Friday, April 06, 2018

What Are You Willing to Lose Sleep For?

We all lose sleep over things sometimes.

Sometimes it is because we are anxious or worried. Sometimes it is because we are helping others. Sometimes it is because we want to have a little more fun! Stay out at that concert, dance late at that party, have a few more glasses of wine, etc.

But the next morning, sometimes we have regrets.

"Ohhh.... I shouldn't have done that!"

What are the things that you don't have those feelings about? That you may wake up tired, and drag a little through the day... but you have no regrets? Thinking of the previous night brings you happiness, or peace.

One of the things for me, I realized, is intimacy with Sir.

Lately, things have just been hard. Sir is stressed, and very anxious. My job gives me a full plate, and then we both add our extracurricular activities, as it were to them. Though we love each other and cuddle and kiss and hang out, sex things just haven't been happening. Long make-out sessions. Lazy weekend cuddles where we don't have to be anywhere. Exploring the body with fingers. Actual sex. Any real kink whatsoever. Just hasn't been happening so much. We'd even spoke about literally penciling it in. I actually keep a private calendar on my phone to document when it does go down, just so I'm more aware. When we spoke, I think we both came to the conclusion that Tuesday night, that was when it was gonna "go down".

Last  Sunday, Sir and I got in late. We were away in New Jersey. We put our things away. We had some food. We exchanged Easter baskets. We took showers and made the bed. I thought it was just time for bedtime.

But Sir made the time and had the patience to take his time. We made out. He ran his hands all over my body. And we engaged in a little dominance and humiliation, which I get embarrassed over, but definitely find hot.

I have a problem with being fingered or receiving oral. It's not that I won't do it, or "allow" it to happen. It just makes me extremely uncomfortable for some reason. Like I'm on display, and that the attention is on me way too much somehow.

Sir decided that he was going to have his fun with me, with his fingers. I was not to move away, or clamp down on his hands to make it stop. I did feel embarrassed and exposed. I sat on my own hands to help me comply. And Sir enjoyed it; this simple act of dominance that required no rope, no props, just him and me submitting to his will.

And with his patience, I eventually got into it, and we had some really fantastic sex afterwards. More showering and cuddling and loveliness.

And it was way past my bedtime when we were done and ready to sleep.

In the morning though... I felt peace. I was tired, sure. But as I sipped my tea driving to work, I could feel myself smiling, replaying the night in my head. I'm glad we didn't have to "pencil it in". I'm glad. I have no regrets. It was worth the lack of sleep.


  1. Hi Lea, life does get overwhelming at times and we have to make time for each other, even if means having to coordinate diaries. So glad you had this time to connect and just focus on each other. Definitely worth the lack of sleep :)


    1. Thank you, Roz. It can be hard and it is sometimes hard for me to get into it if we had to schedule it!

  2. Sex is at the top of my list...and why is it we sometimes hesitate to 'pencil it in'...hugs abby

    1. I think when penciling it in... it feels forced. I have a harder time getting into it!

  3. Love this! Sometimes the Duke and I get no time together, and I wake up at 3am, wanting him. I now have a rule that if this happens, no matter when in the day, I have to at least go tell him if he's home, and admit it on the phone if he calls. He says I get too worked up if it happens for days and I get no release. So now, we often miss half an hour of sleep on those nights because it's the only real time we can be sure everyone is asleep. :) It's my favourite way to wake up tired, feeling loved and cared for. :)

    1. I'm so glad you have this rule. It can be hard for me to admit, especially on the phone though!

      But a little missed sleep for that kind of intimacy has all other kinds of benefits, too!

  4. Replies
    1. Isn't it tho! Though I wish it were less real and we were getting it on more, haha.


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