Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Face to the Floor

Things have been busy and hard. We visited Sir's family for Thanksgiving, then I picked up family and traveled to Virginia for a family reunion of sorts. Back to New York after the weekend, and I spent a few days redoing my mom's bedroom, painting and putting up a fabric wall.

Sprinkled between all of this has been problems with my cat and myself. I continue to have weird symptoms and tests so far are pointing to a problem with my thyroid. I'm getting another test tomorrow.

And my poor kitty. He recently dropped a ton of weight, and has been vomiting. I brought him in to the vet and after a few tests, it was confirmed that he has advanced lymphoma in his stomach. He's an older cat, but he's part of the family. He was also my dad's cat for a long time, so the thought of losing him feels like losing a piece of my dad.

Keep positive thoughts coming for my brave boy.

After much agonizing, we chose to do a month of chemotherapy after which we'll see how he is doing and evaluate either to continue if he is responding, or to go to palliative care.

I don't want to let funding sway what is best for my little buddy, so we're going for it, but I am so stressed out with finances and how I'm going to pay for all this. Even with Sir working... it's like any time I get a little headway, something happens and takes the place of any financial relief, and then some. I'm just digging a hole.

Yesterday, Sir decided that he was going to help me. He can't fix the kitty. He can't make me less depressed about everything going on. But he can help financially. He told me to make a list of every bill that I pay, complete with monthly amount, total amount, account numbers, everything.

I really didn't want to. I don't want him to have to be responsible for me like that. Yes, we take care of each other, but I suppose I viewed it sort of as - if I were doing everything right, he wouldn't have to help me. I tried explaining how I felt to Sir, complete with "but I don't want to" (but never I'm not going to). Still, he'd had enough. He got up mid sentence and calmly walked into the center of the room. He told me to join him. I stopped talking, and very nervously approached him. For some reason I thought he was going to hug me (his stance, perhaps). Instead, he grabbed a fistful of my hair, pulling me down, bringing me to my knees. Then he yanked harder, pulling my face right to the floor. I really wished I had swept/mopped at that moment.

He informed me that he *IS* helping me this way. I *WILL* make him the list and that is the end of it.

"Do you understand?"

"...uh huh."

He yanks on my hair.

"Yes, Sir!"

I made him a spreadsheet with the information he wanted. I still feel awkward about it.

But I emailed it to him today, nonetheless. I guess it is just another level of control that he has. Hopefully with this help from Sir, divine help will also come for the kitty and for me.


  1. Oh, your poor kitty! I hope the chemo helps, and hope the financial situation gets better! And gotta admit, it's kinda hot, what your Sir did...I know when Q does something like that, at the right time, it's kinda breathtaking.

    1. Thanks. I just want him to have a good quality of life, however much of it he has left.

      Sir's actions definitely were appealing!

  2. Hi Lea, gosh, you have had a busy time! I am so sorry to hear about your poor kitty and I can totally relate to everything you are thinking and feeling.

    Three years ago this December one of my cats displayed the exact same symptoms...yes, three years ago. She was diagnosed with mast cell tumours in the chest and abdomin. In her case we discussed chemo with the vet but he didn't recommend it. She has been under palliative care since on daily steroid pills and is still holding her own well. However, she has just this year been diagnosed with arthritis and hyper thyroid.

    I know it may sound as though it may be time to make the hard call, but she is holding her own well and still wants to eat, be brushed, interact etc. I took her back to the vet just the other day actually for a check and re-check of her thyroid levels.

    It definitely isn't easy caring for a sick pet, emotionally or financially. I'm glad your Sir is helping you.

    I hope the doctor's get to the bottom of the cause of your symptoms soon and start any required treatment so that you feel better.


  3. Aw Lea sorry about your cat sending prayers your cat will pull through this.
    Wow that was hot what your Sir did though!

  4. Thanks for the thoughts. Sir is helpful and hot.

    Kitty has decided that he is not eating and won't take pills. I have an appt with the vet on Tuesday. We'll see what happens.

    1. Aww no :(
      I hope they can do something for the little fellow!


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