I can’t remember where I saw this, but I was reading a blog where the author was talking about how she feels more submissive when she writes. I think I agree. When I don’t write, I feel like I’m losing ground on progress. I let “real life” get in the way. I don’t like to use the term “real life” because I hope that one day, my submission WILL be part of my real life, instead of the life I keep locked up.
I also think that I feel better when I write because I’m “owning” my submission, and actively thinking about it. I’ve met up with that certain man a couple more times, but we’ve been keeping it pretty vanilla. Sometimes I wonder if it will be difficult to attain the dynamic we both want, but other times, I can see it being so … well, not easy. Submission is not easy, but I suppose I can see it working for us. I suppose I just wish I was a bit more farsighted as to where things will go between us.
When I find myself feeling as though I’m taking a step back, instead of a step forward, I try to immerse myself with things that make me more conscious of this journey, and where I hope it will go. Besides articles and blogs, I take inspiration from other media, like music, or even fanfiction. I’m actually a big Harry Potter geek, and I read loads of fanfiction. My particular favorite pairing is Severus Snape/Hermione Granger. It was the first real pairing I was interested in, and it’s never waned. The reason why I’m bringing this up is to share a D/s themed fanfiction. I don’t think it’s my ideal, per se, but I really enjoyed this story, and I hope you do too!
If you read it on Ashwinder, you must be a member (which is free!) to see the story. You can also read it on FF.net without signing up, but chapter 8 was taken down.