So, it's been a few weeks since I've been re-collared, and its been going very well!
At first, it was a bit rocky. I was impatient. Sir did have the rule that I was not to collar myself when I got home (as we used to do), that I was to wait for him to do it.
Except, he didn't always remember. In fact, he usually did NOT remember, not at first. I hemmed and hawed over the decision and then I would just remind him. I was getting a little pissy, because I didn't want to have to remind him. I felt that it was becoming more of a "as long as it goes on before bed, even RIGHT before bed" type of thing than a thoughtful, purposeful thing. Maybe more of a bedtime ritual. But I'm not only his submissive in sleep, it's definitely more than that.
Well, things have changed. Sir has been on his game now, nearly always remembering. Instructing me to come to him and get collared every night.
And... though it's just a scrap of fabric and metal... it has an impact on me and my head. It helps me to remember what I am and who I belong to, especially when things get stressful and I want to hide from duty. It helps me have the fortitude to think of him, and get my lazy butt up when I want to let things slide. Like lunches.
I have been really trying with preparing his lunch every evening, or in the morning. I have slipped a few times, when I've gotten home from work past midnight (and had to be up at 5:30 am), or today, when I don't have work this morning, but he does and I slept in. He hasn't been mad at all; very understanding.
But I have been a lot better than I was. We were in this place where I was doing my own thing, getting myself ready, and he was doing his thing. Now, I make the time to think of him and making his morning easier. I have slipped a few mornings, but I see improvement. In both of us.
I hope he sees it too.
At first, it was a bit rocky. I was impatient. Sir did have the rule that I was not to collar myself when I got home (as we used to do), that I was to wait for him to do it.
Except, he didn't always remember. In fact, he usually did NOT remember, not at first. I hemmed and hawed over the decision and then I would just remind him. I was getting a little pissy, because I didn't want to have to remind him. I felt that it was becoming more of a "as long as it goes on before bed, even RIGHT before bed" type of thing than a thoughtful, purposeful thing. Maybe more of a bedtime ritual. But I'm not only his submissive in sleep, it's definitely more than that.
Well, things have changed. Sir has been on his game now, nearly always remembering. Instructing me to come to him and get collared every night.
And... though it's just a scrap of fabric and metal... it has an impact on me and my head. It helps me to remember what I am and who I belong to, especially when things get stressful and I want to hide from duty. It helps me have the fortitude to think of him, and get my lazy butt up when I want to let things slide. Like lunches.
I have been really trying with preparing his lunch every evening, or in the morning. I have slipped a few times, when I've gotten home from work past midnight (and had to be up at 5:30 am), or today, when I don't have work this morning, but he does and I slept in. He hasn't been mad at all; very understanding.
But I have been a lot better than I was. We were in this place where I was doing my own thing, getting myself ready, and he was doing his thing. Now, I make the time to think of him and making his morning easier. I have slipped a few mornings, but I see improvement. In both of us.
I hope he sees it too.
Hi Lea, I totally understand how you felt having to remind him, like it isn't something that important to him. Glad he is now remembering and that things are going well.
ReplyDeleteI have a vanilla collar (necklace) that I was required to wear all the time, except for in the shower, bedtime etc. When we had a ttwd dynamic it really did remind us both of our roles and made feel feel close to him always. I used to love wearing it, and still do.
Hugs
Roz
It's amazing what a collar can do to our head space. I'm so happy to hear things are going well Lea. I hope they continue!
ReplyDelete