I Can't Top, Sir!

Every once in a while Sir says something to the effect of: well, if you were going to plan a scene, what would you do?

This is so hard for me.

One, as a submissive, I really get uncomfortable with that kind of power and control.

Secondly, if I were to plan a scene that is basically telling Sir what to do to me - I'm not sure if I would be into it. A large part of the appeal is that He is the one who chooses what he wants to do. What implements to use, how I will be positioned, etc.

Thirdly, if I were plan a scene that focuses on my serving Sir... it's very difficult. Sir does not respond positively at all to most forms of touch. If I'm not dancing around naked or actively sucking his cock, he is not interested. He likes massages, but that's about it. I'm also not allowed to touch his hair or feet, and he doesn't like being touched... really anywhere on his body. He actively moves my hands away from rubbing him. So the bag of toys we have are really not useful. I've thought about trying to perform submissive acts for his benefit, but part of the submission is succumbing to his will.

Fourthly, I think I would be... boring. Sir says that when it comes to me, I come up with brilliant ideas that he can use, without thinking first. But I don't know what I would do to him. Or for him that he would enjoy and not be over in 5 minutes.

Sir hasn't demanded that I plan a scene for us, but I wonder what would happen if he made me do it.

My stomach doesn't like the idea.

Definite Hair Progress

I've been growing my hair out for years now. Definitely since meeting Sir, but probably a bit before then too - just not as purposefully.

Today I had a day off from work due to the Easter Holiday. I used it to relax and pamper myself. I took a really long bath, did my feet and toenails, did my fingernails, and I also straightened my hair. My hair has a bit of a natural wave to it, so I like to use a flat-iron to straighten it when I can. I don't do this regularly - it is too much for me and a work routine in the morning. I was meeting Sir at his place of employment so I wanted to look extra spiffy.

I haven't straightened my hair in a few months, but today was a great day to do it! I got to see some real progress on how my hair is growing. Sir likes long hair and I've been growing it for him for over 4 years. We've had some setbacks - major split ends and unhealthiness causing many inches to be cut and a stylist who cut wayyy too much off last year. But today, my hair is nearing my hips! A few months ago, I couldn't cover my own breasts with my hair. But today I can!

I'm going to go for a really short trim (1/8 inch) soon to keep my hair healthy and continue the progress!

Sir's "Tell"

When I'm in public, Sir does not have me  wear any form of collar on my neck. I think he likes the idea of something metal and more discreet, like an eternity collar. We met a girl at a munch last week who wears one and he had a lot of questions. I think it appealed to him.

Though I do have a public symbol on me nearly always. I wear a leather bracelet (which he calls the wristcollar) everywhere I go.

It's pretty vanilla looking, given a brief glance. I believe Sir got it at the Renaissance Faire in NY a couple of years ago. No one has ever questioned me about it.

The other day, we realized that Sir has a public symbol too. He has the handcuff key on his main keyring. No one has ever noticed or wondered why he has a handcuff key. He's not a cop or a first responder. Or maybe no one realizes what that abnormal key is!

I Love My Dresses

Why can't you wear a dress everyday?

A friend of mine posted on facebook that there was a really pretty dress she wanted, but she couldn't buy it because (among other things) she had nowhere to wear it.

Who says you need a special occasion to wear a dress? This dress also wasn't a ball-gown or something super formal, it was a cute casual dress for everyday wear.

I've found that I really enjoy wearing dresses. At my current job, I'm not sure if my clients have ever seen me in pants. It's also much easier to look put together in the morning. Here's what I had on the day I read my friend's post:

I had to put the scarf on with it because I still had that huge hickey from Sir!

This was so easy to put on and get myself out of the house. It's fast, and it definitely makes a person look nice and more put together than throwing on pants. I got a LOT of compliments at work about this outfit, and it's something that I didn't even think about much - I just threw it on!

So, my friend should buy that dress - wear it just because!

Sir's Hat

I am currently transitioning to a new position for the same company I'm working for. Things are very stressful right now and have been for awhile, but should be more relaxed soon. I am currently doing the new job, while still handling all the loose ends of the old one, and I am working myself ragged. It's past 11pm and I just finished completing some at-home work after continuing to do work after my shift ended for an hour and a half.

I completely forgot about a doctor's appointment and showed up on the wrong day. I forget to pack all the things I should in my lunch. Sir has to (sometimes literally) pull me out of bed every morning. I'm exhausted, irritable, sloppy, and have a general fuck-it attitude right now.

Sir has been very supportive, trying to help me as much as I can so we can get through this job and into one that gives me more free time and same pay.

Yesterday, in my dumb brain I couldn't seem to find a single one of my 4 or so winter hats as I was walking out of the door. It is still cold here in the mornings. I was getting frustrated when he told me to wait a moment. He came back with his ONLY winter hat, and lovingly pulled it down around my head.

Sometimes I just want to hug that man so hard.