Monday, June 16, 2014

Keeping Up Our Dynamic

It has been a good few weeks for us, D/s wise.  Sir has been using every spare moment we have alone to the fullest.

The other day, Sir wasted no time in binding me facedown on the bed. He likes to play with me by making me guess what implements he'll be using. Previously, he laid his possible choices on the bed in my line of sight. This time I had to guess only by feel. The texture of the implement, how thuddy or stingy it was, the size and shape. It was fun to guess! I would say I got about 80% of them correct. Our thin purple paddle, the new barbecue pervertable, the metal backscratcher, the giant ping pong paddle, A really thin shoelace, a piece of rope, the leather belt he loves so much, his huge warm hands. The Wartenberg wheels. Having me try to figure out which was which was difficult. And wax. How I love and loathe the wax. 

The half-hazard pattern he used really did a number on me. Previously, he's only caked my spine, but not being able to anticipate where it would fall has its merit too. Also, that photo doesn't do justice to the amount of wax he used. I had to crop my butt out of the photo (per his rules), but let me tell you, there was wax, everywhere.

Sir really has gotten me to "let go" the past couple of times we've been together. I'm usually very nervous of being overheard, but twice now, I've let my pleasure loose in a continual screaming release that I'm SURE the neighbors heard (Oh well, as long as they don't bring it up, I don't have to be embarrassed.. that's what I tell myself). Sir says that this makes him feel awesome, and he really likes it when I can let loose like that. It's not something I'm actively thinking about, however. I guess it has a lot to do with how safe I feel, how much privacy we have, etc.

As a sidenote, since March I've made an active effort to eat better, exercise, and drop some weight, and seeing those photos... it shows! (at least to me). I've dropped 15 lbs thus far and I think today, posting these pictures is the first time that I've actually been able to see a difference.

Back on track- I feel like we're making progress in our D/s, even if its solely in NOT letting it lapse. We're making more time for it. It's not just about play, or sex or scenes either. Its about everyday service. Sir got really sick last weekend and though I'm not happy that he was ill, I was able to best serve him by making decisions about his food choices, getting him the rest, nutrition, ice packs, medicine that he needed, and making him use it. I was happy to take care of him, and be useful to him in that way. Even if that requires me being "in charge" - that's okay. Because I am in charge... of making my Sir happy, healthy, and serving him as best I can. And if that means he will eat room temperature ginger ale and thin soup, and put the ice pack on, and NOT drive home when he is too weak, that's what it means!

2 comments:

  1. i think you hit the nail on the head really. Being able to let go really is all about trust. We have to know that if we're going to make ourselves completely vulnerable, mentally as well as physically that there's nothing they wouldn't do to care for us, while we're in that state. Once we know that, deep in our hearts, that's when we can trust implicitly. This discovery, for me, was somewhat of a milestone and a game changer. The more i was able to trust, the more i was able to let go and on and on it went. i think this goes for every day things as well, not just play time. Car rides, money, shopping, when things get broken.... letting go and trust are everywhere.

    i'm happy to see that you two are doing so well and really back into your dynamic. i hope your Master is better now!

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    Replies
    1. Aw, thanks. I hope as we get closer (and are less intruded upon), I can let go more. Its key to the relationship, and he loves it.

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