roll being pulled slowly away from his skin into my mouth.

I have a new love for Fruit Roll-ups.It made me enjoy the act so much more, and by the end of it all, I was more than good to go!

I hope we can continue this trend.

Monday, December 08, 2014


Lately, Sir and I have both noticed that we're in a bit of a slump D/s wise. It's not that it isn't going on, because it is. I can definitely say that now that we're living together, there is much more going on. But I suppose after awhile, it all starts feeling...routine. I suppose I'm not appreciating it.

Sir has noticed it, too.

I think part of it is because I'm not feeling actively controlled or dominated. Things just are. I wear my collar, I do the shopping, the cooking the cleaning. I make dinner for Sir (and me) every night. I make his lunch every day before he leaves. Same old, same old. The domestic stuff makes me tired, too. I work as much as I can, and I am the only one bringing in an income right now. After work, I do 95% of the household chores. And I'm just...tired. I don't necessarily mind doing all these things, but I suppose I'd like Sir to appreciate that if I'm the one doing pretty much everything, I get more tired after work, and I don't have as much time for leisure and unwinding type activities. When he's relaxing playing Minecraft or something, I'm preparing dinner, making lunches, doing dishes, etc.

I think that I need to change my mindset though. I am still at war with vanilla brain vs. submissive brain. Vanilla girlfriend thinks that Sir should do more, since I do everything. (*And just to make things fair, it's not like Sir is home all day doing nothing; he gets up at 5:30 every morning to attend a prestigious two year scholarship program to advance his career, and it is very taxing. And I am PROUD of him; getting into the school and taking this step was a HUGE deal for him, us, and our future). Subgirl thinks that since it is in my ability and power to do all of these things right now, I should be grateful for the opportunity to make Sir's life better, and revel in that. I am having a hard time with being in the correct mindset though. It is easier to change one's actions than to change one's thoughts, and I would like to retrain my brain, somehow.

I worry though, because Sir and I have talked about me trying to get a job in my old field that would require crazy hours like before, but an increased salary, which we really need. We're not even scraping by right now; I've got applications in to the county assistance office, and we're just relying on his savings until we figure things out. And that is not going to last much longer. So, if I find a position that will help us financially, how will the household be run then? But I digress from the main issue.

Sir and I also think that my new medication may be affecting me (fatigue is listed as a side effect). We also think it may be affecting my libido. I've been really disinterested as of late. It may not be the medicine, but it could be. It's the only thing that has changed in the past couple of weeks.

To combat all this, Sir has placed some new restrictions on me. I am no longer allowed furniture (except the bed when sleeping)... and he has allowed me the computer chair, I suppose. But I cannot sit on the couch, or eat at the dining room table. I put my food on the coffee table and sit there. I should be happy that I am allowed that; I could be eating on the floor. In fact, just writing this makes me feel like in this, I have received too much. Today, I cooked breakfast for us and forgot completely not to sit at the dining room table. After the meal, Sir gave me cornertime. And at first, I was not contrite. At all. I felt annoyed that I had to sit here in the corner for something to silly. But it's not silly, and I shouldn't feel that way. I should have remembered. Sir then put the ball gag in. I was a little bit more contrite then, but definitely not for the right reasons. Was the punishment a deterrent? Absolutely. I defintiely do not want to be standing there for however many minutes wasting time, being uncomfortable and ignored. But I should have been mortified that I forgot, and I wasn't. I suppose I don't see the furniture thing as a big deal yet, and I should.

The second new restriction is this:

I am no longer allowed a collar. I must wear this chain around my neck instead. I must chain myself so that if Sir tugs on the chain, it can not slip up past my chin.

I do not like the chain. I don't mind its appearance, and it isn't terribly constricting, but it is COLD. And for some reason, I've been forgetting to wear it more often. Sir says I am not to wear it to bed (he fears me choking somehow). So at night after my bath, I generally go to sleep. So I don't put it back on. But invariably, I do something else before bed, and there I am, chainless for awhile. With the other collar, I would wear it all the time, no real reason to forget (not that it didn't stop me on a few occasions)

So, I hope these things help me get myself back on track. Though I'm not sure what to do about changing my thought patterns exactly. Maybe a new mantra to do before bed?

Saturday, December 06, 2014

Serving Sick Sir

Today, Sir is sick in bed. He finally has a chance to do a proper rest so he can hopefully get his immune system in gear. I am happy for him. He went to bed early last night, and after getting up briefly this morning, is back in bed knocked out. I am checking in on him happily, in that sweet state of being joyous to look upon his sleeping face.

I press a kiss to his cheek and am rewarded with his sleepy incoherent mumblings that make my heart swell with love and adoration for him. I just want to crawl in there and squeeze my Sir, but I don't want to disturb his needed rest.

Sir has really only asked me for one thing this entire time he was sick: Chicken Noodle Soup.

Not the canned kind; made fresh. So, today I put my collar on and my service will consist of making him the best chicken soup from scratch! Lucky for us, I roasted a chicken two days ago, so all those bits will go into making a great soup.... hopefully!

Friday, December 05, 2014

Thanksgiving Bed

I've been away for a bit. I went back to NJ  last week to visit my family for Thanksgiving. I left on Sunday and stayed for 7 entire days. When Sir and I came back, we brought colds with us. He has it pretty bad. I'm just sneezing with general feelings of lethargy, fatigue, etc.

The week was good. I hung out with family the entire time. On Thanksgiving, we went to Sir's family to visit and eat. His sister made a delicious meal. My family didn't celebrate until Saturday. I cooked for 20 people; it was a bit crazy. My dad knows that Sir and I are in financial straits right now, so he purchased most of the food. I brought some with me though. And we took a lot of it back to PA as leftovers, so we've been eating that all week.

It made me feel great in a domestic way to do this for my family, and to have Sir there. They like him, and some of them haven't met him even though we'll be celebrating 4 years together next month! I am getting more and more proud of my domestic skills. The better I get, the better I feel I am able to serve Sir.

We also received an unexpected boon for Thanksgiving! Sir and I have been sleeping on a Full size bed for the past couple of months. It is too small for us. I have back issues and need to stretch out, and Sir is a big guy in general. We've elbowed each other in the face, kicked, smacked, and scratched each other, stolen blankets (he's the blanket hog, I'm the one waking up cold ;P) nearly rolled off the bed due to lack of space, and are constantly shifting around. Its been a rough night's sleep for awhile.

Sir's mother has known that we wanted to save up to get a Queen size bed. A friend of hers was getting rid of an extra hardly used Queen size, and she hooked us up! So, for the price of figuring out how to hitch it to the roof of my car, we are now the proud owners of a luxury bed! Sleeping on this thing is like sleeping on a cloud. The extra six inches definitely makes a difference.

Sir and I hitched it to the roof of my car on Thanksgiving day at the tail end of the snowstorm. Being that we were driving it back about 200 miles, we wanted to be really certain that it was good and attached. We had LOTS of rope, and Sir sure made certain that it wasn't going anywhere! In fact, he attached the front so tight, he actually cracked the box spring by accident (but it's still fully functional).

I really couldn't expect less from a man who loves his rope, could I?

This photo really doesn't do justice to the amount of rope we used.

As a final thought, we picked up some extra rope when getting the mattress covers (you know, just in case we didn't have enough though we ended up not using it) and this is what we got:

Isn't "Tie-Down" Rope a little bit redundant? If you're getting rope, aren't you probably going to be tying down or securing... something? Whether its a human or a load to your car? What else do people use rope for if not to tie something? I've seen decorative uses, but most of them also involved tying things.

Rope, the most basic pervertable. 

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving! I've got loads to be thankful for, and I really need to remember that sometimes when things are hard and bills aren't paid... because that's not the whole bigger picture.

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