Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Attitude Adjustment

Sir and I are slowly transitioning to what our "real lives" will be like out here. I cook us dinner, we watch nerdy shows at night. We cuddle. We go shopping. All the vanilla trappings of living together.

Except... it's not quite vanilla and I love that. I wear my collar more often than not. A few times, Sir has moved my collar to the collar cabinet when I was taking a shower (and I forgot to put it back on once moved), so I've gotten more familiar with the big monster collar. I am getting more used to wearing the bigger collar more often, but I like that Sir will take it out for special occasions; to remind me of my place, or to emphasize a scene he's planned.

Sir is getting more vocal in asking me for things when we're in the house. Asking is not quite the right term, it's more like giving me a task. To look over his work, to give him a massage, to bring him a snack or drink. I like these moments to serve him, even in a small way.

Sometimes I do get grumpy. We're all human. When I get grumpy, Sir has to give me an attitude adjustment. Sometimes it means that I get smacked on the ass until I cry. Another time, he tied my arms over my head to our bedroom door, and then.... calmly brushed my hair. This weekend he forcibly pushed me through the apartment, to the kitchen where I was told to clean the entire thing in an hour. I was pouty because I had a catsuit on with shibari locking me in, and cuffs on all four limbs. I loved it at first, but after a few hours it because tiresome on my limbs, and the thought of doing all that work with such constraints made me grumpy I guess. I just wanted to lay in bed and read. Sir won out in the end, as he should, and over the hour, my attitude changed. I became more needy for his approval and to show him that I could accomplish his task in an hour. He wasn't going to check my work, but I suppose I needled him about it a bit,, and then he did. My attitude changing, I desired his approval, and it's hard to approve of my work for him if he didn't look at it!

When I was working last year a supervisor mentioned that you have to "Inspect what you expect." If you don't check to see if your expectations are being met, it seems like you are not serious about that expectation. I can see it applying here a little.

I asked Sir if he wished that I was more submissive to his desires all the time; that I never fought, or got grumpy against him, and that all my responses would always be "Yes, Sir!"

He said... sometimes. But not always. There are times when I am being a pain in his ass and he doesn't want to have to discipline me. But he admitted that life would be boring if I didn't keep him on his toes now and again. As long as I'm not pre-meditatively planning disobedience. Which I'm not.


2 comments:

  1. Ha! I can so see my own relationship in this. I can definitely admit to my own bratty-ness, but I know that He secretly enjoys my occasional disobedience or unwillingness. It gives him an excuse to get after me and assert Himself. Plus he'd be bored if I were all passive willingness. I enjoy reading blogs like yours. D/s is such a crazy world. He and I have been trying to define our way of going about it for years. We're just starting over - and I'm trying to be as mindful as possible by reading and following other subs. So thanks for writing...because I'm reading.

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  2. I really appreciate your comment. Sometimes I feel like my posts go into the ether...

    I'd still write, especially because Sir reads, but it's nice to know that others are reading out there too.

    I think the same goes for my Sir too, but I also think that it is okay so long as it isn't intentional. If it becomes intentional, then it is a problem. Sir doesn't believe in "funishment" so it wouldn't get me anywhere - though I do like the immediate feeling of knowing he is in charge an asserting himself.

    I also figure, I'm so flawed and make enough mistakes without doing some on purpose!

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