Friday, January 02, 2015

Rules vs. Expectations

Since Sir and I have been going over my rules lately, it really got me thinking about Rules and Expectations.

What's the difference?

When Sir wanted to redo my rules and make them official, he first had me make a list of what I think his expectations are (being that we hadn't been using any official rules).

I think the lines between expectations and rules are a bit blurry. In fact, when looking some information up online about this very topic, no one actually made a clear distinction between the two. They were used interchangeably, or some chose expectations only as a matter of semantics and manipulation.

I think the difference between rules and expectations is what is explicit vs. implicit. Rules are things that are explicitly defined by Sir. Be in bed by 11 pm. Do not wear pants. Do not utilize the furniture. Make my lunch everyday, etc. Failure to follow these explicit rules can result in negative consequences.

I think expectations are more a standard of how to carry yourself in situations where your Dom(me) hasn't explicitly provided instruction, or is not available for you to seek counsel. Even though they haven't explicitly informed you on how to behave, or what to do, I think we generally have an idea. This came into play for me when we moved. Before constructing these rules, Sir never sat me down and said: You MUST make my lunch. You MUST wear this collar every day. But I knew he expected me to do so, and not doing so would disappoint him or result in negative consequences. I think it also has to do with how you interact with others. Sir has not said that I can't interact with other male dominants, but I know this would not be okay. So when I am contacted online, I am sure to tell him if I think he would want to know (there was ONE instance where I think he would be fine with this Dominant contacting me, and so I said nothing).

Another layer of complication could be Rules vs. Expecations vs. Procedures. What are your thoughts on the differences?

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