Heard this oldie but goodie on the radio the other day. It spoke to me; I could see the kink in a song I've always before enjoyed at face value.
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Saturday, April 07, 2018
FFF: Tardy with Ten
This was a busy week. Lots of exercise, lots of traveling. Lots of events. I straight up forgot to weigh in yesterday morning. Then I had a promotion event for sports right after work, and when I got home, I took a nice hot bath to ease my aching body, then cuddled up in my blankets and watched Jesus Christ Superstar Live! on Demand. Catching up now!
Workouts: 3.5/7 - I feel pretty good about the amount of workouts this week,though I made it to only one sports practice (other was cancelled for Easter). Most of the rest was due to work things and other commitments, but however it is fit in, it counts for me! Went for a walk on Sunday with Sir and his family. Hiked over 3 miles on Wed. Should have went to sports Wed, but I was pooped. Thursday I went to practice, and we also did circuit training there, which was a killer!
Eating: 1/7 - Oh man. Between my Uncle's party on Saturday, Easter Dinner on Sunday, and literally having candy every single day... this week was a crapshoot. A tasty one, hahaha! Sir and I made each other cute little Easter baskets. He put my favorite jellybeans in there, plus Cadbury caramel eggs (one of my few chocolate weaknesses!). Then the next day, he got me another bag of jellybeans, plus Swedish fish eggs and a Godiva bunny (cause it was the after-Easter Sale, he said, hahaha). I brought some to work, but all that means is that I'm eating it both at home AND at work! Candy and soda are my real weaknesses.
Weight: Gained 0.6 lbs. It's less than I expected. Tomorrow is another day, another week!
Stress: I feel okay, but tired. Not so much needing sleep tired as body fatigue; muscle aches. Also, I had a migraine on Thursday, which made going to practice really difficult. I don't typically get migraines. Sir has had to explain what was happening to me every single time I get one. I don't recall getting any growing up or in my early 20's. Maybe one in my late 20's (now that I know what to look for). And maybe 4 or 5 in the past 3 years. I don't know what brings them on. I realize I am fortunate in that there are those who suffer from them much more regularly.
Decluttering: I did a little better with keeping the house in order, but no "extra" decluttering, really. I did put one book in the donation box though!
Sleep: 4.5/7 - I am trying and managing a bit better I think. Two nights over 9 hours! One night of 6 hours (the reason was so worth it). I took a nap on Thursday before practice and between the nap and regular sleep, I *almost* got 8 hours. Woo!
Hopefully Spring is springing. We were supposed to get snow, but that forecast got tossed out, thankfully! Hopefully it's warming up where you are, (or cooling down if you're on the other side of here)!
Decluttering: I did a little better with keeping the house in order, but no "extra" decluttering, really. I did put one book in the donation box though!
Sleep: 4.5/7 - I am trying and managing a bit better I think. Two nights over 9 hours! One night of 6 hours (the reason was so worth it). I took a nap on Thursday before practice and between the nap and regular sleep, I *almost* got 8 hours. Woo!
Hopefully Spring is springing. We were supposed to get snow, but that forecast got tossed out, thankfully! Hopefully it's warming up where you are, (or cooling down if you're on the other side of here)!
Friday, April 06, 2018
What Are You Willing to Lose Sleep For?
We all lose sleep over things sometimes.
Sometimes it is because we are anxious or worried. Sometimes it is because we are helping others. Sometimes it is because we want to have a little more fun! Stay out at that concert, dance late at that party, have a few more glasses of wine, etc.
But the next morning, sometimes we have regrets.
"Ohhh.... I shouldn't have done that!"
What are the things that you don't have those feelings about? That you may wake up tired, and drag a little through the day... but you have no regrets? Thinking of the previous night brings you happiness, or peace.
One of the things for me, I realized, is intimacy with Sir.
Lately, things have just been hard. Sir is stressed, and very anxious. My job gives me a full plate, and then we both add our extracurricular activities, as it were to them. Though we love each other and cuddle and kiss and hang out, sex things just haven't been happening. Long make-out sessions. Lazy weekend cuddles where we don't have to be anywhere. Exploring the body with fingers. Actual sex. Any real kink whatsoever. Just hasn't been happening so much. We'd even spoke about literally penciling it in. I actually keep a private calendar on my phone to document when it does go down, just so I'm more aware. When we spoke, I think we both came to the conclusion that Tuesday night, that was when it was gonna "go down".
Last Sunday, Sir and I got in late. We were away in New Jersey. We put our things away. We had some food. We exchanged Easter baskets. We took showers and made the bed. I thought it was just time for bedtime.
But Sir made the time and had the patience to take his time. We made out. He ran his hands all over my body. And we engaged in a little dominance and humiliation, which I get embarrassed over, but definitely find hot.
I have a problem with being fingered or receiving oral. It's not that I won't do it, or "allow" it to happen. It just makes me extremely uncomfortable for some reason. Like I'm on display, and that the attention is on me way too much somehow.
Sir decided that he was going to have his fun with me, with his fingers. I was not to move away, or clamp down on his hands to make it stop. I did feel embarrassed and exposed. I sat on my own hands to help me comply. And Sir enjoyed it; this simple act of dominance that required no rope, no props, just him and me submitting to his will.
And with his patience, I eventually got into it, and we had some really fantastic sex afterwards. More showering and cuddling and loveliness.
And it was way past my bedtime when we were done and ready to sleep.
In the morning though... I felt peace. I was tired, sure. But as I sipped my tea driving to work, I could feel myself smiling, replaying the night in my head. I'm glad we didn't have to "pencil it in". I'm glad. I have no regrets. It was worth the lack of sleep.
Sometimes it is because we are anxious or worried. Sometimes it is because we are helping others. Sometimes it is because we want to have a little more fun! Stay out at that concert, dance late at that party, have a few more glasses of wine, etc.
But the next morning, sometimes we have regrets.
"Ohhh.... I shouldn't have done that!"
What are the things that you don't have those feelings about? That you may wake up tired, and drag a little through the day... but you have no regrets? Thinking of the previous night brings you happiness, or peace.
One of the things for me, I realized, is intimacy with Sir.
Lately, things have just been hard. Sir is stressed, and very anxious. My job gives me a full plate, and then we both add our extracurricular activities, as it were to them. Though we love each other and cuddle and kiss and hang out, sex things just haven't been happening. Long make-out sessions. Lazy weekend cuddles where we don't have to be anywhere. Exploring the body with fingers. Actual sex. Any real kink whatsoever. Just hasn't been happening so much. We'd even spoke about literally penciling it in. I actually keep a private calendar on my phone to document when it does go down, just so I'm more aware. When we spoke, I think we both came to the conclusion that Tuesday night, that was when it was gonna "go down".
Last Sunday, Sir and I got in late. We were away in New Jersey. We put our things away. We had some food. We exchanged Easter baskets. We took showers and made the bed. I thought it was just time for bedtime.
But Sir made the time and had the patience to take his time. We made out. He ran his hands all over my body. And we engaged in a little dominance and humiliation, which I get embarrassed over, but definitely find hot.
I have a problem with being fingered or receiving oral. It's not that I won't do it, or "allow" it to happen. It just makes me extremely uncomfortable for some reason. Like I'm on display, and that the attention is on me way too much somehow.
Sir decided that he was going to have his fun with me, with his fingers. I was not to move away, or clamp down on his hands to make it stop. I did feel embarrassed and exposed. I sat on my own hands to help me comply. And Sir enjoyed it; this simple act of dominance that required no rope, no props, just him and me submitting to his will.
And with his patience, I eventually got into it, and we had some really fantastic sex afterwards. More showering and cuddling and loveliness.
And it was way past my bedtime when we were done and ready to sleep.
In the morning though... I felt peace. I was tired, sure. But as I sipped my tea driving to work, I could feel myself smiling, replaying the night in my head. I'm glad we didn't have to "pencil it in". I'm glad. I have no regrets. It was worth the lack of sleep.
Thursday, April 05, 2018
Phrasing - Demands vs. Questions
Two weeks ago, Sir went with me to the supermarket. He doesn't usually go with me; it is one of his most hated chores. Our financial division of labor goes such that he pays the rent (and other things), while I pick up the groceries (and other things).
But while I had been back at work for the past two weeks, I wouldn't get a paycheck for another two weeks yet. That makes four weeks, an entire month without getting paid. I simply ran out of money, things got too tight. We knew it was coming. I even put a plan in place so that this hopefully won't happen again next year. But that was the situation now.
So, Sir came with me so he could be my Sugar Daddy and pay for all the groceries, while I picked them out.
When we got back, Sir told me to pull into our driveway. Our driveway fits one car (barely), so one of us always has to park on the street. Sir was leaving that night to go gaming.
"Park in the driveway; it's okay, I'll look for a spot when I get back," he said.
I wasn't having it though.
"No, there's a spot right here, I'll take it so you don't have to look later."
And that's what I did. I parked on the street. We grabbed the groceries and brought them into the house. Sir went out to game. When he got home, he'd have a free driveway so he doesn't have to drive around looking for a spot. The later it is in our neighborhood, the scarcer the parking spots are and farther away he'd have to look.
But it got me to thinking.
While my heart was definitely in the right place; the place of wanting to make his life easier, I outright defied him. I heard him, and then decided: nope, not gonna do that, and then did what I thought was best. Now, this is a minor thing in the grand scheme of things, and I truly believe that it is not on Sir's radar at all. But I could have asked. I could have phrased it differently, and waited to hear his reply. He probably would have decided to have me park on the street had I said something like:
"Are you sure, Sir? There's a spot right here I could take so it would be easier for you later."
Phrasing and mindset are things I've been trying to work on. It's clear I need a lot more work.
But while I had been back at work for the past two weeks, I wouldn't get a paycheck for another two weeks yet. That makes four weeks, an entire month without getting paid. I simply ran out of money, things got too tight. We knew it was coming. I even put a plan in place so that this hopefully won't happen again next year. But that was the situation now.
So, Sir came with me so he could be my Sugar Daddy and pay for all the groceries, while I picked them out.
When we got back, Sir told me to pull into our driveway. Our driveway fits one car (barely), so one of us always has to park on the street. Sir was leaving that night to go gaming.
"Park in the driveway; it's okay, I'll look for a spot when I get back," he said.
I wasn't having it though.
"No, there's a spot right here, I'll take it so you don't have to look later."
And that's what I did. I parked on the street. We grabbed the groceries and brought them into the house. Sir went out to game. When he got home, he'd have a free driveway so he doesn't have to drive around looking for a spot. The later it is in our neighborhood, the scarcer the parking spots are and farther away he'd have to look.
But it got me to thinking.
While my heart was definitely in the right place; the place of wanting to make his life easier, I outright defied him. I heard him, and then decided: nope, not gonna do that, and then did what I thought was best. Now, this is a minor thing in the grand scheme of things, and I truly believe that it is not on Sir's radar at all. But I could have asked. I could have phrased it differently, and waited to hear his reply. He probably would have decided to have me park on the street had I said something like:
"Are you sure, Sir? There's a spot right here I could take so it would be easier for you later."
Phrasing and mindset are things I've been trying to work on. It's clear I need a lot more work.
Tuesday, April 03, 2018
New Garter Belt and Thigh High - Test 3!
My new "real" garter belt finally came in. I remembered that I still had an Amazon gift card, so I figured I'd take a peek at what they had on there. I chose this one:
Rago Women's Six-Strap Garter Belt
And because of my giftcard, it was essentially free!
My new thigh highs had already come in, so it was time to test. I didn't have anywhere to go until my evening sports practice, so I figured I'd just test them while doing chores around the house.
First, the thigh highs:
They're definitely better than the black ones I tested. The extra lace portion ensures that they are thigh-highs. And it gives an easier area to attach a garter clip. But they are tight! You can see my thighs muffin topping twice in these socks.
Next, getting that garter belt on:
I'm glad so far that I picked this one. It definitely is made of sturdier stuff than the mesh one I first got. It doesn't have hooks at all, so there's no risk of it popping off at the back. I have to slide it on like a skirt. And it is just tight enough that I feel like it will stay up all day. I ordered a 2X. I feel snug and secure in it.
Next are the clips and straps. They're metal! And the button is a nice hard rubber that seems to hold well. When you lift up the strap, there are teeth to hold it in place after you slide it to desired length.
I threw on a random dress and went about my day.
They stayed at my waist. Check! The clips stayed put. Check!
The only thing I disliked about the garter belt was that it is difficult to put the clips on at the backs of my legs. But I think that is more of a me issue- that I have to get used to doing it, and less of a problem with the garter itself.
I am very optimistic that this can be an everyday garter belt. Still need some better thigh highs, but these will serve. They did feel quite tight at the thigh after awhile. But still, better than the previous black ones! Sir and I also tried to test it in the cold weather, but the weather didn't cooperate; it was too nice out!
Rago Women's Six-Strap Garter Belt
And because of my giftcard, it was essentially free!
My new thigh highs had already come in, so it was time to test. I didn't have anywhere to go until my evening sports practice, so I figured I'd just test them while doing chores around the house.
First, the thigh highs:
They're definitely better than the black ones I tested. The extra lace portion ensures that they are thigh-highs. And it gives an easier area to attach a garter clip. But they are tight! You can see my thighs muffin topping twice in these socks.
Next, getting that garter belt on:
I'm glad so far that I picked this one. It definitely is made of sturdier stuff than the mesh one I first got. It doesn't have hooks at all, so there's no risk of it popping off at the back. I have to slide it on like a skirt. And it is just tight enough that I feel like it will stay up all day. I ordered a 2X. I feel snug and secure in it.
Next are the clips and straps. They're metal! And the button is a nice hard rubber that seems to hold well. When you lift up the strap, there are teeth to hold it in place after you slide it to desired length.
I threw on a random dress and went about my day.
They stayed at my waist. Check! The clips stayed put. Check!
The only thing I disliked about the garter belt was that it is difficult to put the clips on at the backs of my legs. But I think that is more of a me issue- that I have to get used to doing it, and less of a problem with the garter itself.
I am very optimistic that this can be an everyday garter belt. Still need some better thigh highs, but these will serve. They did feel quite tight at the thigh after awhile. But still, better than the previous black ones! Sir and I also tried to test it in the cold weather, but the weather didn't cooperate; it was too nice out!
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