Saturday, January 06, 2018

Do You Choose Anonymity?

One of my favorite blogs and people is treasure. A few weeks ago when talking about posting photos she mentioned that she thought about the fact that Sir chooses for us to remain anonymous. At least, as anonymous as possible in a public forum. I'm sure if someone gave that much of a shit, they could figure it out. It's all about plausible denyability, here I suppose. I think if we got that close to someone in this realm, he might think about sharing more and being less anonymous, at least privately. I mean, we have gone to munches and events, after all. We've even come across other kinksters in the area in very public non-kink related places. All were very discreet.

So her comment made me think about those choices. Do you or your Dom-type person choose anonymity? Why? or why not? Is there a certain degree of anonymity? Such as - you can show your face but not your body?

I'm interested in hearing about people's choices. Does the anonymity choice have something to do with a sensitive career, or being in a more conservative community? Or perhaps its just a privacy thing in general. Or maybe it's about being uncomfortable in front of cameras.

For us, it's a little complicated. While we do live in a more conservative area, I don't really think that has anything to do with his choice for us to be anonymous on the net. If they found us, well they're searching out kink, so they're kind of outing themselves too. At first, I had concerns about my family finding things out. But a couple of my family members do have somewhat of an idea about our relationship, and that's been okay (Though most of them are clueless). It's different to read certain things in graphic detail, or see your family member's naked body though.

I think the main reason for anonymity is professional. I have a very public job, in an area where most people probably wouldn't "get it", and there could be really negative repercussions. I don't think my boss would care so much, but I could see there being some uptight pain in the butt person on a vendetta because what we do offends them on some moral level, and it's just not right or something. Sir has a less public job than I do, but it's probably similar, just a bit less of an issue for him.

If I ever became a purely stay at home submissive, or had a part time job that wasn't as crucial, I wonder if Sir's thoughts on that would change. If we had children, would that affect his decision?

The other rule for me is that I'm not allowed to show major nudity. No breasts (nipples, really), ass, or vajayjay.  Even if Sir decided that suddenly, we could show our faces, I'm pretty sure the nudity rule would remain in effect. Sir's rule is that my nudity is for him only. We have private photos of our nudity of course, but those don't go public (Lord willing, ha!). He has mentioned in the past wanting to display me led on a leash in the nude at certain events, so I'm not sure if his thinking is changing on that. Or if in-person is different than digital. I would suspect yes, since people see our faces at munches and events, but not online.

Do you have thoughts or rules on anonymity?


  1. Hi Lea,

    I have shared photos, 'real' names and address with some friends from blogland, but outside of that we maintain anonymity. Friends, associates and family don't know.


  2. I am like Roz. Several people past and present in Blogland know a lot about me- most times that has worked out just fine. They have transformed into Face to Face friends. We have even vacationed with a few couples.

    As for my blog? No if I were to still write I would not put up photos. I have used a photo of the back of my head etc once because I couldn't find the right photo online to represent a position, but my blog had become private at that point.

    I actually can't stand having my picture taken. I certainly wouldn't want one taken of me nude ( no judgment it is just who I am). Let's just say I am the type of woman who is happy the mirror is fogged up in the bathroom when I get out of the shower.

    We do have kids, so there would always be that fear they could be embarrassed if photos got out or we were 'outted'. That being said, our kids have met our kinky friends, and we do have some non-blogger friends who know about our dynamic. These however are people who have earned our trust.

    So yes to public anonymity still. But no to those who have earned our trust (and sadly a few from the past who proved they were not worthy of that trust- but live and learn)


  3. Thank you both so much for shedding light on your choices. I think that maybe if Sir and I were to meet the right people online, he might choose for us to share privately with them. We'll see!

  4. It's been a long time ago and my memory is fuzzy but i think Master and i just sort of said if they find us, they find us. We don't have sensitive careers, as you said, but at the time of the blogs inception, both of our mothers were living and we wouldn't have necessarily wanted them to see what we were up to. Then again, we have always felt that we should be free to live our lives as we see fit. Some time ago a family member made some remarks on Facebook that led us to believe he was about to out us to the world. The only thing that would have bothered me about that would be the photos. Those were not my decision and i let that go many years ago so the thoughts were fleeting at best.

    It's different for everyone of course but i just feel that if "the wrong" people in our lives find out, whatever is meant to happen for us, will happen. i didn't want my sister to find out and i'm not really sure why. She found out the oddest way and once it was out it was out. We talked about it and we're good. Even if it's your job, if they find out then maybe it's just the wrong path. i have a cool story about that, but i won't monopolize your blog!! haha! Thank you so much for your amazing remarks and your endless support. You're a wonderful friend. Your Sir is a lucky Man!


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