I think he missed me. Well, I KNOW he missed me. He told me that he was actually lonely, and he has a better understanding of what it is like for me to be here, alone, allllll day. Though I'm not glad that he was lonely this weekend, I'm glad he had that realization of what my days might be like right now; maybe it will help him understand me better.
It seemed like Sir couldn't wait for me to get home; he was READY. When I finished unloading the car, and I put my collar on (I remembered; hooray!). He had me sit down at the kitchen table and wait. He came back and immediately bound my hands behind the chair! He said he was practicing a new tie, and evidently he got it right, it was very quick, but also very adjustable. He then used some thick ribbon to blindfold my eyes. He had to adjust it a few time. As soon as he had me secured, that is of course when I get the wiggles because I'm itchy.
I heard him fussing about in the kitchen, and then he returned to the dining table.
"Open your mouth."
I did as I was told, and felt... a cup. He had me drink from the cup!
It was... grape soda.
Sir isn't particularly fond of grape soda, but he knows that I have the eating habits of a 13 year old boy, and so we shared the cup.
I heard him bring something else over to the table, and I smelled... apples.
Again I heard, "Open".
I did and I tasted... fish!
He continued this way, sharing the plate of lemon pepper fish, Rice, Broccoli. Alternating with cups of Grape soda.
"Open."
At the end of it all, my nose was correct - there WERE apples!
I really enjoyed Sir feeding me and being in control of that meal. The sensory deprivation helped. We chatted about our weekends while he fed me and himself.
After the meal, Sir clipped my leash to my collar and away he dragged me into the bedroom.
Once I felt the carpet that surrounds our bed, I was unceremoniously pushed onto it. I ended up laying on my side right at the edge of the foot of the bed. Sir climbed up behind me and started touching me gently, until he wailed on my ass with that huge hand of his.
I loved it.
He then decided to use me as a pillow. I was a little unsteady, so I used one foot on the floor to stabilize myself. After a bit, Sir asked me if I was steady on the bed. I let him know that I already had one foot on the floor. He had me get myself up and he lead me over to the other side of the room, where he pushed me back down on the bed. Then he got in and resumed using me as a pillow for underneath his knees. I liked being of use this way for him. While I was laying there, he would pinch my left nipple, and then took the strap of my leash and beat my breasts as much as he could, given that I was nicely padded with bra, tank top, and t-shirt still on. He said he was going to keep at it until I gave a satisfactory reaction. Which meant hitting me harder until I squeaked. Sir says that if I'm not making noise, he's not doing his job.
He had me get myself up and stand. He used the ends of the rope that was binding my arms to whip my legs and ass. He then removed my blindfold. The room was dark. He turned the lights off for my eyes, how nice! He pushed the upper half of my body down so that I was bent over, taking my leash and forcing it between my legs and behind me, holding me in place. He pulled tighter and tighter on the leash, smacking my ass, and using the rope to whip me. His voice was very... soothing, though I could hear a bit of menace behind it. Even though the blindfold was removed, I could only see my feet and his as he continued striking my ass and breasts, asking me questions.
"Do you know why I'm doing this?"
".... to remind me whose submissive bitch I am, Sir?"
"Very Good."
He had me hold the leash behind my back as he continued his efforts. Sir likes me to have a hand in my own tortures.
"How does it feel?"
"It's ...uncomfortable, Sir".
"Do you like it?"
"...yes, Sir."
It IS uncomfortable to have chain digging into your lady area and up in your butt. But, I still like it, because he's making me do it. He brought me up briefly for a kiss as I was still holding my leash behind me, and it was just as he released me that I could feel the haze of subspace just descend on me. I don't think I've ever felt it so acutely, being able to pinpoint the moment. Usually I'm already down, and I fuzzily think to myself, "oh look..."
He had me go make his lunch for the next day then, and it was interesting to be doing a routine task spacey like that, sort of like being punch-drunk. Sir came into the kitchen to remove my leash, but apparently I made a sad face so he left it on.
When I was done with his lunch, he dragged me into the office and had me kneel next to him as he was sitting in his chair. He had me sit there with him as he played Skyrim. He would pet my head at odd intervals.
He asked if I wanted a pillow to kneel, and I declined. I'm not sure if it would have helped. I have a really hard time kneeling. Not so much staying on my knees, but sitting back on my legs when kneeling. The pressure immediately cuts off circulation to my lower legs and feet, and begins hurting. I'm wondering what I can do to train myself to kneel better, or endure it better at least. I am not a graceful kneeler. I spend my time wiggling and alternating getting on all fours, which I think amuses Sir, especially when he's petting my head. He said I looked uncomfortable, and I told him that I was thinking of asking him if I could sit pretzel style. He immediately said no. Though I hurt, it pleased me, that he would deny me the comfort. I need to learn to submit in situations like that with grace. I do it, but I should do it gracefully and make it look effortless, which I definitely don't.
Sir finished his game and it was time for bed! Sir let me wear my shorts to bed (it's my time of the month) which was nice of him. But he did not permit me a shirt. Learning to sleep without clothes will take some getting used to.
It was nice to have an evening like this. Usually our evenings end in some kind of sex. (Not that I'm complaining about sex). Sir said that because I mentioned my discomfort due to time of month issues, he decided not to end the evening with sex, and it was kind of nice. To have a scene not end in a typical "let's fuck now" fashion. To just do it for the sake of the merit in the activities themselves. The domination and submission.
Though he did say last night, that I better be ready for today because it is ON when he gets home!
Submitting with grace can be difficult when one is uncomfortable, either in body or mind. I had a (small) lesson in this last weekend, and whilst it thoroughly pissed me off at the time, in retrospect I'm glad of the denial.
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