Thursday, September 13, 2012
Sir and I took a 9-hour drive down to North Carolina a couple of weeks ago. I like long drives because it gives a chance for deep uninterrupted conversation. No interruptions and minimal distractions really help you to focus. On the way back, Sir and I started talking about motivation. He says that I’m his major motivation in life. Him saying that scared me a little. I felt like his goals and drive should come from within. We’ve been doing this thing we do for about a year and a half. Before me, what was his drive? He had three major goals, and he accomplished one before we met (establishing his career). I was his second major goal (getting into a serious relationship; finding love). The third and fourth are in progress, but probably a long way off.
I suppose I feel like he should want to accomplish things for himself, and not just for me, or because he thinks it’s something I want. On the other hand, upon seeing that, I do want to help him be the best person he can be, and attain his dreams. So that’s helped.
I think part of being scared by that statement has to do with the fact that Sir is NOT my motivation for the goals I want to achieve in my life. I had certain big life goals before I met him, and I still have goals. My motivation to achieve them comes from within. I do rely upon his strength and consult him for major life decisions, but I’m still going to go after what I want regardless. He’s been incorporated into the plan, but he’s not the focus of it.
As far as my submission goes - that’s a different story. Now that we’re together, I have additional goals and wants for my submission, and my motivation is definitely Sir. I want to be the best me I can be, for him. I want to be a better submissive, to make him happy, and to progress the relationship that we both want. To do that, I need a strong man to guide me; to guide us. Maybe that’s part of me being his motivation?
We’re supposed to get together tonight for dinner and painting fun! Maybe we’ll have time for Really Deep Thoughts with Sir and Lea.