Sunday, April 03, 2011
Innocence and Safe Words
We joke from time to time about our age difference (which is actually nothing really, just 5 years). He calls himself a “dirty old man”. Yesterday, I asked The Dom, “If you’re a dirty old man, what does that make me?”
“An innocent young girl.”
I initially scoffed at this. Innocent? Young? Me? Really?! I’m well past the age to be considered a “young girl”. And as for innocent… well I should think that ship has sailed by now.
Yes, I am an innocent young girl. I thrive on being in that role. I have a need to be seen as innocent, and inexperienced (which I am). I don’t want to take the lead. I don’t want to be the one to do the pursuing, most often. I don’t want to admit to some of my desires. I want to be the corruptee, not the corrupter. And sometimes, I want to be coerced. Persuaded, or “forced” into doing something that I likely want to do already, but I just don’t want to admit it.
This is why the word “no” is not adequate enough for me to be a safe word. I know that some people argue about safe words, and their necessity in certain relationships. Relationships where your Dominant should know you enough that it’s either not necessary, or you both don’t feel that your submission should have a safe word attached, or else it’s not true submission.
I’m not one of those people. At least, not right now. Not certain of the future. Where I am, and where we are, we feel a safe word is necessary. We’re new. We’re getting to know each other. We don’t know my limits. I don’t even have any inkling on what they might be, since they‘ve never been tested. So, I have a safe word. And it makes me feel… safe. It makes me feel more secure in our explorations. The fact that The Dom was so adamant about my having one, now, and no matter where this goes also made me feel a lot more secure, since my well-being is obviously important to him.
So I can continue being his innocent young girl.