It was this one:
I wanted to know Sir's thoughts on it. On how he feels about munches and the "cool kids" vs. being "on the fringes". (just saying the words 'cool kids' makes me cringe)
This is what he had to say:
I guess I am impressed with his ability to articulate himself, and his rather mature views on the situation, especially given his history.
These are my feelings on it:
This sums up the experience at pretty much every munch I've ever been to. I am not one of the "cool kids"... and I think it is just a matter of time and being present so that people get to know you so you can assimilate... and yet, if you don't know the main people who attend the munch, you sit on the outskirts feeling awkward as all hell. I still go, because I don't believe it is intentional and that time will allow for others to get to know us, and make it easier for us to integrate.
I have a much better time when I get to a munch early and I can pre-select my seat based on where I think the leaders, or a main group of people will sit - because that is where people who are comfortable will gather and it makes conversation easier than if you're 3 or 4 people at a table on the fringe.
Sometimes I am able to make conversation with other newbies around me, and those are good times, but there is still that feeling of awkwardness, of forced conversation even when people do move around...
I suppose I hadn't thought that deeply about it previously, but with the subject being brought up and thinking now, I suppose I thought I had felt comfortable enough in my own skin, and old enough that these types of social mores that I found typical of my high-school era to not apply any longer. I now realize that I was wrong to a degree and am wondering how much of the "fault" lies within my own self. Being self-conscious and the like.
And all this thought about munches, when we haven't gone to one in months!!! (that may also be a problem; finances)