Monday, November 07, 2016

Not Feeling Attractive

I am a compulsive picker.

Whenever I have a cut or a scab, I just scratch and pick at it. I know that it is gross to a lot of people. It's like I just can't always help it though. So when I am alone in my car, or watching TV at home I find myself picking. Sometimes I even catch myself picking at work or while shopping in public places, though I try to refrain.

Recently my face has exploded with acne. I used to have terrible acne when I was younger, but it has mostly calmed down. Not that past few weeks, however. I've been picking at those spots too. Sir finally told me that I needed to stop picking at them because it is unattractive. As in, he doesn't like looking at my face like this.

Intellectually, I understand. Who wants to look at a face with spots and scabs on it? But, it still hurts, even though I know that wasn't his intent. So I cut all my fingernails as short as I could, and I've been putting neosporin on my facial scabs to try and heal them faster. And I'm trying not to pick. But it's been very difficult, and Sir has pulled my hands away from my face numerous times.

I also chipped my front tooth at work a few days ago. I finally have a dentist appointment in a couple of hours, thankfully, but between my face and my tooth I feel like a right mess.

Hopefully my tooth will be fixed tonight, and my face will hopefully be all healed up soon so I can feel attractive for Sir again.


  1. Aww, I'm sorry you are feeling unattractive. I think we can all relate at times.

    Hope the tooth is now fixed and that has helped some way to make you feel better and that the rest clears quickly. So damn hard not to pick! I'm sure your Sir didn't mean his comment the way you took it.


  2. Lea sorry you are feeling this way. We all seem to feel unattractive and down on ourselves. What about wearing gloves to stop yourself picking your spots. Good luck at the dentist.
    Hugs Lindy

  3. Oh hunny :( I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I know it's hard, but try to stay positive. Sometimes in these situations I have to remind myself that things aren't always what they seem and I'm sure he's just trying to help you stop so the healing can begin. ((Hugs))

  4. We are so hard on ourselves. So much harder and more critical than those who see us through the eyes of love.

  5. In my brain, I understand that I am being too critical and that it will pass. My tooth was fixed and that helped a lot. I still have some of the acne, but I'm doing my best!


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