My birthday was last week. Our original plans with friends got cancelled.
But being home and alone does have its advantages.
I woke up being spanked. After several sets, Sir asked me if I knew how many were in each set. I did not.
"Are you not counting?" Sir asked.
"No... I'm barely awake," I replied.
"Well, you should."
So I did. Sir was spanking me in repeated sets of 38.
"Happy Birthday, Bitch".
Sir and I have realized over the years, that I definitely have a little side.
I don't know her exact age, but somewhere between 5-8 I think.
There are times where it's more pronounced than others.
But there is a time of day where it is pretty consistent. And that is bedtime.
Every night when we're getting ready for bed, I definitely feel little. Perhaps its that nighttime desire to be tucked in and cuddled. Perhaps a desire to feel safe before bed. Safe like a child, when life was simpler, and there was less to worry about.
Maybe it's nightly exhaustion removing some internal barriers.
I'm sure now, in listing an "age" there's some things there to unpack in therapy (my parents split when I was 7, so that being my age range... I'm sure that's linked somehow).
But I think I'm okay with it. Sometimes being little is confusing for me. But sometimes it really is nice to just... let everything go, and know I am safe with Sir. That he is going to take care of me, and everything is going to be okay until tomorrow.
Lately, Sir has been staying up much later that I do.
It seems I just can't go to sleep without him, though.
I'd feel tired, get up and put myself in bed...
And just wait there. Whether intentionally or not, my body and brain is waiting for him. And my sleep had been really suffering for it.
Now we have a new nightly ritual, and it's a great solution of Sir's.
He now puts me to bed every night.
I'll get into bed, and he'll join me. I'll cuddle up with my head on his lap. We'll chat softly, and he'll pet my hair until I fall asleep.
Then, he'll gingerly slide out of bed and he can stay up as long as he wants.
It's a win-win.
Sir has me pinned to the bed. Held down at his mercy as I wiggle and struggle to no avail.
He gets both of my hands pinned with one of his, and reaches back with his other hand in a move that is both hilarious to witness in its contortion, but sexy in its dominance.
I realize that look in his eye.
"Sir, please. No.... not the sock off your foot!"
He was kind.
He got up and gagged me with a clean sock.
This photo is love.
Looking at it, I am immediately swimming in affection for this man.
The beach is not Sir's thing.
But it is absolutely *my* thing.
Any beach, even a lake beach, has some sort of restorative power to me. After a visit, even just a couple of hours, I am happier, and relaxed.
So Sir came with me to the beach last weekend. I definitely needed it. And though it's not really his thing, there he is.
And that is love.
