Wednesday, January 04, 2017

You Gotta Count Your Blessings

So 2016 has gone and now comes 2017. This year wasn't all bad for us, but it really tanked during the last part of the year.

I don't want to make this a drawn-out pity party, so to quickly sum up, in the last month or so:

  • Our beloved kitty was diagnosed with lymphoma. We tried to do all we could for him, but we had to let him go right before Christmas. I miss him a lot, and he is tied into grief over my father (he was once my dad's cat... and my brother's... and mine,... and my roommates... then me (again) and Sir's.... kitty has been around). I picked up his ashes today.
  • I went to the ER with some weird heart/vision problems.
  • Mass continued dental issues. 
  • Lots of tests, and the conclusion is something is up with my thyroid but its not bad enough to do anything real about it, despite the symptoms it is causing. Deal with it, I've basically been told, or medicate for anxiety.
  • Some local kids threw a rock through our kitchen window, shattering it. We live in an old house in Amish Country. This required several days of custom work. It is winter. Hooray!
  • There is something up with the furnace and there have been at least 3 days without heat.
  • Unemployment disqualified me for benefits, even though I meet all the requirements. This is especially panic-inducing after the literally thousands of dollars we've spent/borrowed for the kitty, the more thousands on my teeth, the even more thousands because of the ER. I did appeal, but by the time that happens, I'll be back at work
  • I tried to go back to my former part-time job, but due to inactivity they well, made me inactive. I am jumping through hoops to get reinstated so we can stem this monetary hemorrhaging.
I have felt pretty brow-beaten and depressed about all of this. Sir is a little more resilient. I am trying to be positive but it can be difficult at times. I feel it is definitely impacting our relationship. I know Sir does too, he has made a few comments about my depression and that he doesn't know what to do about it. I feel there is nothing really to do... this is normal considering what has been going on. I don't think it will be forever, and we certainly can't afford to spend more money for me to seek professional help. I'm not sure it warrants professional help at this point, but it is on the table for the future.

I know it is impacting our D/s... I feel bad for that, and I am trying to work on it, but you can't just flip a switch and make problems and how you feel about them go away.

Everything isn't all bad. We had a novel Christmas at home with each other, and we ARE blessed in many different ways - I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

Here is to a happy, healthy 2017!


  1. Yup, that's a lot to deal with. I'm sorry about your beloved kitty and your health problems and financial stress and, well, all of it really. About your thyroid ... have you thought about seeking a second opinion? Was the dr who evaluated you an endocrinologist or just a primary care dr? Thyroid problems can have a very serious impact on your health both physically and mentally ... which I'm guessing you already know. I realize you may not want to shell out more money to see another dr at this point, but I would definitely keep it in the back of your mind for when you can afford to do so. I'm not a dr and don't play one online, but I do know a bit about thyroid issues. (((hugs))) I hope things start looking up for you soon!

  2. Hi Lea,I am so sorry you have been dealing with so much. I agree with Lilli on the thyroid, you should see an endocrinologist if you haven't already, though I understand the financial worries in doing so.

    I am so sorry to hear about kitty. As I mentioned in my comment on a previous post, I have been nursing one of my two through cancer for the last three years and recently, other health issues as well. She too stopped eating in the last few weeks and I had to say goodbye just yesterday. Today has been a hard day.


  3. I'm so sorry about your kitty! And sorry you're having to deal with so many problems at once, yikes- that'd be depressing to anyone, I think! That's a lot of stress to deal with- be sure to take care of yourself, mentally and physically, as much as you can while you get through this rough time, and hoping things get better soon.

  4. It does seem like a lot, at least all at once. Hopefully things will calm down - it looks that way at least!

    Thank you all for your warm thoughts.

  5. Sorry to hear about all the issues Lea hopefully they will settle down soon! That is quite a lot to deal with so its no wonder your feeling down. I hope your submission can keep you content and give you a buzz


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