Wednesday, December 31, 2014

A New 2015

We're back from the Holiday Family Visit craziness (seriously, 8 Christmas visits in 4 days, 3 states, and a good 600 miles on my car). We have a New Year's Party tonight, and then we can finally relax from the Holiday insanity. Sir and I are doing better. After the day I lost my cool and flung my collar, we had a series of conversations that restructured things a bit. Fixing how our relationship works wasn't something that could be talked about quickly. We had a lot of talk before we left for Christmas, and a lot of time to talk in the 3 hour (each way) trip to see our families, plus traveling between homes.

Sir has decided to take on more responsibility in the home. He had  me make a list of all the things that I do around the house (and he was surprised by the length of the list). He took a bunch of items and made them his responsibility. I am struggling with letting him do them (it's hard not to, when you're used to handling everything). I am also trying to remind him gently, and give him quick tasks to help me faster when I'm doing the house.

I'm also to make a basic schedule for myself in hour-long increments and schedule in cooking, cleaning, relaxing, bath time, etc. Sir will change what he sees fit. I think this will help me because I am often in the house thinking: I don't know what to do. Even if there is nothing TO do. It is hard for me to accept that and just read or play a video game. I guess I feel like I always have to be productive or doing something. Hopefully that will change. Recharging my batteries is productive.

He's started revamping my rules. which lead to more conversation. They'll go officially into effect in 2015, though I'm starting to follow them now. He's included mandatory time for me to decompress and relax, a bedtime, a relaxation/back exercise time before bed. He's also reinstated my dress code, which is proving challenging. He's also for the first time ever, included an orgasm rule, in that I must climax at least 3 times per week (not including any orgasms given by Sir). Perhaps this will help me feel more sexy and help with my libido issues. He's still editing the rules with all our conversations about our relationship, my needs/wants, his needs/wants, and my abilities/limits.

It is hard for me to accept that I cannot do everything. It is hard for me to ask for help. But I am one person and I cannot do everything. I was letting it make me feel like a failure, or as not being a good submissive, but I need to recognize that I have limitations. I need to have time for me, in order to be a good submissive. If I don't have downtime, I will burn out, and not be able to serve Sir anyway. This was something that Tamar helped me realize. Sir is not a jerk who demands me do everything and him nothing, but he doesn't always think about everything to the fullest extent. It is something of a pet peeve of mine (being that my brain almost never turns off), but I recognize he's not actively trying to be a jerk or work me into the ground. As soon as we realized what was happening, he took immediate measures to make things better, and for that (and much more) I love him.

I can't wait to see what this New Year brings!


  1. Aww, thanks for the shoutout! Made my night, and so glad anything I wrote helped! I love the changes you guys are making, they sound very positive and you sound so much happier, love to hear it! Best wishes to both of you.

    1. It really did help. I sometimes need that outside reminder that I can't do everything or be everything. Sir has been trying really hard and has been really mindful.


I ❤ comments!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...