Weight Loss Motivation

I've been really trying to be motivated about being healthy and losing weight. I did really well before, losing nearly 30 lbs. Then... I just stopped caring. Between moving away from well, everyone, and losing my dad I just stopped giving a shit. And I've gained almost all of it back.

It was easier back in New Jersey. I had friends, a workout buddy, and my dad was my biggest cheerleader. He even took my "before" photo as I stood there awkwardly in my sports bra and shorts, haha.

I am the maid-of-honor in my friend's wedding in November. I have put on at least 10 pounds since I got the bridesmaid dress. I have a real fear of not fitting into the thing if I don't get my butt in gear. Several years ago this actually happened to me. I was the maid-of-honor for another friend's wedding and two days before the event I could NOT fit into that damn dress! I had to run out and purchase a new dress, praying that I could find something in the right color (it worked out, thankfully!) I don't want to chance it here, though. So, I do have a tiny bit of motivation there.

Sir is also helping me. He has been pretty good about checking if I am logging my food and if I am "under maintenance". I can be over my calorie goal as long as I am under maintenance calories - because then, I am still losing weight.

To that end, I now have a new motivation goal.

A few days ago, I read about Kitty and her Master's visit to a Kitty Cafe by them. It sounded amazing, and made  me wonder if we had such a place by us here in Pennsylvania.

Well, WE DO! There is a Kitty Cafe in Philly.

I now have a sticker chart. Every day that my calories are under maintenance, we get to put a sticker on the chart. At the end of the day, if I am under maintenance, Sir chooses the color of the sticker and I get to put it on. If I can get 60 stickers on the chart, we get to go to the Kitty Cafe. It is really helping me; having that extra goal. And I like the ritual of putting the sticker on before bed and Sir choosing the sticker for me.

I'm 10% there!

I made the little chart on Word, and I got really excited about it. But I didn't have any stickers for it. Sir told me that I could NOT retroactively put any stickers on it - the chart would officially start once all the materials were ready. That got me moving. He also said that I had to go out and get Kitty stickers.... duh, I don't know why I didn't think of that! When I went out, there weren't cat stickers, but they did have the paw prints which I really like, especially the colors. It had been a week of talking about the chart to actually making it and then getting the stickers.

Thank you, sticker chart, for the extra motivation. And thank you, Sir!

Great weekend - Outdoor and Indoor Recreation

Two days off. In a row! On the weekend! Coinciding with Sir being off, too!

That doesn't usually happen. My days off usually get split so they're not consecutive, or they're not on the weekend, or Sir is not also off. On the rare times I have both Saturday and Sunday off, and Sir is off too, it is usually because I asked for it and we have something to do in another state that will eat up the entire weekend.

On Saturday I spent the day puttering about the house. I scrubbed the heck out of the bathroom and kitchen, doing a really good cleaning. I watched movies and ate junk food in between bouts of cleaning. And it was so nice just to be HOME.

On Sunday... Sir and I went to another State Park! We had a picnic, kayaked, and I went swimming!

I've had this kayak for almost a year now, and it's the first time we've taken her out. We rented a kayak for Sir. We had a good time paddling at our will. We saw some turtles and a heron that let us get pretty close even if my camera doesn't show it.

Afterwards we had a nice little picnic lunch. And the beach was still open! This was an awesome surprise for me. In my East Coast head, beaches and all swimming close after Labor Day. Labor Day is the last hurrah. No more swimming after that. Well, it was over 80 degrees, and most PA State Park beaches are swim at your own risk - no lifeguards. Which meant the beach was still open! I didn't have a bathing suit, but I took a quick dip anyway, and it was so pleasant.

Such a good day. When we got home, Sir had me crawl under his desk and give him a nice blowjob while he did... whatever he was doing up there. Every time I would try to peek and see, he would grab the back of my head and force it hard down on his cock. Hot. I guess he was watching videos or something. He even put on his headphones so I couldn't hear.

Later, he dragged me to the bed and teased me, basically coming really close but refusing to actually fuck me. My brain loved this, the control being all with him, him denying me and I actually came from that. I get off on stuff like that. Refusing to kiss me fully, but sneaking tiny ones, refusing to fuck me but letting me feel him oh so close.

An all-around great weekend.

Sir's Confidence and Evening Rituals

Sir being back to work is a blessing in many ways. Of course, there is the big one: financially. Forget buying upgraded foods or getting fancy toys or going places - we're excited to pay bills and reduce our debts. I reworked our budget spreadsheet and actually felt giddy.

Another big blessing is how it is helping Sir. Having work in his field has really helped his psyche and it shows. He is more confident at home and more easily dominant over me. He is growing as a person too, having to adjust to this new schedule and new environment and deal with new people outside his comfort zone (read: fancy rich people). It is helping him to think about other long term goals as well; additional certifications, long term job prospects and environments.

Sir started a new little ritual for us. It was going to be every day, but then he got his work schedule. Every day after we both get home from work, Sir had me sit in our bedroom in front of him. He would brush my hair and we'd talk about our day. Then he would put a little bind in it. I would wear it either until we went to bed (if we had work in the morning - taking it out takes time), or until the next day sleeping in it.

It is a really lovely way to connect after a long day, and to serve him by wearing my hair. Sleeping in it is difficult, so it is a nice service for Sir. I find my service more meaningful when things aren't easy. We're probably only going to be doing this on our weekends since by the time Sir gets home from work, there is about an hour before bed. Still, it is a nice little ritual between us.

A Wonderful Couple of Weeks and D/s Headspaces

It has been an utterly fantastic couple of weeks here.

Sir and I went to the beach. Twice! Once for a day trip with my cousin, uncle and goddaughter, and then again this past weekend. My brother invited us for a few days since he was taking his little nuclear unit as well. We brought our mom and it was a great way for all of us to be together at our favorite place. We talked about doing a trip like this for months now, in honor of my dad, and I'm excited that we did. There were times where it was a bit rough, 7 of us in one hotel room and all that goes with it, but all in all I really enjoyed it. Sir I think tolerated a lot of it, with some highlights of enjoyment.

And then when we got back from vacation, Sir got utterly wonderful news.

He was offered the position he had been interviewing for!!!! After two years hoping to progress his chosen career by going back to school for further training he has landed a job in his field. It's a good salary, full time, with healthcare options, a retirement plan and time off benefits. And it's reasonably close to our house (70 minutes). We were worried initially because he didn't do well on his certification exam, and had to leave his school on a sour note but that doesn't seem to be holding him back at all.

He starts Wednesday. I am beyond excited and proud of him. I know this is going a long way for his mental state and his dominance as well. Achieving his goals and being confident goes a long way for his psyche.

Before we got the news, we were actually discussing how to help him feel more dominant since it just seems that our current lifestyle lends itself to my being more dominant. We talked about both our headspaces. Right now I am serving him by being the breadwinner. It is an active decision on his part. And that is what he needs to keep his head right. Active decision making. If he is at home right now, he can still make decisions. He can still contribute to the household (this is the major thing that was deflating him). There are other things besides paychecks that keep a home afloat.

Yesterday he pulled me aside and just physically took control over me, out of nowhere. Pulling me around by the nipples, grabbing my by the hair, kissing me at his leisure and want. Reminding me of who I am. I asked him jokingly, "where is my parade?" after doing a task, and he gave me one. A parade of smacks to the ass.

I have the task tonight of clearing our dining room table. Sir has been organizing the house and put things that he wanted me to deal with in a few boxes on the table. I am to find homes for the items (or throw them out) and then fold the dining table down (it is mounted to our wall). I am about halfway through with it, taking a quick beverage (and typing) break. This is a good lesson in submission for me today. While I don't mind the cleaning and putting away of the items, I am really ambivalent about taking our table down. I feel like it is going to take something away from our apartment - the feel of it being a proper home, perhaps. But that is not for me to decide. Sir has made his decision on how he wants it, and so I must comply even if I'm not really on board with it.

Part of that helps my head too - adhering to his wishes. Okay, my drink is done. Back to organizing for me!