2.5

So, it's been two and a half months since I engaged with my blog, or really, with other people's blogs.

Things just got... stressful. In so many ways. And I really just couldn't deal. I still feel that I'm barely dealing sometimes. So I pulled away and favored escapism and needing a lot more downtime to recharge and feel human than I have before.

Up until two days ago, there wasn't really much going on between me and Sir in the D/s department, either. No collar, no protocols. Barely any kink. He called me "bitch" the other day, his pet name for me... and I asked him if he felt that he had "the right" to call me that anymore. We could debate his rights but he understood what I was saying. A couple of days later, he came home from work, threw me down on the bed and gave me a good spanking. Then collared me. I haven't been collared since before we moved.

I asked him what prompted this, and he just said "It was time."

He's not wrong. But I guess I don't fully trust it. It's been too many times, too many times being derailed. And I'll take it while it lasts, but... honestly I'm not in a place to be self-motivated right now. I'm just not. So I hope if this is what he wants he is ready to work. I don't really feel he ever really has. And that may hurt for him to hear it, but it is truly how I feel.

Sir was doing really poorly. Extremely depressed. He chose to make some poor life decisions and it took him a bit, but he is now making some better ones. And he is better for it. It was really hard for me to watch him go through it, since there really wasn't anything I could do. And a lot of it affects me too; we're in this life together. And part of me was getting frustrated with him - it is hard to watch someone make a mistake, and another, and another even after you were asked for your thoughts... but he learned, and perhaps he just had to have those experiences to realize how things could be, and what prices he was willing to pay for things to be better. I think a large part of what happened this fall  between us was due to that; just everything going on. Both our depressions, the stresses of moving; of not having enough to get by, of families being jerks, of being lonely. Of not getting enough sleep....

 And that's okay. I feel like I can deal with our vanilla times, our times where things get stressful as long as I know we will come back to each other, come back to D/s, come back to where things are right between us. Not that they were "wrong"... they were just off. I hope they can become right again.

My job hasn't hired a supervisor all year after my boss abruptly quit. I've been doing most of the work on top of my current job all year and I'm just...exhausted. They are finally in the process of looking to hire someone. I hope that someone will be me; I'm doing my best to go for it. We will see what happens.

Sir and I had our housewarming party in September.... and pretty much no one showed up (from my side). It hurt. It still hurts. I feel this rejection so deeply, and it is honestly one of the things affecting me on a daily basis. I know they do care about me... but it is only when I make it convenient for them. And that's really unfair to me. For pretty much my entire family to not come, despite the two months notice.... it really hurts and puts things into perspective for me. It's been two months, and I feel like I should have been able to move forward by now... but I'm not. It just put the nail into a lot of issues I have been feeling for years. I have such guilt over not doing more for my family, though they all know I do A LOT. I feel guilt over wanting to pull away, and take care of myself, because it doesn't go both ways. And when I do pull back, I also feel lonely. I miss them. So it is a lose-lose either way. Either I take more time for me and don't go do things for them/see them (and then feel guilt and loneliness), or I do it and still end up mad that the effort is all on me.

My mom has been extremely difficult to deal with and I'm getting to the point where I don't know what to do. She needs and asks for a lot from me, and whatever I do she complains about. I am also four hours away from her, so any help I give is not convenient for me. I guess I wish she would just get her shit together finally and be a fully functioning adult... but she's been declining more and more and it is unreasonable to expect that. I had a conversation with my brother about that yesterday - that she is not going to "snap out of it" and be "the way she used to be". This is it. Accept it the way it is and move on. Even saying it to him, knowing it to be true, it is still hard for me to do, too.

Sometimes I just want to stick my head in the sand. I need a break. Like a long one. One I may get in December. November is half over and I've got a full schedule till then.

But... at least I'm collared. At least Sir looks like his mental state is improving. And that he is ready to try and steer this ship again. Because sometimes I am alone at the helm and I just want to take my hands off the wheel and say "fuck it". You get sick of always being the strong one, sometimes, you know?

Wrap It Up

We're having a housewarming shindig in a couple of weeks and we've been working on getting the house minimally prepared for such an event. As of right now... it's not. This is where a lot of our time has been going.

Sir also has been interviewing like crazy and he finally got a new job! He hasn't started yet, but he's looking forward to sleeping in longer and a much shorter commute.

Sir saw these at Walmart and they came home with us. I don't know if we'll ever use them for their originally designed purpose.

Outside Security

On the sidewalk of a house down our street, this fixture is secured into the cement:

It is neat to live in an area with so much history! We live in an historic district, and it's really cool to think about the fact that these horse rings were used to tie your main mode of transportation. And they're still there!

I better be good, or perhaps Sir might find another use for them!

Catching up on Blogs, Catching up on Rules

I'm slowly catching up here in blogland. Slowly, haha. It's a lot to catch up on!

Sir and I are working on the house and working on us. D/s has gone just a little to the wayside. My collars are still packed in a box somewhere, with most of our toys. We're still having spankings and sexy fun times, but it's... different. It feels a little more vanilla to me (well, not the spankings).

So I have been trying to work on being more diligent about my old rules, working a little on that headspace. One of them was to make Sir lunch everyday. I have been working on that. I didn't make it on Wednesday night for him because I got into the house at 11:30 PM and pretty much passed out. But I've been better than I was, which was not making it at all.

I keep forgetting that Sir doesn't have access to cutlery at his job. If I do not pack forks/spoons/knives for him, he cannot eat the things I pack. I packed him a sandwich, fruit, and a salad. He couldn't eat the salad because I didn't pack him a fork.

I used to get punished for that. It's hard for me to remember, I guess, because I make my lunch at the same time, usually. And I don't have to pack cutlery, so I don't think about it.

Sir didn't punish me for that this time. He just let me know about it in that kind, but disapproving way that Doms have. The kind of way that makes you feel terrible inside, even though they're being "nice" and soft spoken.

Hopefully I will remember all this week!

For the Dogs

We're continuing to slowly work on the house. Since everything is not set up, there's an awful lot of echo in our place.

Last week, Sir was giving me a spanking. You could absolutely hear the sound of it reverberating off the walls.

And I suppose a neighbor's dog could hear it as well. Every time Sir struck me, this dog would howl or bark.

It was kind of funny, but I also felt bad for the dog. And I was also wondering, is it just the dog who can hear it, with its keen senses, or can the whole neighborhood?

Oh, well!

We're Home, Finally!

This long post is long.

We're finally here in our new apartment, moving in July 1st! We have the first floor and basement of a cute rowhome. We didn't have internet for the past two weeks, though, because the genius who lived here before us cut the wire for some reason. We had to get a technician out here to rewire the house, at our cost. But they only work Monday - Friday, and we work too. We had to wait until I had a random weekday off so I could be here for the technician. Who would arrive anywhere from 8 am to 5 pm. I got lucky yesterday and they got here just after noon, so I was able to get stuff done on my day off. And now we're connected!

The place is cute, or it will be once we can unbury it from the boxes. We have been unpacking a little every night after work, and we do what we can on our days off, but it will take time. This place is bigger than our last one, so we will need to buy some more furniture too. All in good time.

I'm glad for this new chapter of our lives. My commute went from 1.5 - 2 hours each way, to about 20-25 minutes. I am actually getting proper sleep every night! We get so much done, that when I ask Sir what time it is, it's always early, like 7 pm. I'm not used to that! I'm also not used to having central air. We've been using it during the heat wave, but I also fear the cost; I'm sure our electric bill is going to make me hyperventilate. We have a dishwasher too! I've never had one before. It's a little one, but it's still a dishwasher. I'm not sure if I'm loading it "correctly" but it is neat to have. We'll figure all these new luxuries out with time.

The past few weeks have been really hard, but things are getting better. I definitely feel like June was the month of "if it can go wrong it will". Nothing was easy. A few updates:

My knee is still healing. It is making progress, but at what feels like a glacial pace right now. I just started physical therapy, and I have a real fear that it is not going to heal sufficiently for me to be fully functional at work, or to go back to my sport!

I was able to get a new (to me) car! It was a bit of an ordeal, since my loan company never sent me my title when I paid my previous car off. And because I needed the title NOW, and not 30 days later (since we were moving and I couldn't leave my defunct car there), I had to pay to get my title, driving two two DMV locations (one 45 minutes away!), even though it wasn't my fault. 

My mom did help me out with the down payment for it though, bless her, since our savings were/are locked into moving. Once I got it, I had a hangup with one of the tires. It had a slow leak. I brought it back to the dealer who "fixed it" for free, but it still had a problem. So I ended up having to buy a brand new freaking tire 11 days after getting this car. Ugh. I don't think it was the dealers fault, I don't think they did anything to it. It was just my crappy luck.

I was able to see my grandmother before she passed away. I had a Thursday off, so I got up really early, and walked about 2 miles to a car rental place. My knee took it pretty well. A bit twingey, but it was mostly flat, so that was good. Then I drove about 3 hours to my Aunt's house. My grandmother was basically comatose by then. But she knew I was there. At one point she did open her eyes, looked at me, and said my name. She passed away two days later. Saying goodbye to her before leaving my Aunt's was extremely hard; knowing that it was likely for the last time. I am so glad I was able to see her one last time; it was the right decision.

The funeral was nice; as far as those sorts of occasions go. My family was being pretty difficult about it though. My mom refused to talk to my aunt (who was making the arrangements) because she didn't want to "stress her out", but she was going around trying to make her own arrangements and since she is computer illiterate, I was making them for her. A bunch of my family does not drive, my mom and brother included, and she wasn't sure how they were going to get to the cemetery from the funeral home. I'd drive them, but I couldn't fit them all. I spent a lot of time looking things up for her. My mom wanted to rent a limo. I let her know that would be very expensive, and suggested we rent a minivan instead. When I gave her the cost of the minivan, she freaked out, saying it was way too pricey... um, the limo would be much more than that - what are you thinking? After all that, my aunt who was making the arrangements figured it out, and it was all unnecessary. My mom also fought me over getting flowers for the service. I told her that her mom didn't want flowers; she wanted donations to a special organization. I ended up getting the flowers to make my mom happy, and was berated about it at the funeral later. During the few days I was back in NY for the service, my brother was being a complete ass. He showed up to the first day late, and drunk. When we went back to my moms he stayed up literally all night drinking and snorting pills. I got 30 mins of sleep. I got up, got my mom ready, and tried to get him up too. But he was completely non-functional, puking and what not. I had to leave him there. I told him the day before that I was leaving when I was leaving and if he wasn't ready, he was going to get left behind. I wasn't going to let my mom be late for her own mother's funeral. He was surprised, asking me if I thought this would happen. Well, yes. This is what he does. So we left him. I get a bunch of crying voicemails from him. Messages from his wife, too. He feels terrible, etc. Like, what do you want me to do now? I told him that it was up to him, I just don't want him to have any regrets later. He shows up abruptly at the church 5 minutes before the service started. I had to do readings for the mass, and then there was communion. When I got back to my seat from communion, he was gone. Just up and left in the middle of service. I guess he couldn't handle it, but then everyone is going to my mom, like "where's your son?" We drove up to the cemetery without him. And since he didn't go, I had room for my mom, uncle, and aunt in the back of Sir's car, so we drove them home. I was asked if I was going to stay at my mom's an additional night (since I was taking off work the next day). No.... thank you. I want to go home and leave this craziness. I know we're all grieving but some people don't think about anyone but themselves, it seems like.

The day I was leaving for my grandmother's wake, one of my cousins tries to hit me up for money. I was thinking, I am moving in 2 weeks, I don't have a car, I can't even walk with my knee, and my grandmother just passed. I wasn't sure if she knew all of that, but she did, and she asked anyway, which was really ballsy of her. I initially thought, I am not going to help her. But then I thought to myself, "What would your dad do?"... and he would help. So I offered to give her $20. I asked her for her Paypal. Nope, she doesn't have one. Bank account? Nope, doesn't have that either. Western Union? Well... that's a really far walk, she said.

Like, bitch, do you need this money or not? Cause even if I had a car, I wouldn't drive 2 freaking hours each way to loan *you* money. How are you going to ask me for money with no plan on how you were going to receive it? I truly believe she expected me to drive the 2 hours... I told her I was leaving for the wake in 2 hours, and if she had a plan call me back. She didn't.

There's a bunch of other crazy shit going on with her addict sister that I'm not even going to get into.

All in all, I'm glad June is over, and I feel like I need a vacation. A few days of sun and sand, perhaps. Maybe Sir and I can take a weekend trip? I hope so.

Speaking of Sir, he's beckoning to me from the other end of the apartment. He wants to christen the house in the best way we know how!!

Moving Tape

There's been way too much going on lately. It just seems that everything bad is happening, and everything is a hassle.


I'll get into the events of the past few weeks in a few days. Tonight I bring you a silly thing. This:

Sir and I are moving. It's finally happening, this weekend. I guess I was being mouthy, because Sir used the tape dispenser on me

 (I called him a bitch, in jest).

Then he taped my arm, and gave me a "tattoo". Right before this, he pulled the tape off my mouth, making me shriek.

We're getting the moving truck tomorrow and are in full panic packing mode. But at least we can have a little fun. 

Life is Low

Sometimes it can be hard for me to appreciate the good. Right now I just feel like life is hard and we're constantly getting shit on. Just when things seem to be on the up, it's time for them to come back down.

In no particular order:

1. My knee still sucks. Hopefully it will be healed in 3 weeks.
2. Sports... is just not happening right now for me. And if I do heal it will be months to catch up.
3. Sir and I are moving. While this is good, its really stressful.
4. My freaking car straight up died on Wednesday. Abruptly and without warning. The engine is likely blown. I had it towed to Sir's mechanic on Thursday night. He still hasn't looked at it. I'm hoping he gets to it Monday.
5. I am now getting up even more ass-early than I do everyday so I can drop Sir off at work first, then go to work myself. I pick him up after my shift ends, and he has to wait a half hour everyday after his shift for me to do so. We are exhausted.
6. If my engine IS blown, we have no money prepared to get a new car right now, and our work schedules will not line up so we can handle life with one car forever.  We have some money saved, but it was supposed to go to the move.
7. My grandmother is dying and has days, maybe weeks to live. I was supposed to go see her today, probably for the last time. Nope, that's not happening.
8. I love my mother, but she is just... a lot to deal with. On a good day. On bad ones where she's crabby because of her back, she's still grieving my father, and now add her mother dying to the list... and she's started drinking everyday again... It's a lot for me to try and deal with her.

It's not ALL bad though, and I really need to remember that.

1. My knee IS making progress. I can now bend it a little. I couldn't do that before.
2. Sports... will still be there. Everyone is super awesome, it is just me and my own head that feels inadequate.
3. The move will make our commutes shorter and our lives easier!
4. The car.. well I don't really have an upside for that. At least I made it nearly all the way home before it died?
5. At least Sir has a job that is kind of on the way to my job. At least our work schedules are currently lining up so we CAN get by with one car, even if it is inconvenient. If Sir was still working at his old job, one car would not be feasible and I don't know what we would do. I guess I would be renting, with money we don't really have.
6. My mother offered to lend me money to put a down payment on a new car, if need be. She said that for once in her life, she is in a position where she can help, unlike any other time in her life before. So there's that.
7. Maybe I will still get to see my grandmother before she goes. If not, at least she won't be suffering anymore. She is terminally ill and in a lot of pain. She also doesn't really want anyone to see her like that, but its hard to know she is going to leave the earth and NOT want to see her.
8. At least I still have my mother, issues and all. Not many people have a parent left.

And I still have a roof over my head, food in the house, a job to support us that I generally like, and family and friends to love and be loved by. And Sir. Sir is my... everything.

So, shit is hard right now, but hopefully it will turn out okay. I need to not throw myself a pity party and just keep swimming. In the meantime, I am dealing by using my favorite coping mechanism: eating whatever the fuck I want lately.

Hopefully when this all settles I'll be back for Fit for Fridays, and blogland in general.

Injury Update

I've been a little MIA lately, and I expect that will be the norm for the next several weeks until we move and are settled into the new place. There's just... a lot.

I ended up really injuring my knee. My hamstring tendon is torn. I'm wearing a brace, and I'm on light duty at work. I can't walk for extended periods of time, and sports practice is definitely out. I'm still going, but I'm just observing now. Its the worst timing too; I have nearly met all my requirements to join the actual team, and this is going to set me back, by months probably. Sir and I are also trying to pack to get ready for the move, and my injury is definitely not helping.

I have a long commute to work and driving in my car hurts. Plus, it is causing strain at work as we try to figure out how to have other people balance the physical responsibilities I cannot do right now. Everyone has been very understanding about it; I just feel terrible.

I am picking up Sir from work in a little bit, and then he is going to drive us to NY (so I can rest my knee). It is my mom's 60th birthday tomorrow. My brother and I chipped in to get her a new computer. She has been without a real computer for a couple of years now. We got her a tablet, but she hasn't taken to it. She's just not used to it, I guess. So I hope she'll be more comfortable with the new technology. We tried to pick things that would be as familiar to her as possible. I don't consider my mom to be old, but she has always been what she calls an "electronic nightmare". She doesn't take to technology well. Conversely, my 81 year old grandmother is pretty tech savvy! I guess it skipped my mom.

Tomorrow we're going to surprise her with Red Lobster and a cake. My mom broke her back last month and while she isn't paralyzed, she isn't very mobile while she is healing. She had "a procedure" on her spine last Friday (she refuses to call it surgery), and hopefully she can start healing, but it is going to take time. So we are going to bring the party to her. Red Lobster has an online to-go ordering system. I'm going to tell her that I'm picking up my brother, and while I am going to do that, we'll swing by the restaurant to pick up her surprise food and get a little cake.

Tomorrow night, Sir and I are going to a fancy get-together for his family. His aunt and uncle are celebrating 50 years of marriage! I always enjoy getting all dolled up with Sir. It will be nice to schmooze with his extended family too; I definitely feel like we don't do that enough.

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

I Asked for a Spanking

Lately, I've been feeling like things are just too much. I have too much to do. I've been too much in charge. And the few things I *wish* I could be in charge of (like my body working) are out of my control.

I was feeling "off". Not submissive. Not quite me.

I fretted about it. About getting off track. About going back down that rabbit hole again. It took so very long for us to get back on track, so to speak. After reading some blogs, I decided to do what others have done, and go to Sir. Ask him for a spanking.

And once I thought about that, I fretted over that too. Sir wasn't going to be home from work for awhile. I don't recall ever asking him for a spanking. He's given them to me when he's said I'd needed it, but I don't recall actually asking. It's just not something we do; not part of our dynamic. At least, it wasn't.

When he got home, I didn't ask immediately. A couple hours went by. Eventually I brought it up when Sir was getting ready to take a shower. I talked about how we'd been letting things go, and that I've been stressed and that I just felt like I needed a spanking. That I felt like I would be better with one.

Well, no sooner did the words come out of my mouth, did he have his hands in my hair and was pulling me down to the bed. He gave me about ten good swats before letting me up.

"This is just a warm-up. I am going to take a shower and then there will be more."

He finished his shower, and said: "Bitch, get me a glass of water."

I think that he may have needed this, too. Just the mention of it had him in a more domly headspace.

I brought him some water. He instructed me to get face down on the bed. We were careful about my knee.

And then he started. Lightly at first. Over my pajamas and panties. It had been a long time. He lingered, drawing the process out, allowing me to get warmed up. Just his hand, swatting me, rubbing, stroking, pinching. He increased his intensity, delivering stronger and faster blows.

And then, he asked me if I knew why he wanted me to bring him some water.

"... Because you were thirsty, Sir?"

"Well, yes, but also so I could do this!"

He placed that cold cup right on my back, pressing it into my flesh. He gets a kick out of being "mean".

He continued striking me, every so often caressing his handiwork. I heard him leave briefly, then felt the sharp sting of his belt. I reveled in hearing it cut through the air, even as I braced myself for impact, clenching my muscles almost involuntarily. I felt joy in hearing the belt tap his back as he pulled his hand back for the next blow. A steady rhythm to lose yourself into.

In the past 7 years, Sir has gotten very good with his aim. Good enough to give me a little mindfuck, stroking me, then hitting with the belt in almost the same area. Raising his hand off me as though to spank, only to feel the blow of the belt. It was hard to tell what was going to come next. Eventually he pulled my pajamas down, gradually letting it get more and more intense, before pulling my panties down and really laying into me, reddening my ass.

Abruptly, he stopped.

"Bitch, refill my water."

"Yes, Sir."

He had me gingerly get off the bed, and walk awkwardly into the kitchen with my pajamas and panties pulled down around my knees to refill his cup. Something about that is humiliating. And hot.

He shared his water with me, then told me to get back down on the bed.

He wasn't pulling any punches this time. He switched from his short belt, to the thicker belt I am required to wear as part of my work uniform. It certainly packs a wallop, I came to find out. I was squirming and moaning by the end of it.

And I can just imagine what I'll be thinking about next time I have to wear it!

Once he was done, he had me sit up. I am pretty tender, even just sitting on the soft bed. But it was a nice little reminder that I will carry with me tomorrow.

I definitely feel better. More focused. More centered. And I think Sir does too.

Thank you, Sir.

Collar is Back After Over a Week!

Things have felt so crazy here lately. If it wasn't for Fit for Friday, I probably wouldn't have posted at all in the past three weeks.

I don't think it is going to slow down until mid-summer. We found a place! And now...we have to move. We have to pack. An entire two bedroom apartment, plus the basement, which is full of my dad's stuff. That is probably going to take up all of our free time.

I am currently sitting with my leg up. I strained my tendon (hopefully; it may be a tear), and was told to be off of it for four days. The first two days I had work at a big event we were putting on. There was a lot of moving, though I tried to be "off" of it as much as I could. Today and tomorrow, I am off. So I will rest it as much as possible. I feel guilt that some things aren't getting done right now though (cleaning, packing, yardwork, etc). But I'll see if I can do some of it without causing pain and stress to my knee.

In other news, I am happy to say I am back to wearing my collar. It was off for about a week and a half. I had some kind of irritation or rash or something on my neck and the collar was exacerbating it.  I also noticed I had a pimple and I think I'm getting more skin tags. I'm wondering if all that is due to the collar. I have been remiss in that I don't think we really ever clean this leather. It's not something I ever thought about. Though it is not jewelry, I think I treat it as such, and I hardly ever clean my jewelry either (unless it needs it). But my neck is finally better after giving it a break. It finally healed enough for the collar to come back. It actually felt weird! I thought I was so used to it, but after just over a week of it being off, it felt a little like a stranger again.

It's back, and thank goodness. I think it does wonders for my headspace. Without it, I can feel myself drifting from submission. I probably need to ask Sir for a spanking or something.

FFF 15 - On Time with Good News!

Fit for Friday!!! I'm liking FFF not only for the health challenge, but this has become where I've started doing my "regular life" updates each week as well.

Great news this week. Sir and I got the apartment we applied for!

We'll be moving in July, less than 2 months away! We're very excited. And now, we have a LOT of packing to do.

In other news I screwed my knee up on Saturday.  Finally got to the Doctor today, it's likely sprained. If it doesn't start to heal in the next 4 days, then it might be torn, and I'll need an MRI. I really hope it starts to heal. I have a very active job which isn't helping, and I can't play my sport like this.

I hope it starts healing so I can get back into the swing of things.

Workouts: 3/7 - Two sports practices. Lots of walking and physical activity at work. My knee made it difficult to do more.

Eating: 3/7 - Three decent days. I went out with the girls after practice and made some poor life choices on Wednesday. The rest of the days I threw myself a bit of an eating party. Its how I cope with stress, pain, and PMSing.

Weight: ⚖ Maintained this week. I'll take it!

Stress: 👎 It's been a bit rough at work, and with my knee. 

Decluttering: 👎 None really this week. But now that we have a place I expect there to be much purging and packing! I'm off on Monday, I expect to start then.

Sleep: 5.5/7 - 👍 Did great this week, totally made up for last week. Just gotta try to keep it up. Wednesday I didn't do too hot, staying out till about 1 am, then going to work, but the other days

FFF: 14 - Late; Life Asplode

Super late with my Fit for Friday. It is Sunday night right now, ha. Better late than never, though!

Life has been crazy this week. I worked overtime 4/5 of my work days. I went to sports practice three days this week, plus I volunteered at our game last night. Sir and I are also apartment hunting, contacting people and doing showings and whatnot. We think we have found a suitable one. We're meeting this Tuesday to apply - keep your fingers crossed! I can't wait for it to be July, and for life to be just... less. This is not the kind of asplode we need. We need this kind:

One of the few downsides to the place we want is we can't get a cat. But we also don't have to be there forever, either. Onto this past week!

If you haven't checked in with Fondles for Fit for Friday, do so! 

Apparently I am not the only late one this week!!

Workouts: 5/7 - Three sports practices. Did an interval running thing with Sir tonight, then we finished that up with a walk. On Monday, we went out for dinner and had a longer walk to and from the restaurant. I love living in a walkable area! I was also pretty active with work and volunteering, though I didn't count them as specific workouts.

Eating: 1.5/7 - I logged, but between getting brunch with a friend, movie popcorn with Sir, pizza Sir got cause I left out the taco meat all day and went to work (he is awesome by the way, no complaints about the pizza), and eating fast food out while we were apartment hunting, I definitely overdid it. But increased activity must have balanced it out.

Weight:  👍 Down 1.2 lbs! Starting to lose the stuff I gained while I was away. I'm still higher than where I need to be. I go up, I go down, like a yoyo, but I keep gaining and losing the same 2 - 3 lbs. My next breakthrough, I feel will be getting to 172, then lower!!

Stress: 👎This has been a crazy week. Sir and I are both feeling it.

Decluttering: 👍Though my house is a total wreck and every dish we own needs to be washed (tomorrow!), we did donate our cat stuff to the local pet pantry. Out went his litter box, litter mat, food and water dish, food mat, cat scratcher, toys and balls, fur brush, pet carrier, and fancy water fountain. It was actually more stuff than we realized, and I'm not convinced there's not more down there (I know we bought him a bed). My heart is a little heavy with giving it away. I miss my little furball. And though we want another kitty, I wondered if it would be weird (for us, kitty won't care) for new kitty to be using old kitty's stuff. It is a moot point though; we figured that we're not going to be able to get another cat for awhile, plus we don't want to pack it up when we move. So out it goes. And it's a good cause!

Sleep: 3/7 - Definitely feeling sleep deprived. With everything going on, there were quite a few nights with about 6 hours. That is not sufficient for me. At the end of this week I was at a 9+ hour deficit (my sleep app tracks that). Hopefully I can "catch up", though that's not really how it works.

Hope you all had a good week. I'll try to get around and play catch up with you soon!

FFF: Mean Thirteen

 Fit for Friday!

I'm back from my work trip. It was a good trip, and I feel I learned a lot. I definitely did not work out much, and I overindulged on the food. But I feel that life is meant to be enjoyed in moments like these, and as long as you don't make it an everyday habit, indulge a little. Getting back to the healthier routine today!

Sir is over the moon that I am back. We took a little evening walk last night and reveled in each other's company. I'm glad to be back too. Onto the recap!

Workouts: 1/7 - No sports. I barely worked out during the business trip. I got to swim for about ten minutes one night before a hoard of noisy teenagers overtook the pool.

Eating: 0/7 - I didn't even log it. They had some nice catering for the meeting, and we were going out to neat restaurants and meeting up at bars to drink heavily network. Back on the horse this week though!

Weight: Gained 1.6 lbs. I'm not feeling bad about it though, I expected it. It's okay as long as I start anew today.

Stress: I was away and enjoying myself. I have a three-day weekend right now. Life is good at the moment, haha.

Decluttering: Definitely not. Maybe this weekend!

Sleep: 4.5/7 - Not bad for this week! Had trouble getting to bed last night, and one night at the meeting there was a truck backing up so loudly and I was up a few hours early. But other than that, sleep was good!

I feel almost safe to say that spring has sprung here. It's wet and rainy, but the temperatures are good! Hope you get to go out and enjoy it!!

Work Stuff and More Garter Testing 4 - In the "Cold"

I am happily on my business trip. So far, it has been pretty good, except for missing Sir. We did a puzzle room as a teambuilding exercise, then went to dinner at this historic tavern, where everyone was dressed up like it was the mid-1800s and the food was fantastic. The sessions today were really informative and well done. And they gave us tacos for lunch!!

One thing that I find interesting is how people dress here. Normally, we all wear uniforms to work. But at this meeting we can dress casually. I am 95% sure I am the only person wearing a skirt today. I am on a break right now, but we're meeting again in a bit and I am going to look around a little more closely. Thinking of skirts is making me think of the most recent "Garter Testing" that Sir and I did a few weeks ago.

So, Sir and I went out to run errands. I was being grumpy and didn't want to go. But I sucked it up and thought, this might be a good time to try and test the garter belt and socks outdoors in cold weather.

Sir checked the weather and it said it was 39 degrees. Not bad, good enough for a test in the cold, we thought.

I feel like I looked pretty presentable. Just an everyday woman running errands. You couldn't tell what was underneath. And it looked to me like a normal outfit I'd wear outside.

Sir and I went to his doctor's appointment. Then we stopped to pick up his prescriptions. Then we went to Best Buy to get a flash drive, and look at replacing his tablet.

The garter belt is fine. Very comfortable. Stays where it should. I'm really quite happy with it. The socks... while they stayed up, again they are just a bit too tight in the thigh. As time went on they were getting more and more uncomfortable. When I got home I couldn't wait to get them off!

As for testing in the cold... well it warmed up. It was 50 degrees! I even took my coat off. I was very comfortable wearing these in terms of warmth at 50... not sure again how it would hold up to colder temps.I could feel a breeze around my upper thighs, but on a day like today, it was pleasant. I enjoyed it. If it were colder... I think I will need a slip and much longer skirts to be warm in those colder temps. More wardrobe to acquire!

So while I am not wearing those garters today (I have leggings on underneath my skirt), it is something to think about. Maybe this time next year at this meeting, I won't have leggings; I'll have my thigh-highs and garters!!

It actually makes me a little nervous; being "that person". Because what if they are seen... what will my coworkers think? Will it affect my employment somehow?

Just little thoughts of paranoia. I could also get a longer skirt to be sure they won't be seen, too!! Only time will tell what will happen, though. Except getting rid of the leggings. Sir's already decreed that, so it will happen!

FFF Twelve

Squeezing in Fit for Friday!

Really crazy busy this week. Sir started his new job. We're apartment hunting. Work issues causing me to stay late. Volunteering, too. I'm gonna do a quick update so I can maybe get to bed before midnight!

Workouts: 3/7 - Two sports practices, and a lot of hiking at work.

Eating: 2.5/7 - went to a conference on Saturday and ate whatever. Had some very snacky evenings.

Weight: Lost 0.8 lbs! :)

Stress: This week was tougher with change and work stress, but today was good. Slept in. Watched a movie with Sir. Got ice cream. Did some yardwork. Went to a fancy gala tonight.

Decluttering: I think the yard work counts! Sir and I took a huge bucket of sticks to the town compost park. I pulled weeds and got rid of the evergreens I had up for winter ( which were not so green anymore).

Sleep: 5/7 - pretty good this week! I took naps or went to bed early when I could. 7-9 hours every night!

I may be MIA next week. Going away for work. Will be eating poorly; whatever they feed us. I am being put up in a hotel though, so I plan on using the fitness center, and hitting the pool and hot tub!!

Ask and You Shall Receive

Last Tuesday I was off work. On a lovely weekday. I had a nice lemon tart in a coffee-shop while reading a book. I got my car serviced. I made a nice dinner and spent time with Sir when he got home.

Lately, I've been feeling pretty frisky. More than "normal" I suppose. When he first got home, I was not subtle about it. At all.

But Sir was tired after a long day at work. And it *was* late. So he said he just wanted to watch TV and go to bed. So we did watch TV, and I got ready for bed too. In my long warm pajamas and my big bathrobe, and I got myself all bundled up in bed with the heating blanket on.

Just when I felt ready to pass out, Sir changed his mind.

Initially I was grumpy. You see, Sir has tended toward a habit of waiting until what feels like the last minute to get it on. When we were both off work, he'd have literally the entire day, and then right before bed is when he'd start making a move. It felt like he would do this every time to me! I would get so frustrated, since I felt like I was putting myself out there all day and now when I'm tired and ready for bed (and not feeling so sexy anymore), he's finally ready?

I did tell him, "You know, you did have the entire evening..."

On the other hand, I am his submissive. If he feels like it is sexytime, it IS sexytime.

And he was right, and it was fantastic.

Plus, wasn't I the one saying last week that this was one of the few things I was willing to lose sleep over?

I got what I asked for and it was worth it, though I lost sight of it momentarily.

FFF: Eleven - Fresh Start Friday

Time for Fit for Friday!

Hope the week is treating you all well. It's been a busy one for me with work and other things, but I'm off this weekend so hopefully I can play catch up, and be outside. It looks like spring may finally be here, for real!


Workouts: 5/7 - Pretty good this week. Friday, between hiking and walking downtown, I did over 6 miles. Sunday was sports practice, and I went for a two mile run with a teammate right after. Tuesday I did this lower body workout. Did a walk on Wednesday, and another sports practice on Thursday.

Eating: 2/7 - Sir and I went out for wings and beer on Saturday night. On Tuesday I was off work and threw myself an eating party. And I only now just finished the last of my Easter candy, which I've been eating all week. I think I am PMS-ing too.

Weight: Gained another 0.8 lbs. Maybe some of it is bloat, but a lot of it is food. Hopefully back on track this week!

Stress: Despite it all, I feel pretty good. Having this weekend off helps.

Decluttering: Maybe that will happen this week? I did bring some boxes home for our eventual move!

Sleep: 4/7 - Three nights over 8 hours, two over 7. Tuesday was another night where I was okay with losing sleep. Last night was rough though. Couldn't fall asleep after practice, and had to be up at 5:30 AM. Still, I think I'm getting used to it, and I'm not as exhausted as before.

Sir starts his brand new job on Monday! And we can finally start looking for apartments to reduce the commute times. We're going out tomorrow night to celebrate. Hooray, date night! I'm hoping to attack the garden this week. And perhaps I can have a fresh week to work on my weight goals this week too.

Happy Spring!

The Last Pair of Pants

Over five years ago, Sir decided to give me a dress code. I was not to wear pants or shorts anymore. I was to wear skirts and dresses only. I could wear tight leggings under them, for warmth in the cold, but that was it. Sir realized this wasn't going to happen overnight, and over time I've gotten more skirts and dresses and stopped purchasing pants altogether. I've donated and gifted the pants I did have, little by little. So, though I've been extremely compliant in this dress code for years now...

I finally got rid of my last real pair of pants:

These. This unassuming little pair of black sweatpants. They finally went to the donation pile. And with that, I now own no pairs of wearable pants. I have one pair of jeans (that I would never wear), that I keep for sentimental reasons. They're not even in my closet, not that I could fit into them anyway, ha! They're covered in paint splatters and colorful stitching from projects in high school. They live with other sentimental clothing in a box under the bed, and hardly ever see the light of day.

So now, in essence, I am a pantsless person. I still have the leggings, but they always get worn under a skirt or dress, not by themselves. And now, those are going, too. I have donated two pairs of leggings thus far. It will probably take years, but they will disappear from my life as well.

Goodbye pants! You were nice, and you were comfy. But I haven't actually put you on for a year or two, and you were a crutch. Just knowing you were in the closet, should I need you. But I don't!

Not anymore.

Kinky Tune Tuesday: U2 With or Without You

Heard this oldie but goodie on the radio the other day. It spoke to me; I could see the kink in a song I've always before enjoyed at face value.

FFF: Tardy with Ten

A little late in getting to the Tenth Fit for Friday!

This was a busy week. Lots of exercise, lots of traveling. Lots of events. I straight up forgot to weigh in yesterday morning. Then I had a promotion event for sports right after work, and when I got home, I took a nice hot bath to ease my aching body, then cuddled up in my blankets and watched Jesus Christ Superstar Live! on Demand. Catching up now!

Workouts: 3.5/7 - I feel pretty good about the amount of workouts this week,though I made it to only one sports practice (other was cancelled for Easter). Most of the rest was due to work things and other commitments, but however it is fit in,  it counts for me! Went for a walk on Sunday with Sir and his family. Hiked over 3 miles on Wed. Should have went to sports Wed, but I was pooped. Thursday I went to practice, and we also did circuit training there, which was a killer! 

Eating: 1/7 - Oh man. Between my Uncle's party on Saturday, Easter Dinner on Sunday, and literally having candy every single day... this week was a crapshoot. A tasty one, hahaha! Sir and I made each other cute little Easter baskets. He put my favorite jellybeans in there, plus Cadbury caramel eggs (one of my few chocolate weaknesses!). Then the next day, he got me another bag of jellybeans, plus Swedish fish eggs and a Godiva bunny (cause it was the after-Easter Sale, he said, hahaha). I brought some to work, but all that means is that I'm eating it both at home AND at work! Candy and soda are my real weaknesses.

Weight:  Gained 0.6 lbs. It's less than I expected. Tomorrow is another day, another week!

Stress: I feel okay, but tired. Not so much needing sleep tired as body fatigue; muscle aches. Also, I had a migraine on Thursday, which made going to practice really difficult. I don't typically get migraines. Sir has had to explain what was happening to me every single time I get one. I don't recall getting any growing up or in my early 20's. Maybe one in my late 20's (now that I know what to look for). And maybe 4 or 5 in the past 3 years. I don't know what brings them on. I realize I am fortunate in that there are those who suffer from them much more regularly.

Decluttering: I did a little better with keeping the house in order, but no "extra" decluttering, really. I did put one book in the donation box though!

Sleep: 4.5/7 - I am trying and managing a bit better I think. Two nights over 9 hours! One night of 6 hours (the reason was so worth it). I took a nap on Thursday before practice and between the nap and regular sleep, I *almost* got 8 hours. Woo!

Hopefully Spring is springing. We were supposed to get snow, but that forecast got tossed out, thankfully! Hopefully it's warming up where you are, (or cooling down if you're on the other side of here)!

What Are You Willing to Lose Sleep For?

We all lose sleep over things sometimes.

Sometimes it is because we are anxious or worried. Sometimes it is because we are helping others. Sometimes it is because we want to have a little more fun! Stay out at that concert, dance late at that party, have a few more glasses of wine, etc.

But the next morning, sometimes we have regrets.

"Ohhh.... I shouldn't have done that!"

What are the things that you don't have those feelings about? That you may wake up tired, and drag a little through the day... but you have no regrets? Thinking of the previous night brings you happiness, or peace.

One of the things for me, I realized, is intimacy with Sir.

Lately, things have just been hard. Sir is stressed, and very anxious. My job gives me a full plate, and then we both add our extracurricular activities, as it were to them. Though we love each other and cuddle and kiss and hang out, sex things just haven't been happening. Long make-out sessions. Lazy weekend cuddles where we don't have to be anywhere. Exploring the body with fingers. Actual sex. Any real kink whatsoever. Just hasn't been happening so much. We'd even spoke about literally penciling it in. I actually keep a private calendar on my phone to document when it does go down, just so I'm more aware. When we spoke, I think we both came to the conclusion that Tuesday night, that was when it was gonna "go down".

Last  Sunday, Sir and I got in late. We were away in New Jersey. We put our things away. We had some food. We exchanged Easter baskets. We took showers and made the bed. I thought it was just time for bedtime.

But Sir made the time and had the patience to take his time. We made out. He ran his hands all over my body. And we engaged in a little dominance and humiliation, which I get embarrassed over, but definitely find hot.

I have a problem with being fingered or receiving oral. It's not that I won't do it, or "allow" it to happen. It just makes me extremely uncomfortable for some reason. Like I'm on display, and that the attention is on me way too much somehow.

Sir decided that he was going to have his fun with me, with his fingers. I was not to move away, or clamp down on his hands to make it stop. I did feel embarrassed and exposed. I sat on my own hands to help me comply. And Sir enjoyed it; this simple act of dominance that required no rope, no props, just him and me submitting to his will.

And with his patience, I eventually got into it, and we had some really fantastic sex afterwards. More showering and cuddling and loveliness.

And it was way past my bedtime when we were done and ready to sleep.

In the morning though... I felt peace. I was tired, sure. But as I sipped my tea driving to work, I could feel myself smiling, replaying the night in my head. I'm glad we didn't have to "pencil it in". I'm glad. I have no regrets. It was worth the lack of sleep.

Phrasing - Demands vs. Questions

Two weeks ago, Sir went with me to the supermarket. He doesn't usually go with me; it is one of his most hated chores. Our financial division of labor goes such that he pays the rent (and other things), while I pick up the groceries (and other things).

But while I had been back at work for the past two weeks, I wouldn't get a paycheck for another two weeks yet. That makes four weeks, an entire month without getting paid. I simply ran out of money, things got too tight. We knew it was coming. I even put a plan in place so that this hopefully won't happen again next year. But that was the situation now.

So, Sir came with me so he could be my Sugar Daddy and pay for all the groceries, while I picked them out.

When we got back, Sir told me to pull into our driveway. Our driveway fits one car (barely), so one of us always has to park on the street. Sir was leaving that night to go gaming.

"Park in the driveway; it's okay, I'll look for a spot when I get back," he said.

I wasn't having it though.

"No, there's a spot right here, I'll take it so you don't have to look later."

And that's what I did. I parked on the street. We grabbed the groceries and brought them into the house. Sir went out to game. When he got home, he'd have a free driveway so he doesn't have to drive around looking for a spot. The later it is in our neighborhood, the scarcer the parking spots are and farther away he'd have to look.

But it got me to thinking.

While my heart was definitely in the right place; the place of wanting to make his life easier, I outright defied him. I heard him, and then decided: nope, not gonna do that, and then did what I thought was best. Now, this is a minor thing in the grand scheme of things, and I truly believe that it is not on Sir's radar at all. But I could have asked. I could have phrased it differently, and waited to hear his reply. He probably would have decided to have me park on the street had I said something like:

"Are you sure, Sir? There's a spot right here I could take so it would be easier for you later."

Phrasing and mindset are things I've been trying to work on. It's clear I need a lot more work.

New Garter Belt and Thigh High - Test 3!

My new "real" garter belt finally came in. I remembered that I still had an Amazon gift card, so I figured I'd take a peek at what they had on there. I chose this one:

Rago Women's Six-Strap Garter Belt

And because of my giftcard, it was essentially free!

My new thigh highs had already come in, so it was time to test. I didn't have anywhere to go until my evening sports practice, so I figured I'd just test them while doing chores around the house.

First, the thigh highs:

 

They're definitely better than the black ones I tested. The extra lace portion ensures that they are thigh-highs. And it gives an easier area to attach a garter clip. But they are tight! You can see my thighs muffin topping twice in these socks.

Next, getting that garter belt on:

I'm glad so far that I picked this one. It definitely is made of sturdier stuff than the mesh one I first got. It doesn't have hooks at all, so there's no risk of it popping off at the back. I have to slide it on like a skirt. And it is just tight enough that I feel like it will stay up all day. I ordered a 2X. I feel snug and secure in it.

Next are the clips and straps. They're metal! And the button is a nice hard rubber that seems to hold well. When you lift up the strap, there are teeth to hold it in place after you slide it to desired length.

I threw on a random dress and went about  my day.

They stayed at my waist. Check! The clips stayed put. Check!

The only thing I disliked about the garter belt was that it is difficult to put the clips on at the backs of my legs. But I think that is more of a me issue- that I have to get used to doing it, and less of a problem with the garter itself.

I am very optimistic that this can be an everyday garter belt. Still need some better thigh highs, but these will serve. They did feel quite tight at the thigh after awhile. But still, better than the previous black ones! Sir and I  also tried to test it in the cold weather, but the weather didn't cooperate; it was too nice out!

March Question: Pets

Squeezing in this last question on the last day of the month! Phew! Thank you all for your questions. I'd never participated before and wasn't even sure people HAD questions! It was fun!

Without further ado...

ancilla_ksst asked:

What is the weirdest pet you've ever owned, if any? What is the strangest animal you'd like to have if time/money/space was no object?

Pets. I love animals, as Sir is aware of, much to his chagrin at times.

I think what seems weird to most folks around here is that I've NEVER had a dog. And while I like cats, I've only had two in my whole life (though Sir and I want to get another one once we move). I'd say I'm more of a cat person, as far as "normal" pets go. I consider "normal" pets as cat/dog. Because if you have pets other than those, you usually have to find a special vet to care for them, they're not in the norm.

My very first pet ever was a frog. We named him Jeramaia after the song, though we spelled it differently. And he wasn't a bullfrog. He was some little dwarf frog. He was weird, and didn't want to eat. At all. No matter what we gave him. My mom had some kind of fear of killing our very first pet so she would force feed him Tender Vittles cat food pellets. I'm sure that wasn't good for him.

I realize now that we were ignorant city folk. Ectothermic animals don't have to eat everyday. That poor little fellow. We had him for awhile, and when he passed we went to the nearest woods and buried him. Put a rock over his grave and sharpied a big "J" onto it.

Growing up I had a few goldfish. Some other kind of colorful fish (that ate each other). I've mentioned Sunny, our cute little cockatiel. My dad briefly had a cat when I was a kid. My brother had a hamster for awhile.

When I was in high school, my brother and I each got a guinea pig from my cousins. On the ride home, he decided he didn't want his (and we did not live together at the time). So I got two of them. We were told they were both girls. Since that turned out not to be true, I went from one, to two, to FOUR. I learned how to sex them pretty quickly after that.

I was not the best guinea pig owner, and I think four of them was too much for me. My dad also hated animals with "little creepy feet" as he called it. When I went away to a college couple years later, those same cousins got my little piggies.

I know I've mentioned my amazing little kitty that passed away last year. He was a very special cat that I absolutely adored, and his passing left a huge hole in both my and Sir's hearts. I loved that cat more than I loved a lot of people, even. When we were in NJ we even moved just so we could keep him.

Other than those, I do have a bearded dragon. I had two, but my male passed on several years ago. So I just have a cute little female left. She is very chill and has spent most of the winter hibernating. I hope she comes out of it soon. I poke her now and again to make sure she's alright in there.

I mentioned before that I'd like to get another cat. I've thought about getting a couple of chickens in the past, though we'd have to have a house for that. I like snakes, and birds, and fish and turtles. I'm trying to think of an animal I wouldn't theoretically want to have.

But honestly, and this is huge for me to admit... I think just the cat would be fine. Sir and I are so busy that I sometimes feel that I neglect my lizard a bit. Because she is in her tank and pretty chill and doesn't demand attention. I have to be mindful to make time for her. Whereas my little kitty would come up and demand affection, demand to be fed, cuddle up in your lap... it was easier.

I wouldn't want to take on an animal that I feel I would neglect and feel guilty about. It's not fair to the critter after all.

So hopefully a cat it will be, for me and Sir in the near future!

FFF: 9 is Fine

9 weeks in - Fit for Friday!

I feel better this week, like I'm finally starting to get the hang of this new schedule, sleep deprived and all. I switched back to a black tea in the morning. I think the small amount of caffeine helps. I was doing decaf before. If I have an additional tea, I'll do the decaf then.

Workouts: 4/7 - Not too much this week. I think I did the bare minimum; basically things that I am forced to do. Three sports practices. I don't "have" to do them, but I signed up so it's an obligation to go. Though I'm usually glad to be there. I also snowshoed again on Saturday. We still have snow here!

I am lucky in that I have a very physical job. For work, I often have to do a lot of recreational physical activity. I sometimes think to myself, I can't believe I am getting paid for this right now! Now that I am back at work, these will help with my workout and fitness goals, though.

Seriously considering reducing the sports practices from 3 to 2 a week. Two is the minimum; though I try for 3. Going again on Thursday after going Wednesday and getting up for work at 5:30 was a bit much. My skills suffered for it too; I lost points. We'll see.'

I have been doing squats and other things at work while waiting for the laminator or making copies, etc. I got some strange looks, but whatever.

Eating: 2.5/7 - This was not a great eating week. It was that time of the month for me and I wanted to eat everything in sight. And I did, haha. Workouts helped burn some of it off, thankfully. I finished the brownies I made, had a little sangria party for one. Yesterday I went to Chick-Fil-A. We just got one and I'd never been. I was disappointed. I didn't understand the appeal, and this place was packed! I got nuggets and fries; two fast food staples so I could make easy comparisons. The fries were soggy as were the nuggets. I don't see myself going back. What a waste of calories. The service was fantastic though; maybe that's why people go?

Weight:  Down a pound! I'm not sure how with my half-week eating party. I'll take it though! With the holiday this weekend I don't have high expectations for next week. We'll see.

Stress: I'm... managing. Took more baths this week. Managed to read a little. Meant to do my nails, but didn't get around to it. Maybe today. I made a new "rule" that if it is after 8 pm, I will not pick up the phone or answer text messages. Unless it is Sir, or some kinda life-or-death situation. It's too much. My mother has also relapsed and has taken to calling me completely sloshed in the evenings. I can't deal.

Decluttering: Nope. This is going to have to be my prime focus area. Today, Sir gave me one task and one task only before I leave to visit my uncle: Do the dishes. I did some before breakfast, and I'll get that sink decluttered before I leave today!

Sleep: 4/7 - Two nights over 8 hours. Got to sleep in this morning. One night under 7, the other 5 nights at 7 hours. I feel... okay. A little tired but not exhausted. I could definitely go back to bed though. I am looking forward to sleeping later the next couple of days!

That's it for me here. If you celebrate, I hope you all have a fantastic Easter holiday, or a wonderful Passover with family and friends. I went out last night and got stuff to make Sir a little Easter basket. When we get back Sunday nights, I hope he'll be happy with it! We'll be visiting his mom and sister.