When to Practice Rope/Having a Plan

Sir and I have been attending a rope class. It's great to see other people and pick up new things. Ways to be more efficient, seamless. Ways to enhance beauty of rope.

Sir started a scene with me on Saturday and he got tripped up on the mechanics of the rope. This is an area where Sir usually gets frustrated. He focuses so much on getting the ties down that by the time he finishes, I'm exhausted from standing and bored with the whole thing.

He was trying to get a new wrist tie we practiced in class. After awhile, he finally changed tack. We sat back down on the couch, put something on Netflix, and he practiced, while we watched TV,etc.

I think this is a better ideal for practicing ties. It made me enjoy the feel of the rope, and the act of practicing in a stress-free environment.

I think that when you are trying to do a scene, that is not the time to practice that new tie you learned. If you don't get it right, it can really change the mood of the scene and set things off-kilter. When you're trying to do a scene, I for one have a change in headspace if we go from applying rope, to practicing. It changes my frame of mind, and makes me impatient. I start wondering if we are going to get to the scene, or are we going to get derailed by this?

I think this is an area that really planning out a scene beforehand applies to. Some scenes can be spontaneous and work out fine. But sometimes a lack of planning can be really evident as far as how a scene turns out. It;s always good to have a plan and be prepared.

Chore Reversals

Sir and I had a good, low key weekend. It snowed here, so we spent all of Saturday indoors, watching it come down, playing video games, and being snuggly.

I was a bit of a grump Saturday morning. I think I was hangry. Sir told me that he was going to the dishes and then we'd have breakfast. I am typically the cook around here. It's one of the ways I serve him. I went to my computer to look something up while Sir finished the dishes (so I could cook). After awhile, I picked up delicious smells in the apartment. When I went into the kitchen to investigate, this is what I found:

Sir made us French Toast! It was delicious and I appreciated the gesture. It's nice to be taken care of once in a while.

Sir also took care of me and gave me the impact play I apparently needed. Besides me obviously craving it, Sir said he was planning on doing something like that soon. I suppose I radiate need sometimes? I think he might have struck me with every implement we have in toy bag. : D

I was feeling a bit apprehensive about admitting my craving here the other day. Feeling like it was selfish to think of my own wants. I know that it is silly, but sometimes I feel like I should focus solely on Sir, and not my personal wants. At the same time, I know Sir wants to know what I am thinking and feeling, and I am a human being. Even being submissive to Sir, there are still times where I will desire things. Hopefully with time I will get better with this.

I think part of my need for the impact/pain is as stress relief. I am highly stressed right now, working myself ragged, and constantly worried about our household and supporting the two of us. The scene... it helps, it really does. And it makes me just want to crawl all over Sir and snuggle. I feel like it really breeds more intimacy between us.

Saturday night, Sir also used the pegs on me! He applied about 4-5 to each breast. And also one on my bottom lip, for reasons only known to him. It was more intense feeling than I thought. I think it was a combination of the weight and multiplication of pain being added by all the pegs at once. I felt really proud for having done it and and I'd like to try it again.

On Sunday, I shoveled us out while Sir took a shower. That's usually a task he takes on. So for the weekend, he cooked us breakfast and I shoveled snow. We changed roles. But don't worry Sir, I don't have any thoughts about being in charge!

Craving

I've been craving BDSM lately.

Some of it is probably because Sir and I are so busy. When we do have time, we cuddle. Or I focus on his desires. I want to make sure I am taking care of him at least. But I am not taking care of myself sexually.

Sir has a rule for me that I am to get myself off 3 x a week. With this new schedule I am so beat sometimes that I haven't made the time for it.

When we got home from the rope class the other night, Sir got me into the bedroom and started making me crazy by paying attention to my neck. He even took my collar off for better access.

He had me suck him off, and it was pretty explosive.

Somewhere in between the neck biting and my giving him a BJ, I took out the toybag and put a lot of implements out... hoping he would use them, I guess? He did strike my neck with the chopsticks, which was interesting.

But I think I am craving more. More impact play I think. More pain.

I hope we get some time this weekend!

4th Valentine's

Sir and I did go and celebrate a little for Valentine's day. We got dressed up nice just for the heck of it, (and admittedly with my prodding) and went to the movies. We're on a tight budget, but my aunt sent us a giftcard recently, so we could celebrate without guilt.

We found a local theater 10 minutes from our house that has incredible deals on movies. It was $2.50 per ticket for us to see Into the Woods! I know it came out at Christmas, but it's not THAT old! If this is the theater's idea of second run movies, sign me up!

We really enjoyed it. Sir loves musicals, which is an unusual trait most people wouldn't guess about him that I adore. It was a good storyline, good singing, and funny. After the movie, we were going to eat at Chili's, but the wait was insane. I know it was Valentine's day, but even for a holiday, it was nuts. So we left and instead went to the KFC next door. And had a good time! We hadn't eaten greasy fast food for over 5 months (last time being the day we moved in here and were exhausted and without groceries). We had a fun time just being dorks with each other.

Sunday we went to a rope class in our community. It was a good class, and between the classes and getting out to munches now and again, I am beginning to feel more comfortable in the kink community. I'm not 100 percent confident, but I am starting to recognize people, and feel accepted. Sir and I are not as newb-ish as I thought. We of course have a lot to learn, and there's always a different way to do a tie, so it was a helpful class. But I suppose it made me think of things we have done and tried - and we're not as green as we once were. There's progress! There is a lot going on in our local kink scene out here. We're in one city, and near two others under an hour's drive that have kink scenes.

I don't think we're ready for play parties or playing with others yet though. Maybe attending a party and watching might be okay for now, especially the first time.

We had the day off yesterday. I made us a nice steak and potatoes dinner. Sir is definitely a "meat and potatoes" type of fella, so he was pleased. We had a short scene that had him practicing the new chest harness we learned and a pretty effective quick scene with a chopstick - dragging it along my neck, and striking my neck at his will. I think it was just close enough to my face for that heightened fear and sensations, without actually being my face. I also marked myself on my foot in his honor, just messing around with our skin markers. It's not faded  yet!

Hope you all had a good Valentine's Day!

Beat - Not In a Good Way

I'm beat.

And not in the fun good way.

I've been laying low here in Blogland the past couple of weeks, just due to exhaustion. I took on a new job (through the same company I've been employed with) and I've really been working myself hard. I also got a second part time gig so we can make a little extra income, and I'm looking for another opportunity for evenings.

Sir had some funds saved from his previous job and after 5 months it's finally all tapped out. So we're just scraping by on my wages right now, and it's stressful.

Hopefully it will work out somehow (I hope but my realism gets me freaking out), and I'm doing what I can to trim the budget, get assistance, and earn more money, but it's still nerve-wracking.

Sometimes play can help relieve the stress though. A good beating and hard fucking can set your brain right sometimes, and see the bright side of things.

That and sleep. A good night's sleep.

Places I'm Not Allowed to Go

When it comes to bodies and access, I am an open book for Sir. He is allowed any part of me that he wishes of course, no restrictions.

He places one restriction for himself due to lack of interest: anal. He generally leaves that part of my anatomy alone. Everything else is fair game.

It is not so for me. Sir is wired differently than me, and different than other men I've been with.

I am not allowed to touch his hair. Ever. He let me touch it ONCE, a couple of years ago. And he let me wash his hair once or twice, for the service of it. Other than that, I've not run my fingers through his hair in the 4 years we've been together. I still forget sometimes, and stop my hand halfway from his head.

He is also very disinterested with his ears being touched/kissed. It's not forbidden per se, but he obviously gets nothing out of it, so I avoid that area too. It's odd for me, because that area drives me crazy! Same with his nipples - it's like he couldn't care less when they're receiving attention.

I also typically avoid his feet, because he doesn't like his feet. I don't mind them, I just want to service them so he might like them more. He's not forbidden me from touching them, but he has said that he doesn't like it. Not for the sensations exactly, but I suppose that because he doesn't like them, he doesn't want me to be around them close up?

Are there places where you're forbidden to touch?

Spreader Bars

Sir and I have agreed that I appear to have developed a new kink in the course of our relationship.

Spreader Bars.

Man, I do love spreader bars. I'm not sure if we didn't realize this just because we never really used them up until recently, or if my mind would have been too closed to appreciate the idea, but...

I love them.

Sir says that everytime he decides to use one, I get like a flood down there.

I even said last time that I wish we had a wider bar. I think our current largest bar is about 4 feet wide. I'd like to experience one that is 5 feet.

I think the issue I have with our current 4 foot spreader bar is that once my legs are attached to it via cuffs, chain, rope etc, there is a little bit of wiggle room for me to close my legs a little, so the spread isn't actually 4 feet. So a longer bar, or the type of bar where there is less freedom in movement might be nice.

That being said, I still love our 4 foot one that Sir built himself.

For you, Sir

A few weeks ago, Sir and I found our wax play candle and used it for the first time in the new place. Towards the end of the session, I cupped my foot as best I could so Sir could hot pour wax into it. It was intense, holding it up knowing the sting would come. Doing it anyway to please him.

I will hold still for you, Sir. I will take the heat as you desire.

This was my first Sinful Sunday contribution! I like the prompts - this one was "Abstract". You can find more at the link: