Saturday, April 09, 2011


I remember reading something either on oatmeal girl’s blog, or perhaps in some of her comments (or both) that has recently started to make a bit of sense to me. An idea can be presented to her by the sadist, and over time it will take root in her head, until she is wanting it.

It’s one of my issues that I am not very forthcoming about my desires. It’s not that I don’t have any, because I do. It’s just hard for me to express the few ones that I do have. I feel that I have to be presented with an idea to really have time to process it and let it take root in my mind. It’s much harder for me to think of something that I would like on my own, especially if it’s out of my experience (which is very limited).

There have been some things that The Dom has mentioned to me, for the eventual future. Things that, while in no way did they repulse me, at the time, they really didn’t do anything for me either. I was definitely willing to explore these things, especially for him, but that was about it.

Now, as time goes on, I am starting to think more and more about these previously mentioned ideas, and they are rapidly gaining appeal, to the point where I am now just … waiting for it to happen. Wanting. Wondering, "when will the time come"? The seed has been planted, and now it’s starting to germinate. And I want to harvest the crop.


  1. Yes.
    The germinate, those little seeds.

    They are usually things that scare me, appall me, or just make me very nervous in the pit of my stomach. And then over time... I worry at them. I can't stop thinking about them. I become curious. What would it be like? Would it really be so awful? And then I want to know...

    He's patient, the sadist is. He's willing to wait. He plants his seeds and waits.

    Because he doesn't want to force me.
    He wants me to yield.
    He wants me to offer.

    And sooner or later, I do.

  2. I am extremely non forthcoming about my desires lol. Personally, that has a great deal to do with the fact that when it happens to me I can't pretend it was all because He wanted it lol.

    And those previously mentioned ideas...Oh they do sit there and grow in your mind don't they.


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