My Collared Bear

This weekend I was getting ready to take a shower. Taking a shower is one of the few times where I remove my collars while in the house. My collars are leather so we don't want them to be destroyed.

I am in my 30's but I still sleep with a teddy bear that I've had since I was a little kid. She was gifted to me by my Uncle, who later passed when I was 11. So, she's very important to me. Other plushies have come and gone, but Diana always remains.

Sir has totally embraced this. He even cuddles and sleeps with her when I am not around, which makes me adore him even more.

I took off my wristcollar to shower and on pure impulse, placed it around Diana's neck.

Looks good, yes? Hahaha.

Sir thought it was amusing, at least. Of course he had to tighten it. Lucky she's stuffed or she'd have been choking.

Meme - How well do I know my own blog?

I saw this on a couple of blogs I follow.


1) Your top 5 popular posts, bonus if you get them in order.

I'll probably fail at this.

Wartenburg Wheel Take 2
The First Bedtime Punishment
Punishment Mission 2 AM

Um, I don't freaking know...

BDSM Songs
Adverse Reactions and Anxiety?

I did okay here - half right.

1. Wartenberg Wheel Take Two
2. Bedtime and Punishments
3. The First Bedtime Punishment
4. BDSM In Songs (I should make this a regular thing)
5. There's Homework in D/s?

2) Last 5 blogs you commented on.

Master Dream's Precious Treasure
The Sub-Mission
A New Devious Chapter
A Slave to Master
Master's Pleasing Bitch

I'm not sure how to check this, but this is probably pretty accurate. I've spent today and some of last night getting caught up.

3) How many followers do you have?
80-something?

84 - pretty close.


4) Your total viewings, to the nearest 100?
101,000?

A little off here - 107,288

5) How many blog posts have you published?

Oh crap, I don't know... 300? 

227 - I actually scaled back my initial guess. I write less than I should.


6) How many posts in drafts?

None - I had about 20, but I recently finished and published them!

Wow, was I wrong. There are 12 still in there!

7) How many blogs do you follow?

40?

59. Some haven't updated in ages, though. Not sure how many are actually active. I try not to unfollow, because there have been many that come back.

8) What post has received the most comments?

Not sure... the one with the apron?

Wrong. 

For You, Sir. 19 comments. A couple were me, but it was for Sinful Sunday, so that does make sense!


9) Your first blog entry title?

A Bit of Backstory (I know I have this one right) 

And I was correct. :)


10) Why did you choose the name of your blog?

Selecting a name for my blog was actually really important to me. I feel kind of dorky about it now. I hadn't even met Sir yet. I waffled back and forth between a bunch of options (none of which I remember now). I remember picking a few that I found were taken, or very very similar to other people. I wanted something that I thought I was clever, not just Lea's Blog. Something with a pun, maybe. So initially, I liked Submissions, because the root word for submission was in there. But I thought that was too ambiguous so I changed it to Submissive Missions. But my url is still sub-missions. I actually love my blog name. I am on little missions to be more and more submissive. Not too much hyperbole there.

Practicing Patience

I am off today. Sir and I went out for dinner last night, and there weren't any leftovers to pack for his lunch. I could have put something together last night, but I didn't.

So this morning I got up with Sir to prepare a lunch and a breakfast for him. I was sleepy and not fully awake, but I think it helped me. I just... felt submissive this morning. He was brushing his teeth and whatnot in the bathroom when I asked him a question about what he would like to do for a beverage for his lunch (I need to go to the store). He was a little bit unintelligible, but then I clearly heard him tell me to wait.

So, I stopped and waited, standing for him in the living room.

And waited.

He seemed to be taking a long time. I was starting to get impatient. I am not a patient person. It is something I have to work on.

Sir has recently said that he is more patient, while I am more responsible. But this morning, I didn't let my impatience get the best of me. I walked over to our couch, sat down, and just waited. 

As he instructed.

And I just felt... peace. I felt an overwhelming sense of rightness come over me. So I just sat there, waiting for his response. After he came out and dealt with me/the situation and had breakfast, he told me to go to back to bed. I was going to wait for him until he left, to be a good submissive.

But what is good here? That's not for me to decide. Sir grabbed me by my collar, dragged me into the bedroom, and shoved me into the bed, where he then lovingly tucked me in, placing kisses on my forehead before departing for the day.

I need to learn when I should be patient and when not to be!

Unplanned Celebration Dinner

I gave my part-time job notice today, and had a nice day outdoors.

Sir and I were going to grab something quick for dinner, but that turned into me changing so I wasn't wearing my work uniform. That turned into and impromptu date night, which ended up turning into a celebratory dinner for the new job, and for Sir passing a certification exam. We haven't gone out to a real restaurant in months.

It was nice.

We took a walk downtown to a local Japanese restaurant and got some sushi. Sir also ordered a Hibachi Chicken meal for me and a Teriyaki Chicken meal for himself. We are sooo full. At least the walking back helped a little bit.

And I don't have to panic about finances - we were just able to enjoy it.

I will be cooking for tomorrow night though - can't do this all the time!

Good News!

A great, long weekend.

I had an interview on Friday afternoon. Took a lovely walk in the woods. Drove to NJ to visit with my Dad for Father's Day, and see my mom and grandmother. Just got back a few hours ago.

While away, I got some wonderful news - I got the job!

I GOT THE JOB!

A wonderful job doing exactly what I want to do with my career. Decent pay, and perks.

I start in a couple of weeks.

Sir and I can stop stressing so much about finances. Sir and I can start moving forward again.

Sir can stop worrying about my former career path and my well-being.

Now that I am no longer doing it, I feel a bit more comfortable in talking about my former employment more openly (Sir has also said that he is pretty much forbidding me from seriously entering that line of work again).

Without going into too many specifics, I was a public secondary education classroom teacher. And while I loved the kids and my subject - I really hated it overall. The demands, the HOURS, the stress. The grading, the parents.... It was honestly just not worth it for me. And when we moved, I couldn't even find a decent position, and the one I did find did not pay benefits or a living wage. But I was still expected to do everything as a teacher. It was really rough. I dreaded going to work almost every day. I enjoy the art of teaching. I like interacting with youth. I love my subject. But, pretty much everything that was NOT actually teaching... ugh.

Well, at least I can say that I am free! Free to pursue my actual dreams and hopefully be happy. Be happier for Sir. Be able to support Sir and myself while we continue in this crazy endeavor for another year or so. I hope to be a happier, healthier sub for Sir, one who doesn't have to worry all the time (unless it's things he wants me to worry about!).

Maybe I'll be singing a different tune in a month or so when I'm more established in the new job, but I doubt it!

Punished - I deserved it!

So, update on earlier.

Sir was NOT late, thankfully.

AND, he got a 90% on his assessment!

I did get punished however. When I came home, after greeting him properly, he dragged me into the corner and handcuffed my hands behind my back and to his lunchbox. There I remained for what felt like a long time but was probably 20 minutes.

My attitude certainly changed after that!

I better not forget his lunch tomorrow!

Disappointed in Myself

Things have started to calm down a bit, at least time wise. I am laid off from my job for the summer. While I am enjoying the time for myself and Sir, I am scrambling around trying to figure out how we'll get through the next 2.5 months if I don't find real work.

I am working part time at my second job, but it is definitely not enough to sustain us. I am also applying for unemployment (now on hold.... ).

I am feeling disappointed in myself today, and sad for failing Sir. It is one of my responsibilities to make and pack a lunch for Sir every weekday. This morning, I just...stayed asleep. I didn't hear the alarm, didn't get up - nothing. Sir didn't wake me either. He usually doesn't, but that's not his job. I know I'm supposed to make a lunch for him, and if I didn't do it the night before, I need to do it before he leaves at 6:30. He woke me up to kiss me goodbye, and when I looked at the clock, it was nearly 6:50! I started to panic about his lunch and he told me that he took care of it. I think he looked annoyed, maybe?

I am so mad at myself. Because of me, Sir had to make his own lunch, and he is probably late today - he NEVER leaves this late. And he has a quiz today. Ugh - I feel terrible.

I can apologize when he gets home, of course. He could choose to punish me. I'm not sure what else to do to make it right so to speak.

I guess it's up to what he thinks is best.