Sunday, February 07, 2016

Beat You 'Til You Climax

On Sunday morning last week before I had left for New York, Sir decided to get sexy things started with me.

I was asleep. Usually, I am. On the weekends he typically wakes up before me and he has taken to fondling me when I sleep. I don't mind this at all, since it is him. He says that I'm much more receptive, probably because my brain is off.

The universe seemed to have other plans. The cat wanted to be on my face. Gets removed. The cat wanted to lay on my side. Gets removed. The cat wanted to continually meow, and just not stop. Sir fed him, but still he comes back with more cries for attention. Cat gets removed from the room; door closed, and Sir goes back to his task.

Then the baby upstairs wakes. Loudly and unhappily. I am fully awake by this point, thinking "just give it up already, it's over". Sir acknowledges that the mood is killed, but doesn't give up.

"Get up. On your stomach. I am going to beat your ass until you climax, got it? Use whatever you have to, do whatever you have to. But I am not going to let up until you finish."

I do as he instructs. Sir is using his belt to beat my ass and legs. I find that I am able to handle a greater intensity of impact and pain than I would usually, probably something to do with the other stimulation. After much effort I finish. It was difficult with all the distractions, and awkward angle. I turned over on my front (after asking Sir) and he beat my front. Only then was I able to finish. Probably because I usually lay on my back when I'm by myself.

After I finished, I fully expected Sir to have sex with me. He often uses a sleep fondling approach as a warm up to sex. But he told me to get up and clean myself up. Take a nice hot shower.

I was sort of confused. What about him and his needs? Sir reminded me that I had once said that having a scene for the sake of a scene and not with sex as the end goal is nice. Which is true. But I guess I didn't mean that I should finish and he shouldn't. I think I more meant that I enjoy BDSM activities in and of themselves. Sex, or climax doesn't have to always be the endgoal, and all activities don't necessarily have to cease after orgasm if sex is involved.

I accepted his decision though, and took a shower as instructed. I suppose I just felt bad for him, and wanted to please him in that way.

In a way it is another form of control though. Him choosing that I would get off that morning and in what manner. Him denying me the opportunity to please him until he decides he wants it. There's merit in that denial, too.

For me, everything comes back to that power exchange. Having a lack of that control.

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