Wednesday, April 15, 2015

I Can't Top, Sir!

Every once in a while Sir says something to the effect of: well, if you were going to plan a scene, what would you do?

This is so hard for me.

One, as a submissive, I really get uncomfortable with that kind of power and control.

Secondly, if I were to plan a scene that is basically telling Sir what to do to me - I'm not sure if I would be into it. A large part of the appeal is that He is the one who chooses what he wants to do. What implements to use, how I will be positioned, etc.

Thirdly, if I were plan a scene that focuses on my serving Sir... it's very difficult. Sir does not respond positively at all to most forms of touch. If I'm not dancing around naked or actively sucking his cock, he is not interested. He likes massages, but that's about it. I'm also not allowed to touch his hair or feet, and he doesn't like being touched... really anywhere on his body. He actively moves my hands away from rubbing him. So the bag of toys we have are really not useful. I've thought about trying to perform submissive acts for his benefit, but part of the submission is succumbing to his will.

Fourthly, I think I would be... boring. Sir says that when it comes to me, I come up with brilliant ideas that he can use, without thinking first. But I don't know what I would do to him. Or for him that he would enjoy and not be over in 5 minutes.

Sir hasn't demanded that I plan a scene for us, but I wonder what would happen if he made me do it.

My stomach doesn't like the idea.

2 comments:

  1. For me, it`s not a plan, of what WILL happen, it`s a communication of what I would like to try, perhaps do or incorporate in a scene for the enjoyment of both of us. I see this as an great opportunity. You do not have to go into great detail, of his foot is here, my ass there, start with perhaps a few words and extend from there. At the end of the day, the Dominant decides if he will or won`t do the scene or parts of it, so you are not topping. You are simply expressing yourself through open communication, sadly (and I so wish he was, hmm but then again lol) are not mind readers lol.

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    Replies
    1. I think we do a good job of communicating likes, dislikes, desires - I think its more about being put on the spot. It's not just Sir asking me what I would like, sometimes he asks what I would do were I to be in charge of him!

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